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January 14th, 2005

Done

Ok, that's it. You've had enough of me this week.

Posted by fad at 6:20pm

A-B Will Be Our Champion

Missouri State Republican is disturbed that things don't cost more than they should.
The bill's sponsor, Rep. Bill Deeken, R-Jefferson City, notes that it's been 34 years since the Legislature raised beer taxes. "I don't know of anything you can buy today that you bought in 1970 for the same price," he said.
Since I don't know what else he could mean by "buying" a tax that hasn't increased in 34 years, apparently the good Rep. thinks that taxes aren't actually money the government takes. Nope, we're buying the privilege of being taxed. Well, shit. Why, my whole outlook has changed. I got me a grin on my face that may not go away for days.

Posted by fad at 5:23pm

Nuf Nuf Nuf

Updating this story, his parents took away his car. Mom drives her 21 year old son to work now.
Traffic tickets are nothing new for [him]. Records show that in Cook County, Illinois alone, he's been nailed for speeding, running stop signs and other violations 21 times since 2001.
Something tells me it took the publicity more than anything else to finally cause that.

Posted by fad at 3:41pm

Feel Like A Kid

The first image of Titan's surface.

UPDATE: Which they have now changed since I linked. Odd to have multiple "first image", not "images". The one I originally saw appeared to be a shot from the surface with what looked like rounded, smoothed stones in the foreground.

UPDATE: Ok, think I found the picture again. What I thought were stones are being called ice blocks.

Posted by fad at 2:28pm

Wristband Announces Herdlike Stupidity

I was wondering at what point to declare that the color-coded wristband fad had jumped the shark worse than the phrase jump the shark. This is a good candidate.
Thousands of miles away, two women in Idaho had the same idea. So did a woman in Kansas. The result? At least three separate bracelet ventures targeting left-leaning citizens who want to wear their political affiliation on their wrists - and at least one competitor bearing the opposite message.

[One woman] is selling blue bracelets that say "COUNT ME BLUE," while [another], of Fairway, Kan., offers blue bracelets that say "HOPE." [One family], of Moscow, Idaho, is even more direct; their black bracelets proclaim: "I DID NOT VOTE 4 BUSH."
Proving that partisans can't let their opponents out-stupid them, some Republicans have taken the idiot leap too.
So far only [one] said she has received e-mails criticizing the bracelets as unpatriotic. But [another] said her venture has spawned a counter-protest - from her Republican father [...], a Miami Beach, Fla., resident who voted for Bush, has invested in 5,000 "COUNT ME RED" bracelets.
Won't he be surprised when the fascists arrest him as a commie and put him in the camps with the homos and heathens.

Posted by fad at 2:14pm

So Ronery

North Korea says it's ready to resume talks. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing, as usual.
North Korea on Friday told a visiting U.S. congressional delegation that it would not only return to six-party nuclear talks but also treat the United States as a "friend" if Washington doesn't slander the rule of totalitarian leader Kim Jong Il.
So I guess that group screening of "Team America" is out of the question.
The North's official news agency said the communist state told American lawmakers it "would not stand against the U.S. but respect and treat it as a friend" unless the United States "slanders" the North or "interferes" in its internal affairs, KCNA said.
Interfering simply means telling the truth. Slandering is not acknowledging that Kim Jong Il floats about on a lotus petal suspended purely by the power of his bravery or that he pisses butterflies and shits rainbows.

Posted by fad at 1:14pm

Happened To Me Twice

Eventually, games will be refereed from a control room.
The Karlsbad-based company has developed a tiny radio chip that fits inside a football and determines whether the ball has crossed the goal line, by being able to pinpoint its exact location on the pitch.
Let me translate a couple things. "Football" means soccer ball, and "pitch" is metric for "4 gallons of cider".

I'd be more interested in them developing a device that allows a referee to zap an angry parent threatening and screaming at you for being a super blind -- not just blind, but super blind -- person of questionable parentage for missing a call when the referee who actually fucked up walks passed them unrecognized.

Posted by fad at 12:53pm

The Speech Thing Was Funnier Last Time

Not to over celebrate a celebrity, but lotsa nice quotes from this Matt Stone interview. It's, like, he makes sense and shit.
"They're so celebrated that it's just fun to take icons, make puppets of them, and blow them up.["]
That's my favorite one.
I've noticed that people think there's this really fearful culture in America, and it's just not true," he said.
Which is just so obvious, it's scary it needs to be stated. Unfortunately, only when a celebrity of some sort says, "Hey, it's kinda normal out there," is it heard. Usually only the shrieking gets out. Such as with another Stone, Oliver, who still refuses to believe that people just thought his movie sucked.
"There's a raging fundamentalism in morality in the US. From day one, audiences didn't show up."
Ok, Ollie. Obviously you freed you oxen years ago. Back to Matt.
"That's the greatest part about America, you can say whatever you want about whoever you want.

"People will put you in your place - it doesn't mean you can say whatever you want about whoever you want and there will be no consequences.

"That's not what free speech means. It means that you can say whatever you want, and people respect that right to do that."
Well, that's where he tumbles. As we learned a couple years ago, free speech is saying any fool thing you want, but it is not disagreeing with that fool thing or pointing out that it is stupid. When speech has consequences (as in people disagree with you or don't like you, not as in you get shot or thrown in jail), well, that's just plain McCarthyism. However, it is free speech to defend the person who said the fool thing in the first place. Oh, and to point out the person disagreeing is a FASCIST! FASCIST! FASCIST!

Posted by fad at 10:17am

Science!

Sweet!
The probe landed on the surface of Saturn's moon Titan this morning around 7:45 ET, reported elated scientists from the European Space Agency, who are eagerly awaiting data about the cloud-shrouded moon.

"We have a signal. We know that Huygens is alive meaning the dream is alive," said Jean-Jacques Dordain director general for ESA which designed Huygens.
Even if the spokesman's name is "Jean-Jacques". Which reminds me, last night a new commercial for the History Channel's French Revolution special had a tagline that was something like, "Come on. For 2 hours you can like the French."

Posted by fad at 7:08am

In Which I Ramble About A Stupid TV Show

Tonight on TV -- who is my best, and sometimes only, friend -- is the first episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series. For some strange reason they scheduled this sci-fi show on Friday nights. I, of course, will have to record and watch it later since, being such a devil with the ladies, I have many dates tonight, as I do every Friday. Ok, so I'll be home watching it whilst surfing internet porn and trying to pretend that at least those ladies like me.

The mini-series was surprisingly good, if stocked with a few too many annoying shaky-cam camera swoops and "Here's a cute little girl. She's gonna die. Now she's dead." moments. It wasn't great, mind you, but it passed the hours I would have otherwise spent dwelling on what a shit I am quite nicely. I hope the series pans out. Rumour has it that Richard Hatch (the original "Apollo", not the Survivor guy) will be appearing in an episode or two. No word if the original Starbuck will. How 'bout that guy? Gets to play Starbuck and Face on the A-Team all with a screen name like Dirk Benedict. Nice little run he had there.

Anyway, as I was saying about the CBS report on the memo stuff and how it proves, along with Armstrong Williams and Kid Rock that....

Posted by fad at 6:36am

Hopefully Not Stuff Her In A Trunk

There is a certain type of search hit that always comes across as strange, almost diary-like entries. Usually these are the longer ones. One came in last night that definitely qualifies.

when I pick noelle up at the airport what should I do with her?

I don't know if someone thought their chat window was active and typed into the wrong window or what happened there. That they clicked on one of the links that showed up in the search almost discounts that theory.

Posted by fad at 6:08am

January 13th, 2005

Hork

People with weak stomachs may want to pass on this story.
According to the report, the driver of a $60,000 Freightliner containing about $15,000 worth of merchandise left the engine idling at a local shopping mall while he went into a Sears store to wash grease off his hands, then emerged to see the truck being driven away.
I know. No big deal, yet. So how did they catch the thief?
Police checked the truck's onboard global positioning system and converged on the vehicle an intersection in the Fisher's Landing part of town as Renteria-Martinez was calling 911 and telling a Spanish-language translator he was choking and needed help.

After being arrested, Renteria-Martinez told investigators he was driving when he saw a cup, took a drink without looking and only then learned it he had swallowed the regular driver's tobacco spit, police wrote.
Oh yeah. That's a taste that'll linger.

Posted by fad at 4:09pm

TV Is My Best Friend

All them people like them values? They like that Bible? Jews run the world? Have I got the miniseries for you.
ABC and producer Robert Halmi Sr. are joining forces to bring "The Ten Commandments" to the small screen.

Halmi's Hallmark Entertainment will produce a miniseries about the Ten Commandments and Moses, the man who, according to the Bible, received them from God on Mt. Sinai. Robert Dornhelm ("RFK," "Suburban Madness") will direct the four-hour project.
Don't you bluestaters feel left out, though. FX has a treat for you.
FX, meanwhile, is at work on its own miniseries based on the Ten Commandments. The 10-hour project will offer varying takes on what the commandments mean in contemporary society, with a different director -- among them Steven Soderbergh, George Clooney and Gary Ross ("Seabiscuit") -- handling each of them.
Sounds like a fantastic idea. Restores my faith in humanity, it does.

Posted by fad at 3:42pm

Sir Wuvs-A-Lot

A teddy bear company has released a new doll
The Vermont Teddy Bear Co. is featuring a 15-inch bear in a straitjacket. The $69.95 stuffed animal is called the "Crazy for You Bear" and comes with its own commitment papers.
Awwww..... No word if it comes in his or her plushie version. The Committee Of People Who Need To Get Outraged! Over Every Little Thing had no choice but to react to this.
Mental health advocates believe the bear is "a tasteless use of marketing that stigmatizes persons with mental illness," said [the] executive director of the Vermont chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill.
The CoPWNtGO!OELT also stated that those people who rap on their head when they say "knock on wood" are right out and shall be receiving nasty notes. And, no, they won't be written in crayon, smartass.

UPDATE: Changed because this post broke one of my rules about taking shots -- no matter how mild -- at (most) other bloggers.

Posted by fad at 2:47pm

Science!

In the middle of the night tonight Huygens is finally supposed to hit the atmosphere of Titan. After that, who knows? Maybe a Denny's or a movie?

Posted by fad at 12:45pm

Too Busy For Anything Else

"No, I'm talking only about the scum. This scum, which exists in every society and rises to the surface during any transitional period, lacking not only a purpose, but any sign of rational activity, merely expresses unrest and impatience with all its might. Meanwhile, without even knowing it, this scum almost always falls under the control of a small group of 'progressives' acting with definite aims; this group directs the scum wherever it likes, so long as the group isn't composed of complete idiots, which, however, is sometimes the case."

Posted by fad at 12:21pm

FISH

We have ourselves a real pair of winners here. Warning: stupid, fake registration may be required for the link.
If you ever wanted to read about speeding Illinois drivers getting nailed, pull up a chair.

On New Year's Day, in the space of 3 hours and 6 minutes, a 2004 Nissan Altima with Illinois plates was pulled over for speeding four times in four Wisconsin counties, all on I-90.
Stupid flatlanders. So you're thinking something like, "Man, these people must be slow learners." Slower than you think. We're talking me trying to understand poetry slow. Ok, nothing's that slow.
On the first three stops, the driver was [a] 21 [year old man], of the Chicago suburb of Prospect Heights, according to the Wisconsin State Patrol.

But the top speed was reached by [his] 18-year-old [girlfriend] of neighboring Mount Prospect. She was the one ticketed the fourth time, as [he] had been taking a nap.
Now ole speedy shows us the candle wattage powering his thinking mobile.
[He] isn't happy about his $902 share of the $1,393 speeding tickets. But he wasn't embarrassed, either, when told Wednesday that he would be in the newspaper.

His first words were, "I'm famous!"

[He] just hopes his parents don't find out. They know he got caught going 60 in a 40 mph zone near home a few days before the Wisconsin rampage.

"My father kicked my ass" after the first ticket, "so I can't tell him about this stuff in Wisconsin," Pac said.
I think this young man is a bit confused.
[His girlfriend] had called him at 4 a.m., crying over a fight she had with a friend at a party, so he drove 180 miles to Wisconsin Dells to pick her up.

"I would do everything for her," [he] said.

The trouble was, [he] had to be home by 10 a.m. to start his $9.25-an-hour clerk's job at Nordstrom Rack. Hence, he blazed his trail through Wisconsin, on half an hour's sleep, after some partying on New Year's Eve.
It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?
[A] State Trooper [...] had the honor of pulling over the Altima for the fourth and final time. He said that after hearing about the first three stops on his radio, he had joked that he would be making the next stop. But he didn't expect the sedan to go screaming by at 108 mph.
[...]
The trooper said he tried to explain to [them] the danger of traveling 43 mph over the speed limit - particularly without wearing seat belts, which earned the couple $10 tickets along the way.

But [the young man] scoffs at such concern. He said he has been driving since he was 9 in his native Poland and that he has been safe at high speeds during his five years in the U.S. - even though he has had to hire a lawyer numerous times over various tickets and license suspensions.

"You have to have an exciting life," he said of his NASCAR tendencies, "because (otherwise) life is boring."
Dude, and don't, like, forget to leave a beautiful corpse.

Posted by fad at 7:30am

Lazy

Ever since the archives were re-established, the search hits have gotten a little more interesting. Sure, there's the usual obsessions with Elijah Wood's girlfriend (if he has one) and penis size, and Laurie Coleman's attempted career as an actress/lingerie model must have gotten mentioned somewhere this month, too. There's the usual steady stream of people in eastern Europe looking for "childe porno", and it's amazing how many people do a search just on "fucking idiot". Oh yeah, and the continued pattern of typing in a celebrity's name followed by "jew". New this month are the many, many people searching for "tub girl". I highly suggest you don't search for this. Anyway, here are a few that caught my eye.
mens posing pouch galleries
Yeah, I really don't want to know.

hitler wearing shorts
That's got to be up there with the ultimate in weird fetishes.

exposing yourself to young boys
cats with guns pictures
sheryl crow's teeth
I can't take credit for these three. They are all thanks to comments left by others. The first, well, that's just the internet. The Sheryl Crow one sort of makes sense since search engines' non-porno related purpose is to find weird things about celebrities. The cats and guns one is just plain weird. That it showed up multiple times is even weirder. So my thanks to Emily and Tanya for helping steer these people my way.

VELCRO WALLET
I hear that search in my head being shouted in Animal's voice. Maybe this is what the scary, shouty person was looking for.

why youngsters call people assholes when cornered
Someone let grandpa onto the internet again.

Oompa Loompas conspiracies
First of all, they're real, they're everywhere, and they run the Jews and the Freemasons.

disneyland wearing diapers
athletes wearing diapers
These both followed each other quite quickly and were from the same fine Canadian ip.

work halliburton inside track scoop
Well, first thing first: Do you hate all living things and do you like bashing the bones of the innocent?

laura bush booger eater
Booger eaters were the deciding demographic of the election. They felt they had an administration that understood them.

madonna's cult faked holocaust
That's a new twist-tie on holocaust denial shitpost. Though I read yesterday -- and can't remember where -- that some kaballahlist was intimating that the holocaust was caused by the Jews being psychicly impure or some nonsense like that.

sauerkraut digusting
Whoever you are, you sicken me. It's one of the finest foods ever created. Anyone who hates it is twisted, wrong and needs to spend some serious time re-evaluating themself.
Ok, that does it for this half month.

Posted by fad at 6:38am

January 12th, 2005

I Am B. Traven

Who are you on the disappearing celebrity list?

Posted by fad at 6:19pm

Site Admin Stuff

Would it butterscotch anyone's nachos if I started closing comments to all posts older than a week or so?

Posted by fad at 4:57pm

A Title

A brand new casino right downtown near the sports arenas? Interesting.
The constitution allows riverboat casinos to be located on moats, so long as the gambling area is located no more than 1,000 feet from the closest edge of the river’s main channel.

The Pinnacle project meets the requirement when the word “channel” is broadly defined as including the usually dry area that is covered by water when the river is at flood stage.
Nicely done. Competing casino companies weren't happy.
“It’s not on the river in any sense of the word,” [...] “It’s up a hill. It’s behind buildings. It’s in a developed section of St. Louis…at a completely different elevation than the river. From this site, you can’t see the river.”
"This is an ex-parrot!"

Posted by fad at 4:23pm

Spacial Destruction

Is no place safe from American violence?
A NASA spacecraft with a Hollywood name - Deep Impact - blasted off Wednesday on a mission to smash a hole in a comet
[...]
"We'll be there July Fourth," NASA launch director Omar Baez said.
Jingoistic bastards. I knew I should have voted for Kucinich.

Posted by fad at 3:33pm

Random Children's Game I Hate Simply Because Of The Name

Marco!

Polo!

UPDATE: I fear this information may be used against me....

Posted by fad at 2:57pm

Like Andy Richter On Hard Copy

I look forward to a few years from now, when some new star bursts out of a hot new TeeVee show or whatever, to finding out they started here.
The company's cable network E! Entertainment Television has partnered with U.K.-based satellite broadcaster British Sky Broadcasting to present daily half-hour courtroom re-enactments of the pop singer's impending trial on child molestation charges. The series will use verbatim court transcripts and actors to highlight portions of the previous day's testimony and courtroom happenings.
Hey, it could happen.

Posted by fad at 2:23pm

Behind The Scenes Ugly

So far I'm halfway to my goal of making it a whole week without deleting a post. Aren't you happy for me? Don't answer that.

I'm normally not all that goal oriented since, hey, I'm a failure, so why bother? But this week, I decided what the hell. Yes, it's just part of that crazy unpredictableness of mine that makes me such a devil with the ladies.

Posted by fad at 1:50pm

Empty Headed Dolt

I've heard of Strawberry Fields Forever, but I'm not sure I've ever heard it. If I did, it obvious had about as much impact on me as most other Beatles' songs.

Posted by fad at 1:03pm

Guilty Pleasures

I've seen it elsewhere, but decided to do it as well after reading it at Jackie's site. So here is the guilty pleasures thingy.

CD I have in my car that I roll up the windows to listen to

Well, I've never had a car with a CD player, but I'll stick to the spirit of it rather than the literal. I pretty much keep 'em rolled up all the time because I assume everyone will think my music sucks and don't want to be bothered with it. Self-loathing means being courteous.

Book I read flat so no one could see the title

All of them. I'm obsessed with hiding what I'm reading from everyone.

Crappiest song ever sung at karaoke

Well, only did that once, so "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe".

Bad movie I watch repeatedly

That could be many in the TBS/TNT bullpen (Zoolander being the current one I always stop to watch a bit everytime I catch it), but I'll go with one I own. Zorro The Gay Blade. Actually, if I watch it repeatedly, that can't mean it's bad, just misunderstood.

Article of clothing I love though I know it's wrong

Probably everything I own. The advantage of being an ugly man is you don't have to worry about such things. Can't pretty up a shit pie, so no point in bothering. For the hell of it, the shirt with a picture Curious George bowling on it. It was left out in the back of a car, so has bits of faded spots on it. I still wear it, mostly when I fly.

What I order at the bar when no one is listening

You're in a bar to drink. If it has alcohol, why the hell would I be ashamed? Even then, by the time a few are down, shame's out the window anyway.

Fast food item I adore

Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell. Can't help it.

A TV show that is a good example of the downfall of civilization that I love anyway

Nothing I can think of... Though my sister-in-law would say The Simpsons, which is why she has forbidden my brother from watching it.

Posted by fad at 12:48pm

A Couple Windy Items

I'm sorry about my recent obsession with Chicago, but it keeps providing material.
That was the message Tuesday when two influential aldermen proposed that Chicago become the first city in the nation to require sports stadium operators to file affidavits verifying that athletes who play there are free of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs.
Should that be voted up (and even in the extreme unliklihood it is, it'd be tied up in the courts immediately), that means they are threatening to shut down the stadiums if any player -- home or visiting -- is later found to have been on steroids. And you know why they are doing this.
"It's important for the youth of the country. ... Adults are leading them in the wrong direction," Murphy said.
It is, of course, for The Children™.

That's not all from the article. In a proposal to limit each household to three dogs, comes this quote.
"The barking, the dog feces, them getting out of the house. ... They're all over the place. They're like Bumpus' dog from 'The Christmas Story.' I don't see why anyone would need more than three dogs," Doherty said.
While he gets bonuses for the reference, I always shudder when a government official says something -- whether I agree with it or not -- along the lines of, "I don't see or understand why anyone would want this." To me, your personal lack of imagination isn't all that legitimate a reason for a law or regulation.

Posted by fad at 12:22pm

Many With Gritted Teeth

The UN is about to hold a meeting. Only this time, something interesting might be found.
The U.N. General Assembly will commemorate the 60th anniversary of the liberation of World War II Nazi concentration camps at a special session on Jan. 24, Secretary-General Kofi Annan said.

Annan said he was pleased that a majority of the 191 U.N. member states had agreed to the U.S. request for a meeting of the world body to mark the liberation.
How many member nations will refuse to participate, do some sort of stupid protest, or try to include condemnation of Israel as part of the commemoration?

Posted by fad at 12:05pm

Two Very Annoying Things Heard At Lunch

  1. "More Than Words" by Extreme. This is without question one of the worst, most foul attempts at music ever shat out of Satan's digested spam clogged colon. I'm pretty sure when I first heard this was one of the final bits that convinced me that life has no meaning, and it was time to just sit quietly and wait to die.

  2. A man actually ordered "freedom" fries. I couldn't believe that someone was still on that pathetic little train. Though, if anyone would still be saying that, this was a very likely place to hear it.

Posted by fad at 11:30am

Fucking Idiot

The word is "reports", not "reprots".

Posted by fad at 10:36am

Now That'll Be A Good Book

What can I say? I love reading about little potentially solved mysteries like this. That astronomy is involved is a nice bonus.
What makes it important to scientists is not the titan's muscular form but the globe he supports: carved constellations adorn its surface in exactly the locations Hipparchus would have seen in his day, suggesting that the sculptor based the globe on the ancient astronomer's star catalog, which no modern eyes have seen.
[...]
This catalog no longer exists, and previously the only evidence for it came from references made to it by astronomers who followed Hipparchus, Schaefer said.
[...]
An analysis of the positions of the constellation figures on Atlas's globe allowed Schaefer to date the work to 125 BC, plus or minus 55 years. This would have been within the range when Hipparchus would have been working.
The true tale behind this statue soon to be told in an exciting new Dan Brown book in which Jesus and Mary Magdelene time traveled back to 125BC to work with Hipparchus to stop the evil Moriarty from destroying Stonehenge.

Posted by fad at 7:22am

Science!

Like pain? Like to mix it with religious symbology? Have we got a deal for you!
One aspect of the two-year study will involve followers of both religious and secular faiths being burnt to see if they can handle more pain than others.

Some volunteers will be shown religious symbols such as crucifixes and images of the Virgin Mary during the torture.
Sign me up!
The team from the newly-formed Centre for Science of the Mind also want to include people with survival techniques in the torture experiments, which may help the special forces easily identify people with high pain thresholds.
Volunteers will be asked to provide their own leather, whips and strap-ons for sanitary reasons.
Volunteers will have a gel containing chilli powder or heat-pad applied to the back of their hand to simulate pain.
"Simulate" pain? I thought pain was pain. Whether any damage is being done to the body to cause that pain is a different issue.

Posted by fad at 6:59am

Here's To Phil

I was reading this:
The law on the amount of force householders can use against burglars will not be changed, Home Secretary Charles Clarke has announced.

A review has concluded the current law, which allows people to use "reasonable force" against intruders, is "sound".

But Mr Clarke says there will be a publicity campaign to ensure people understand they can protect themselves.
and started imagining this publicity campaign in the style of 50s filmstrips or a Troy McClure short. But that reminded me that that bitch shot Phil Hartman, and now I'm sad.

Posted by fad at 6:48am

Sick Twisted Fucks

Disease is always a major concern after a horrific natural disaster. It can often times take as many or more than the actual event did. Diseased humans can ruin more lives in yet another way.
The United Nations and international aid agencies have expressed serious concerns that child traffickers could take advantage of the situation and try to sell orphans into forced labor or the sex trade.

``There is definitely a danger. The opportunity is there,'' said Udaya de Silva, a police inspector in charge of crimes against women and children in the Sri Lankan capital of Colombo.

At the relief camp inside a Buddhist temple, Somadasa's relatives backed his claims, saying that two men, one English and another Indian, visited the camp several times, asking about orphans and offering to provide aid to the family.

The men asked about Somadasa's two grandchildren after hearing their mother had died in the tsunami and took pictures of the girls with their grandfather, the girls' aunt, A.H. Dammi Pushpakanthi, said.
The police claim that the man tried to sell the children with foreigners tipping them off. Either way, it is pretty likely there are traffickers stalking the camps.

Posted by fad at 6:41am

Wonder If I Could Get Them To Link To Porn

Apparently, if one words one's ad as neutrally as possible, one can get the local metrolink to display -- without checking -- an ad with any ole link on it.
Metro plans to remove a white separatist group's advertisements from MetroLink trains today, calling the group's philosophy offensive.

The St. Louis unit of the National Alliance paid $1,500 for 50 ads on MetroLink trains. The ads read, "The Future Belongs to Us," and provide the group's Web site and phone number.
[...]
"Metro reserves the right to refuse controversial advertisements and would indeed consider this to be controversial," Jones said. "We were completely unfamiliar with the organization and its philosophy. Its philosophy is not in step with a public agency such as ours."
So, to this point they were only concerned with the content of the ad itself, not to what it might reference or link. The group is, of course, outraged and ready to ACLU up.
[T]he St. Louis chapter's public relations director [...] said National Alliance members were not white supremacists. They simply want to live and interact with people of their own race, he said.
"We're not white supremacists. We just think we're better than everyone else and happen to be white."

In an attempt to ward off litigation, Metrolink gave the usual "real" reason for pulling the ads.
Jones said the National Alliance ads were due to come down this week anyway because the group's contract is up.
The group says that is not true, and they will be suing should ACLU take up their case. Couple that with the publicity of the recent Supreme Court decision on the KKK adopting a highway and Missouri might have a bit of a PR problem. Nobody remembers that the state/city attempted to fight this stuff or even the first amendment issues involved; they just remember that Missouri is the place for active racist fucks.

Posted by fad at 6:17am

Candidate For Post To Be Deleted

Five Related And One Unrelated Observations

Posted by fad at 6:12am

January 11th, 2005

Small Steps

Woo! Three whole days with no deletions! And let me tell you, it's been rough because there's been some real shit posted around here this week.

UPDATE: Yeah, I immediately regretted this post almost making it the first to go and break the streak.

Posted by fad at 5:56pm

Unique Hospitality

Another consequence of the dreaded cellphone.
By October, the emergency call boxes that line interstates in the Metro East area could be just a memory.

With more and more motorists carrying cell phones, the Illinois Department of Transportation is considering sending the 275 bright yellow boxes to join other relics in the techno trash heap, even though their use has increased threefold in the past four years.
So if you break down and don't have a cellphone, welcome to East St. Louis!

Posted by fad at 4:34pm

Atrocity

Hey! The BBC is stealing my bit of posting odd search requests. Ok, so I stole from everyone else, but that doesn't make them right. Bastards. At least they're informative.
Search engines are key to the way people use the internet.
Fascinating.

Posted by fad at 4:04pm

Steve Allen

ALF is back. In squealor form.
An animal rights activist was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison for setting fire to a Brigham Young University building that housed animals used in feed experiments.
[...]
"We started the fires to make a political statement on behalf of the Animal Liberation Front," [he] said in an earlier statement to the court.

[He] received less than the five-year mandatory minimum sentence because he agreed to testify about the animal rights group's other illegal acts.
Will this be an in to the organization? Probably not as it appears to be a loose, intentionally unorganized gang.

Posted by fad at 2:16pm

Perhaps It Is A Greer Inspired Protest

The Man tries to crush the dissent of a man showing solidarity with war victims the world over.
Police say the most recent incident occurred Sunday morning during a swim meet. A mother of one of the swimmers found a man in his 30s standing naked in the girls' locker room. By the time police arrived, the man had left.

On December 12th, several parents at a girls' basketball game told police they saw the man walking naked in a hallway.
As we learned a couple years ago, public nudity is a war protest. Fight that good fight, brave man. Justice shall live on.

Posted by fad at 12:52pm

More Chicago

Another interesting development out of Chicago.
"I admit I obtained money from the city through fraudulently obtained contracts," Duff, 46, of Burr Ridge, told a judge Monday.

The plea by Duff is "blind," meaning he didn't strike a deal or cooperate with the government against others still going to trial.
He pled guilty, but refused to squeal on anything. So, perhaps he was looking at a relatively short sentence?
Under current statute, Duff faces up to 20 years on the racketeering charge and up to 20 years for each of seven counts of money laundering alone.
Makes one wonder what would motivate someone to willingly swallow that much jail time and not testify or give evidence. Some might claim an honor amongst the thieves, but I suspect there is a fear motive in there somewhere.

Posted by fad at 11:55am

Prevert

This is outrageous!
The debate about perchlorate contamination in drinking water is getting more heated as environmentalists object to a report claiming the widespread toxin is far less dangerous than was thought.
[...]
The NAS panel recommended a level for safe human consumption that translates to approximately 20 parts per billion in drinking water. Two years ago, the EPA issued a preliminary recommendation of 1 part per billion.
This president was elected to put arsenic and cyanide into the water supply, not this "perchlorate" shit.

Posted by fad at 10:55am

Too Much Gold

I really wish I'd known about this before Ms. Greer guest posted last week.
Feminist writer Germaine Greer has walked out of the Celebrity Big Brother house five days into the show.

Newly arrived housemate Jackie Stallone, mother of Sylvester, tried to convince her to stay but the 65-year-old would not be persuaded.
[...]
Greer earlier failed to persuade other contestants to stage a naked protest.
And that failure must be counted amongst the world's greatest successes.

Posted by fad at 7:04am

Pink Cheeked And Robust

Minnesotans are going to get a chance to exercise some angst over losing their nice.
NBC news anchor Brian Williams will broadcast live from the Fitzgerald Theatre in St. Paul on Thursday night during a stop in the Twin Cities area to take Minnesota's political pulse and visit with Garrison Keillor.

"We think your state is fascinating,"NBC Nightly News" executive director Steve Capus said in an interview Monday. "Minnesota seems to be going through a political identity change."
I'm sure Keillor will have fascinating, objective and well observed insights into why all you goddamn, fucking rubes he hates having to dirty himself by acknowledging have taken to extremist hatred, homophobia and racism which can be the only reasons for not voting DFL like he keeps telling you to.

Sidenote: 'Twas a delight to learn during a commentary for a season five episode of The Simpsons that the show runner that year actually does loathe Keillor, at least his humorist side.

Posted by fad at 6:36am

And So Endeth These Rants

I spent way too much time thinking about an "upon final review, Return of the King is just not a good movie" -- from the whiny Rohan theme, to the fact that I couldn't give two shits about Gondor, onto that by the end I was hoping that Sam would Burning Bed Frodo, or at least that everyone would die -- post, but decided we all have better things to do with our time.

Ok, one last thing: So, what was with the use of the same wide-eyed children in all three movies? You see them as hobbits, scared children in Helm's Deep and scared children in Gondor. Was it just a casting thing that he thought they were oh-so-cute, or was it some cheezy "unity of the humanoids"/"do it for The Children™" thing?

Posted by fad at 6:10am

January 10th, 2005

Damn I'm Funny. I Can't Believe How Funny I Am.

It's time again for one of everybody's favorite features here at Farm Accident Digest: Space heater tips. First, I'll just borrow a couple from the article. I mean, why work when they already did? That's a bonus tip unrelated to space heaters...except that the work done was about space heaters...or..um. Onto the tips.
-Place heater on a level, hard surface and keep it at least three feet from drapes, furniture and other flammable materials.

-Turn off space heater before going to sleep or leaving the room.

-Keep doors open to the rest of the house if using an unvented, fuel-burning space heater. Keep a window open at least one inch for proper ventilation.

-For generators, opening doors and windows will not prevent carbon monoxide buildup. The unit should be located outside and away from doors, windows and vents that could allow carbon monoxide to come indoors.
Personally, I keep my generator under my bed. The hum soothes me to sleep. Now for some additional FAD tips:This has been a service of Farm Accident Digest.

Posted by fad at 4:49pm

The Fun Of Distance

As I often say, one good thing about having to live in St. Louis is that Illinois is right next door to entertain.
Blagojevich asked the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency to close the landfill last week after he learned about it during a Christmas Eve dinner. State officials found multiple violations, including improper dumping and disposal, at the site run by Frank Schmidt, a Crown Point, Ind., resident and cousin of Ald. Mell's wife.

Blagojevich sent the inspectors after Schmidt reportedly said he could avoid the permit process because of his relationship with the governor and Mell. Schmidt denies that claim.
For those who don't know, Mell is Blagojevich's father-in-law and, early in his career, one of his primary political mentors. Also, as an alderman in Chicago, well, you can guess what influences he has.
Since then, Mell has said Patti Blagojevich has "got blinders on." He also has said he hopes she "will wake up one day" and realize her husband is the type who will "throw anyone under the bus."

Mell prided himself on helping Blagojevich rise in the political ranks. Now, however, Mell said his daughter doesn't talk to him much and his political advice isn't sought, as he's been pushed to the side in favor of Blagojevich's top fund-raiser, Christopher Kelly.
Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family.

Posted by fad at 2:54pm

Heavy Breathing Skillz

Now why didn't I think of trying this?
A man was arrested on charges he made dozens of obscene phone calls from an unexpected place -- a hospital intensive care waiting room.
[...]
"He knew the calls wouldn't be traced back to his number and he developed a pattern of making calls between 8:30 to 10:30 a.m. on weekdays and noon and 2 p.m. on weekends."
Then I'd be a devil with the ladies.

Posted by fad at 2:19pm

Fine Entertainment

They outbid Lifetime?
CBS has bought the rights to make a television movie based on Amber Frey's book, released this week.
If it's half as good as USA Network's Scott Peterson movie, I'm there!

Posted by fad at 2:16pm

Montagnard

Oh yes, the History Channel has their French Revolution special coming up in a week. Time to brush up with some of my books and notes, especially if the special has the stink of Schama on it.

I wonder how many different recreations with illfitted men in ilfitting costumes they'll have? Usually, it's about four that they repeat over and over again. They might splurge for five, though (a shot of someone putting their head in a guillotine will be seen at least 6 times). At least we can be sure of more than one involving shots of hupped up aristocratess tits.

One other fun game of the specials they have produced in the last year and a half is watching the various experts to see which ones can't help spluddling out some contemporary political commentary during their segments. Some guy on the Ben Franklin special mentioned Halliburton at least twice.

Posted by fad at 1:34pm

Locked Away Would Be Nice

Sweet! Finally, after years of waiting it's available.
The company that owns Biosphere 2 Center, 3.1 glass-enclosed acres designed to simulate the Earth's environment, has put the site up for sale.
I'm going to buy it, then I'm going to get Pauly Shore to come over and tell him he sucks.

Posted by fad at 11:03am

My Apologies For The Poorness Of This Joke

"Oregon revisits Gorge goat plan"

Brave folks. I know I have haven't had the courage to revisit my goat plan for a few years now.

Posted by fad at 10:41am

Probably Made In China, Too

Proof that the Cassini "mission" to Saturn is completely fake. Look at that picture. They try to claim a "linear ridge" that amazingly "marks the equator quite closely" runs 'round this "moon". I think we all know that's just the seam where the two plastic halves meet.

Posted by fad at 10:10am

S'mores Flavored Schnapps

It's about time this started happening.
The Library of Congress is posting 2,240 maps and charts and 76 atlases and sketchbooks, while The Virginia Historical Society and the Library of Virginia are adding about 600 items. Much of the collection is online now; the rest will be by the spring.
It is 2005, after all.

Posted by fad at 10:04am

So Many Choices

From the story of the four firings over CBS' airing of the forged memos, comes this quote from CBS head Les Moonves:
Still, "the bottom line is that much of the September 8th broadcast was wrong, incomplete or unfair,"
So, we can only pick one?

Posted by fad at 9:52am

Dispatch From The Jesusland Underground II

This nonsense popped over the weekend. So this isn't timely at all, which is why it's buried in the extended section.

Posted by fad at 6:33am

January 9th, 2005

Packers

Welp, just about exactly what I predicted.

Posted by fad at 7:02pm

Comments Again

I'm still seeing some odd things with the comments. Anyone still having trouble? Well, besides, "Yeah, the posts I comment on keep disappearing." If anyone is, let me know. Obviously through email since, if you're having trouble, you can't leave a comment.

Posted by fad at 11:54am

World Peace Avoided

Yesterday, at Best Buy, I was confronted by an especially clingy worker drone who refused to accept that I didn't need his help to find something. The conversation eventually ended like this.

"Seriously, anything you are looking for? I can help you find anything."

"Ok, I am looking for world peace."

"Uh, well, that's easy. First thing you do is go to a little place in New York called the United Nations..."

"Oh! So that I can send out peace keepers to rape the locals and set up exploitive sex-rings?"

"Um...I guess....but..."

"I think I'll pass."

Posted by fad at 9:43am