February 20th, 2004
Posted by fad at 5:00pm
Well, the competition for Biggest Ego in a Presidential Candidate is over.
Ralph Nader, the consumer advocate who ran for president in 2000 as a Green Party candidate, will enter the 2004 race for the White House as an independent candidate, advisers told Fox News on Friday.Oh boy, another millionaire hatin' millionaire fightin' for the pipples! Meanwhile shitty cars all across the country will be examined carefully to find that one spot that doesn't yet contain a bumper sticker or "mobile community educational and advisement pamphlet".
I'll start planning the protests over him not being included in the debates. Someone bring dip.
Posted by fad at 2:47pm
I don't like fish except for certain types in sushi. Yes, I know, that doesn't make sense. Anyway, here's your wacky Friday Fish Ftale.
Stig Skaar and his family in western Norway found a slightly dented but intact Coca-Cola can inside the stomach of the fish, media reported Friday.Wacky!
For example, cods in Norwegian waters have swallowed an 11-pound otter and six frozen hamburger patties, the paper said.Now fish cooked with hamburger patties inside might interest me.
Posted by fad at 2:07pm
Well, you just have to link a story with a picture of Animal in it.
Drumming sessions at work could help employees defend themselves from stress and lower staff turnover, according to a new study from America.I wonder if they are being a little too specific and discounting the simple joy of beating on things and creating a great racket. Hopefully they won't suggest getting a bunch of bongos and sitting in a circle in which people mindlessly twirl.
[...]
Immediately after the sessions were completed, the staff were said to show a 46% improvement in mood.
And six weeks after the sessions ended the same people showed a more than 62% improvement in mood, the report added, suggesting that the emotional boost can continue long after the music has ended.
Posted by fad at 1:04pm
Sing it with me!
"One two three four five,
six seven eight nine ten,
eleven tweh-eh-eh-eh-elve!"
Posted by fad at 10:33am
Since this has been a grand week of hate-me, I thought I'd list some more of my deficiencies, this time in terms of Science Fiction writing.
- I've never read any Asimov except one book on math when I was 11.
- I've never read a single word of Heinlein. Well, I mean, I've read words he used, obviously. There are only so many. But you know what I mean.
- Ditto Arthur C. Clarke
- I didn't read any of the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" books until late last year.
- I like Bradbury, at least! Some of the opening imagery of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" became more perfect after I lived in Wisconsin an hour or so out of Chicago.
- Um....I like pie.
Thus concludes that. Tune in next time when I reveal that I never found "Family Guy" to be anything more than very mildly amusing and that I've never heard an entire Beatles, Zeppelin or Floyd album.
Posted by fad at 9:32am
Dissent....not so much crushed, but neatly tucked away.
Attorneys are challenging a preliminary security plan for this summer's Democratic National Convention that would limit protesters to a small patch of land virtually out of sight of the convention hall.This is going to turn into one of those "how many angry hippies can dance on the cap of a pachuli bottle" questions.
Posted by fad at 9:22am
I took a creative writing course in college for exactly one hour. The first sign of trouble was that we had to arrange the desks in a big circle. This is not too uncommon for discussion based classes, but the topper reason here was that we needed to be able to look at each other as we wrote and read so that the soul was more open to everyone.
The professor began introducing the course to us. She informed us that in this class we were to bare ourselves completely with each other. She promised us that most of us would cry; that was expected. As I looked around the room, I saw shining eyes already. A group therapy session with occasional writing was apparently what everyone else had signed up for. I must not have read the course description properly. At one point, I swear she was about to tell us to all link hands around the sacred circle.
Going around the room, we had to introduce ourselves and use a fancy-ass word to describe ourselves, then describe the person opposite us. I can see somewhat the usefulness of this, but the grotesque competitiveness to use the most purple word possible confirmed my belief that modern writing has become little more than vocabularist masturbation. Of course making up words like "vocabularist" shatters my attempts at superiority.
The class ended with the professor reading one of her poems to us. It involved the bleating of sheep as they were devoured by wolves and the sounds of the slaughter of cattle. Somehow an empty barn stepped in there too. It ended with her suddenly telling her lover she was bored, and he should have his orgasm already. Now, for all I know it was a fine poem. Poetry is little more than a meaningless twiddle of cleverly arranged words to me. I can read what is supposed to be some fantastic poem and not be able to see any difference between it and the latest metered angst on some teen's blog. It's just some weird mental block I have. I know from the laughs and applause from my classmates, they at least thought it was excellent.
I had that class dropped and European revolutions class picked up within 10 minutes. Maybe I should have stuck it out, but time has proven it would have been a waste of time.
Posted by fad at 9:14am
Pessimism rocks! I knew I hated myself for a reason.
Despite their best efforts to think the worst, pessimists are more successful as gamblers and stock market players, according to psychological researchers.Too bad I'm no good at everything.
[...]
After a losing experience, pessimists were 61 percent more likely to remember recent losses and adjust their behavior. Optimists were instead more likely to recall winning, even if the odds were stacked against them.
Though this does remind me of one of my favorite Far Side comics describing the four personality types. When presented with glass with half its volume water and the other half air, the reactions were:
"The glass is half full!"
"The glass is half empty."
"Half full.. no, half empty... no wait..."
"Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!"
Posted by fad at 8:15am
Oh yeah, trackbacks appear to be failing again (maybe due to the system rebuild), so I have removed their tempting presence from the posts. Full refunds will be issued in 6 to 8 weeks.
Posted by fad at 7:27am
Some reporters should stick to their day job while doing their day job.
Other than a reporter's joke about wildflower roots, there was no speculation during the news conference about what the threadlike features could be if they are not fabric.Who is this reporter committing crimes against comedy? I want names!
Posted by fad at 7:17am
Awww...today is Robert "This land is my land, your land's my wife's land" Mugabe's 80th birthday. I wonder if his party will include an opposition party member pinata.
Posted by fad at 7:14am
Let's kick things off with an incredibly boring Friday Five.
When was the last time you...
1. ...went to the doctor?
July 2003
2. ...went to the dentist?
You don't want to know.
3. ...filled your gas tank?
February 2003
4. ...got enough sleep?
Probably not since early 2001.
5. ...backed up your computer?
I never back up my computer. Half the fun of computers is rebuilding them from scratch. Plus I don't have any important files.
Wow, that was stimulating!
Posted by fad at 7:02am
February 19th, 2004
(Via Jackie D)
Posted by fad at 5:05pm
This is beautiful. I love the phrase "divorced marriage counselor".
Posted by fad at 1:58pm
This site might go blank randomly tonight. I'm currently having a fight with myself.
Posted by fad at 1:09pm
I appear to be shedding eyelashes at an alarming rate.
Posted by fad at 12:30pm
A friend of mine has had a lifelong dream of opening a topless baitshop. Similar dreams abound.
The Madison Planning Board tonight takes up a man's application to open a topless coffee shop on Main Street.Waitresses with their tits out is intended to draw business? Shocking. I at first thought it was merely to be a celebration of the female form.
Normand St. Michel says his plan to employ partially nude waitresses is intended to boost the establishment's chances of success.
Posted by fad at 12:27pm
UPDATE: Post that was here was too whiny, stupid and not within the context of the site. I shall endeavor to keep that shit away from here.
Posted by fad at 11:50am
Though not entirely in tune with this story, but Oingo Boingo's "Only A Lad" is playing in my head now.
The 15-year-old admitted he strangled his classmate with his belt in a forest area near Heart Lake Secondary School, then returned to art class before turning himself in to police.What was so terrible that could drive a boy to kill, strangle no less?
Paton told the court the Grade 9 student decided to commit murder because he felt life in "juvey jail" (juvenile detention) would be a "better place to live" than being at home with his strict parents and their rules.Description of the murder sounds almost straight out of the beginning of "Return of the King".
[...]
In the interview, the teen admitted he had "bad grades" and that his parents often "grounded" him and prevented him from watching TV or playing his guitar as punishment for skipping classes and smoking.
On the day of the murder, court was told, the teen, the victim, and another friend went to the wooded area behind their school near the Jim Archdekin Recreation Centre on Conestoga Dr. The teen initially put his belt around his friend's neck and asked him if he "trusted him," court heard. The victim watched and the teen asked if he "trusted him" to do the same thing to him and he agreed.It is quite clear that he chose to act.
The accused admitted he then placed his belt around the boy's neck and began pulling on it "tighter and tighter" until the victim fell to the ground.
At one point, the victim managed to grab hold of the accused. A brief struggle ensued, but the boy let go when the accused told him he would loosen the belt if the victim did so. When he did, the accused admitted he pulled "harder and harder" on the belt until the victim's face "went purple" and his body "went limp" and fell to the ground.
While pulling on the belt, the teen admitted his victim told him that he "couldn't breathe," and that as he pulled "harder and harder" the victim's neck swelled so much that he "couldn't see the belt."
In the videotaped interview, the teen calmly told a Peel police officer that killing his classmate "didn't really bother" him, that the look on his victim's face "was kind of gross" and that he had thought about killing him for "five to six months."Impressive indifference, there.
Posted by fad at 10:57am
More medical good news, this time not involving shoving things up butts.
A quick and easy blood test described this week in The Lancet medical journal could help doctors determine whether antibiotics are necessary for common respiratory infections.I'm one of those annoying people who tries as much as possible to avoid anti-bacterial products and such for the reason stated above. Plus, I admit, having once had a very severe allergic reaction to an antibiotic makes me a bit leery of them. The less need someone can come up with to prescribe them to me, the better.
[...]
Most of the time, these infections are caused by a virus, not bacteria. Experts say antibiotics are not only useless against viral infections, but they also help bacteria that are present in the body to evolve defenses against drugs.
The test measures blood levels of a chemical marker that is elevated in bacterial infections but not so high when the cause is a virus or something else. Results are available within an hour.
Posted by fad at 10:06am
I have a friend who once stated that without a doubt the greatest villain of the 20th Century was international corporations (which he sums up as just "the Corporation"). I disagreed.
Posted by fad at 9:33am
Hurrah for progress!
A new technique for detecting cancer of the colon is to be tried out on several thousand NHS patients.Upon being asked which method was preferable, patient Charles Bunker had this to say:
They will be given a virtual body scan, instead of the internal examination which is usually necessary to detect any growths.
He said: "Usually you are having a camera put up your backside, and you have got to have a light anaesthetic, whereas what I am doing here is lying on a table for about ten minutes.I'm glad they asked because until I got confirmation from someone, I wasn't going to believe this method was more enjoyable.
"It is much better than the alternative, there is no doubt about that."
Posted by fad at 9:16am
When I think investment advice, I think court jester.
The island nation has for almost two years accused the king's former jester - American national Jesse Bogdonoff - of mismanaging a $26m trust fund.Actually, I don't think of investment advice which means I don't think of court jesters. I pretty much don't think.
Tonga alleged Mr Bogdonoff invested unwisely and took inflated commissions.
Posted by fad at 9:06am
I'll never understand people who use their own email for illicit activity.
Thousands of e-mails, including date requests, were made public Wednesday as the city of Frederick complied with a court order to release police records of a 1999 raid on the Corporate Affair Escort Service.I hope, at least, that many of those were single purpose hotmail or yahoo accounts.
Among the e-mails was a correspondent with a "house.gov" address, indicating a possible connection to the U.S. House of Representatives, seeking employment as an escort. Frederick is about 45 miles from Washington.A bored intern, most likely.
Posted by fad at 8:28am
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer editorial board has quite the unrestrained crush on Howard Dean, still. Does Realdoll make a Dean version?
Posted by fad at 8:22am
Interesting that the latest Backfence column from Lileks would dedicate so much time to Madge, the Palmolive lady the day she died. He acknowledges this in a P.S. at the bottom.
I'd like, therefore, to start a rumor that being mentioned in a Lileks column is a death curse.
Posted by fad at 7:36am
And now, a Thursday (is it Thursday? All systems say yes) ramble.
Tim Blair has some of the unsurprising overreaction to the demise of the Dean campaign. In the comments is quoted the opening of widow-hating lovemachine and cowardly provocateur Ted Rall's column. No link to Rall. I know I should since it's a primary source, but I'd rather sculpt Devil's Tower from my own mashed excrement than link to him.
At least they didn't shoot Howard Dean. Usually, when an American political figure speaks truth to power, he ends up conveniently dead. RFK, Malcolm X, some say Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone: all martyrs to the quaint ideal of telling it as it is as loudly as possible.First proof that Rall is a complete hack is that he used the phrase "speaks truth to power". But you may be wondering why I used "cowardly" to describe him. Notice the formulation "some say ... Paul Wellstone". This is the cowards way to make an accusation without requiring any argument or consequence for yourself. See, he doesn't think so, it's those other people. Must be the "they" everyone talks about. While I don't know if Rall believes that conspiracy, he clearly wants it to be out as much as possible and in a way that doesn't require him to defend it. That's why he brings it up all the time and in that manner.
The general idea that some of these hardcore Dean supporters have to explain his flameout is that the media, to support it's right-wing agenda, conspired against Dean because Republicans and "neocons" feared him. This argument is despite the fact that just about every partisan (in this case meaning party over principle, the type who defend Ann Coulter and her techniques but decry Michael Moore or Ted Rall's, and vice versa) thing I read on the right-wing side was begging for Dean to be the nominee because he was the one who had a shot at the nomination that they least feared. They don't argue against what the other side actually says because they have decided they know in their hearts what the other side really thinks.
And that's one of the things so wearying about trying to pay attention. It's hard to stay ginned up over watching people shout across each other at targets that barely exist. It's like the guy with Tourette's when I was in the 7-11 the other day exclaiming to everyone that he is cool when he wears his pants. People are more interested in what John Kerry said 33 years ago than what he is saying now. Ok, part of that is brought on by himself because he isn't actually saying anything now, just campaign boiled plates. I am just disinclined to care about what someone said years before I was even born. I only care if they still believe it or are too cowardly to repudiate it if need be. There is no crime in changing your mind over time. Most of us call it growing up, something that never really stops.
This is shaping up to be one of the most boring and loud campaigns in years. I think I'll continue to tune most of it out until the conventions. At least at the Republican one we'll get a show with sea turtles and smelly hippies.
Thus concludes the ramble.
(A lot of this inspired by sections of this post at Trying To Grok)
Posted by fad at 6:07am
February 18th, 2004
French doctors were taken aback when they discovered the reason for a patient's sore, swollen belly: He had swallowed around 350 coins -- $650 worth -- along with assorted necklaces and needles.Gah..... Oh, and do they really need the arrows on that picture to point out the coins?
[...]
Still, doctors were awed when they took an X-ray. They discovered an enormous opaque mass in his stomach that turned out to weigh 12 pounds -- as much as some bowling balls. It was so heavy it had forced his stomach down between his hips.
Five days after his arrival, doctors cut him open and removed his badly damaged stomach with its contents. He died 12 days later from complications.
Posted by fad at 5:20pm
You know, I've always considered the oven to be ideal storage space.
The man told Action 2 News he hid three pistols and ammunition in the oven before they left for vacation, thinking a burglar would never look in the stove. They returned from vacation Tuesday and the woman started dinner.Well, you have to admit, his stuff wasn't stolen.
Increasing the chances of a tragedy, the man admits he tried to extinguish the smoking-hot cartridges with a fire extinguisher. The extinguisher was out of date, so it didn't work. So the couple went behind the refrigerator and called 911.
Posted by fad at 3:29pm
Our national nightmare is nearly over. AstroTurf is no more.
Southwest Recreational Industries, which makes AstroTurf and has installed artificial surfaces everywhere from the Louisiana Superdome to Yankee Stadium, has filed for bankruptcy protection and is going out of business.While it sucks that people are now out of work, this stuff truly was woven of strands plucked from Satan's sac. Now to just get rid of domes.
[...]
But SRI's most well-known products, football fields and running tracks, will be discontinued in the next few weeks.
Posted by fad at 3:27pm
One great thing about crazy is that it just keeps giving.
The tobacco farmer who drove his tractor into a pond on the National Mall and caused hours of commuter gridlock apologized in court Wednesday.As today's representative of all of America -- and don't give me any BS about losing the memo --, I hereby forgive him with reservations.
"I do understand that what I did was wrong, and I want to apologize," said Dwight Ware Watson, 51, of Whitakers, N.C., during a brief court appearance in U.S. District Court.
He also told Jackson he planned to run for president on the All America Party ticket, persuading 50 million Americans to vote for him.You get right on that, buddy.
Posted by fad at 1:31pm
Great googly, this is messed up.
A St. Louis area man firebombed the home of his girlfriend, shot the girlfriend's daughter, then shot himself to death early Wednesday.The daughter is alive and should be ok. That's a lot of premeditation, I would think.
Police said the couple had a history of domestic problems.Gee, no shit.
Posted by fad at 1:23pm
There are so many things wrong here.
Sherman Hemsley of "The Jeffersons" fame is lending his voice to the title character in Fox's updated version of "Mister Ed."Not to get too bogged down in the trees in this section of Clusterfuck Forest, but Sherman Hemsley* as the horse?
Hemsley joins David Alan Basche, who was previously tapped to play Wilbur Post, and Sherilyn Fenn, tapped as Wilbur's wife.Sherilyn Fenn. I think the heat from her "Twin Peaks" days has officially dissipated to near absolute zero. Oh well. At least she was naked a lot for a stretch there.
*When much younger, one of my cousins was convinced that my dad looked exactly like Sherman Hemsley.
Posted by fad at 9:53am
Senate candidate John Borling (R - "Obey me. It's fun!") likes the idea of young men belonging to the state.
U.S. Senate candidate John Borling called Tuesday for a return to a kind of military draft"Service Over Self" Now that's a creepy name for a conscription advocacy group.
[...]
Borling, who is head of an organization called SOS America -- Service Over Self -- that advocates a year of military service for men, suggested these one-year conscripts could serve in a support role or fill non-combat jobs to free up regular military.
"It'll be one of the greatest experiences of your life,'' said Borling, a retired Air Force general.Reminds me of that "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" when Zorak tried to convince Metallica to jump out of the airlock. When asked what would happen, he responded, "You'll explode. C'mon. It's fun."
Posted by fad at 8:36am
I don't look forward to all the bad potential "you're soaking in it" jokes this news may bring.
Posted by fad at 8:22am
It's all a cover up, see. They don't want us to know that with all this messing around with the human genome and cloning and nanoo-nanoo technology, they created living trucks that bleed.
A truck carrying raspberry syrup to a jam factory sprang a leak that left a 25-mile sticky trail on a highway, German police said on Tuesday.LIES!
As I too often tell, the truck I most feared springing a leak while I was following it was a tanker labeled "Liquid Fish Product".
Posted by fad at 7:27am
Here's your business buzzword update for today: The terms "downsizing", "rightsizing" and "layoffs" are no longer to be used. The proper term is "synergizing the workforce".
No, I haven't been "synergized" yet, but that's the term they are bandying about due to a recent aquisition.
Posted by fad at 6:25am
February 17th, 2004
Yup, just checked the listings. It's a Sid & Marty Krofft night. Thankfully I didn't bump into the Bugaloos or I'd never be able to sleep.
Posted by fad at 9:18pm
Ah, college.
Two recent classes at Iowa State University have been interrupted by a man who flashed students and then ran.Flashing in Iowa in February takes a special kind of courage. All we got at my school was some guy streaking across the field when they were showing "Pulp Fiction" on a big sheet on the Rugby field (where a year later "Material Issue" played just before their singer's suicide. Mankato: Where dreams are made). Rumor had it some chick was supposed to streak with him, but bailed on him.
Witnesses say a man wearing nothing but a trench coat, a Richard Nixon mask and tennis shoes entered a class auditorium last week just as a meteorology exam began.
They say the man opened his trench coat, danced around and ran from one door to the other while yelling.
Posted by fad at 5:48pm
Admit it. You've always wanted to do something like this.
Amateur meteorite hunters successfully dropped a bowling ball out of the sky Friday in the first of a series of experiments they hope will help them identify meteorite craters in the Utah desert.Though I'd prefer to drop the severed heads of mine enemies.
Two researchers hurled a 14-pound, red-swirl bowling ball out the window of a rented Cessna light plane from 820 feet above the desert near Grantsville.
The plan is to keep dropping objects, maybe rocks and iron or slag that more closely simulate meteorites.Dropping shit for science. God bless 'em. I hope they do a tv next. Or a cat*.
*I don't really mean that.**
**Ok, I do.
Posted by fad at 3:44pm
Well. This is less important now.
A judge ruled Tuesday that neither former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean nor the secretary of state had authority to agree to a blanket seal covering 145 boxes of records from his 11 years as governor.Going through 600,000 documents one by one? That's a rather annoying game of 52 pickup.
Superior Court Judge Alan W. Cook said Dean and the state must identify the roughly 600,000 sealed documents and describe why each of them is protected by executive privilege.
Posted by fad at 1:02pm
I thought of this a few days ago, but haven't found a chance to use it. The same thing happened with the line, "I'd like to put the lotion in her basket". I think I need to create a category for punchlines in search of a joke.
"the version of Star Wars wherein Han goes to the UN to get authorization to shoot Greedo after Greedo has first proved to be an imminent threat by shooting a badly digitally-inserted weapon probably obtained from Niger."Hmmm...upon further review, that's actually not that funny. Pretty lame really, and certainly not that original. Oh well, far be it from me to hide my crapulance from you.
Yes, my self-hatred is starting to approach degrees in which I feel the need to fisk myself publicly. It's not as fun -- or gross -- as it sounds.
Posted by fad at 11:41am
Ah, a fine mess of pork wrapped in pork.
The congressional negotiators recommended $47.8 million for research into high-temperature, superconducting cables and generation equipment.Which, you'll note, is nearly $58 million instead of the nearly $48 first listed. I'm sure a correction will eventually go out to clarify. Let's look at some of these projects.
But the Energy Department's Office of Electricity Transmission and Distribution said it will only be able to spend $32 million because it is stuck with $26 million in congressional projects it doesn't want.
Asked to explain the objective of the $300,000 Georgia Institute of Technology project on the use of recycled carpet as fuel for kilns, Glotfelty responded, "I don't know." More importantly, he said it had no connection to his office.Hey, no cost is too much when the American kilning industry is under threat from all them dirty foreigners.
$2 million for the PowerGrid simulator at Drexel University in Philadelphia and the New Jersey Institute of Technology in Newark. The project finished last in a competitive review by experts, Glotfelty said.Well then that just means it needs the money the most!
$300,000 for research on advanced ceramic engines and materials for energy applications. The project has no connection to the electrical transmission office, the director said.What the hey, it's only money.
Posted by fad at 10:46am
In your batshit report comes tales of the official birthday celebrations for Kim Jong Il.
The 62nd birthday of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Il, was marked Monday by tributes referring to him as ''the sun of the 21st century."Plus he was awarded "Most fucked up hair" by the Benevolent Association of Tyrants, Shitheads, Hogfuckers and International Toedicks for the 10th time in 11 years. His streak was only broken by a highly suspect win by Arafat in 1997, but Jimmy Carter, who monitored the voting, said it was legit. And when BATSHIT looks for legitimacy, it looks to Jimmy Carter.
The agency added: "Preparatory committees were formed in over 50 countries of the world to celebrate February 16 and greet the sun of the 21st century. Six months or one year were set as celebration periods, unprecedented in history."So that's why I was told to blow up all those balloons. Man, I wanted Cake Committee.
The comments were as gushing as ever for Kim, who is described as a jet fighter pilot, an opera writer and as someone who shot 11 holes-in-one in his first try at golf.Plus he once caught a fish so big it swallowed the world until he gutted it from the inside to save us all.
Posted by fad at 9:38am
Yeah, I think it's time to get my eyes checked. When I read this headline:
"Many preschool slots could go to Latinos"
I read "slots" as "sluts" and was very confused.
Posted by fad at 9:24am
There are moments in which a serious discussion goes on about something I can't believe such a serious discussion is going on. I used to call these "Emperor's New Clothes" moments until I realized that, like with just about everything else, I was wrong. That implies that everyone involved save the "emperor" knows it is ridiculous and is just afraid to say so. Then I tried "Forest for the Trees" moments, but that too was wrong because that requires there be a forest in the first place. I guess I'm stuck with "People wasting time and my money on unnecessary crap, and I'm sick of it" moments. It's less poetic, but I don't understand poetry anyway.
The government's Food Guide Pyramid cannot cover everyone, so federal dietary planners want people to build their own version.I can't believe how much time and money is spent debating that goddamned pyramid as if it is the Obi-Wanish only hope to our fatassed Leias. And notice the belief that government planning shouldn't stop because it is too centralized, but instead that Technology! will help us plan better! Yes, I know they don't enforce these plans on us, yet. Even more reason to stop.
As federal officials and scientific advisers update the government's dietary guidance, including the pyramid, they plan to work the Web site into the update. Hentges said the aim is to custom-fit guidance on food and physical activity.You can now enter the details of your life into a government system! Whee!
The Interactive Healthy Eating Index offers such guidance in fine detail. For instance, entering coffee at the site produces a menu of 57 choices including coffee, ground, and coffee, Cuban, sweetened espresso as well as Little Debbie Apple Streusel Coffee Cake.
The index ties into federal food guides, comparing a specific food item or a day's dining with what the pyramid recommends. It also rates how successful the user is in meeting the healthy eating recommendations.Failure to achieve goals may result in a visit from Ashcroft. It's in the PATRIOT Act, people!
The government has increased its emphasis on exercise, but the addition of physical activity to the food mix will be a big change. Two members of an advisory committee working on revising the dietary guidelines said the result will bring more balance to the federal focus on calories.Just like Anakin brings balance and woodenness to the Force. I thought I had been destined for that, but those midichlorians I felt crawling all over me were just a side effect of that bathtub gin. I knew I should have actually used the bathtub.
How the new guidelines will look is uncertain. One proposal calls for 12 different levels of recommended calories. That may be too complicated for what is supposed to be an easy-to-grasp graphic, which is supposed to be released in the winter of 2005.If it ain't a piktur, I cain't understands nothin! Don't you be coming at me with your fancy, snake-oil "words" you pissers! And, yes, they are spending another whole year just deciding what to do.
Posted by fad at 8:43am
After Harold Stassen died, I wondered if anyone would pick up his mantle. I think Howard Dean might be our man.
Democratic front-runner John Kerry looked to Wisconsin on Tuesday for a victory to snuff out the struggling campaign of Howard Dean, who denied his organization was in turmoil and that a loss would end his bid for the nomination.Though the way many Dean supporters go, he has a good chance of turning into a Larouche.
[...]
While he was generally upbeat, Dean's future was also in doubt. Aides described him as torn between reaching a pragmatic conclusion that the campaign is coming to a close, and his emotional attachment to a race in which he's been running for well over a year.
Kucinich, at least, is his own, unique breed. I hope he runs every time from now on.
Posted by fad at 7:41am
UN Envoy issues "scathing report" that I could have written to full UN template from here. Actually, the envoy never got to go to Cuba either, so I'm in nearly as good a position to write this report. Though I have to say as soon as I read the headline to this story, I knew how it was going to go.
Let's see, first, Cuba sucks if you are a dissident. If you didn't know this, then perhaps you need a session with this e-meter I made from a muffin tin and two calves' hearts. Soon you'll be Clear.
Ms Chanet described reports that dissidents were being held in "trying" conditions as "particularly alarming".But, we cannot blame Castro for all the problems. We know who's really at fault here.
More than 70 opponents of veteran leader Fidel Castro were arrested last April and handed lengthy jail terms.
The UN report also attacked the 40-year US trade blockade against Cuba.And then finally they use their favorite distraction these days.
It said it had "disastrous" consequences economically, as well as in the field of social and political rights.
Havana said the UN commission should instead focus on conditions in Guantanamo Bay, the naval base in Cuba where the US imprisons and interrogates detainees from its "war on terror".And don't forget the health care and literacy!
Posted by fad at 7:10am
Oh, that wacky Arafat. Always up to his Arafaty tricks.
Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat is preventing his prime minister from implementing a financial reform that is a key European and American demand, and has become a condition for much-needed financial aid, Cabinet ministers said Tuesday.Financial reform? Gee, why ever would Arafat want to prevent financial reforms? Let's see exactly what goes on now.
Currently, security officers are given lump sums of cash and then distribute the money to their employees.Really? I don't see how....other than in just about every way. Here's the reform idea.
International donors have said the cash distributions are an invitation for corruption.
Qureia's Cabinet approved legislation on Saturday allowing the Palestinian Authority to pay security forces directly into their bank accounts.Direct deposit, they always get what they are owed, or at least it eliminates one layer of corruption.
Arafat was especially angered by the decision to directly transfer salaries to 30,000 national security personnel who are under his authority, the ministers said.Yeah, having the national security people paid by the government rather than by your person can really put another dent in that desire for an iron fist.
Posted by fad at 6:57am
February 16th, 2004
"So I was just up in Canada doing some shows, and now I'm here in the States. One thing about Canada: They *hate* you up there. But here's the best part. They think you care!"
Posted by fad at 10:42pm
Hi,
You might remember me from such sites as the ones that don't suddenly go down for days at a time.
Short story: Our server got cracked over the weekend. We caught the intruder before too much happened, but he had already run his rootkit to screw up our system just enough that we couldn't be 100% certain we got everything. We finally decided to try to back up as much as possible and rebuild. Oh, and fix those couple holes we knew about but were too lazy (and in my case, too cocky) to fix.
Email is only sorta working right now, not that I get much, but if you tried to email during the outage, that's why there was no response or you got a failure message.
In happier news, exactly one month to go!!!!
Buying my plane tickets tonight!
Posted by fad at 6:07pm
February 15th, 2004
UPDATE: Ok, I'm back in, it looks like, but things are still pretty screwed up. Anything could happen.
Posted by fad at 9:34am