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March 11th, 2005

Out

Ok, it's clear I got nothing, so time to call it quits. Have a good weekend.

Posted by fad at 5:02pm

Stupid Site Stuff

Ok, I tried using my real name with the posts instead of "fad" and ended up with a craptacular day of posting. Plus it just didn't look right. So back to "fad" it is.

Posted by fad at 3:29pm

Dijon

"Mustard Gas Destroyer" would be awesome on a resume.
More than 1,600 tons of the country's stockpiled mustard agent has been destroyed to meet the terms of a chemical weapons treaty, an Army spokesman said Friday.
If there were a mustard flavored carbonated beverage, I would probably drink it.

Posted by fad at 2:46pm

After Four Hours Since Last Post This Is All I Can Think Of Typing

Chicken

UPDATE: Ok, and bubble wrap.

Posted by fad at 1:54pm

Solidarity With The Status Quo

The leaders of the future hate entrepreneurship and would rather we all just glare sullenly at economic disparity.
A Harvard University student's fledgling dorm-cleaning business faced the threat of a campus boycott on Thursday after the school's daily newspaper slammed it for dividing students along economic lines.
[...]
"By creating yet another differential between the haves and have-nots on campus, Dormaid threatens our student unity," the Crimson said in an editorial.
They then got together and all those who had more gave of what they had to those who had less so that everything was even. Well, didn't they?

Posted by fad at 9:58am

Union Stands For Unions

I love the WEA (Washington Education Assocation, a daughter union of the NEA). I didn't follow it so much this election cycle, but back when I used to live in Washington, it was always fun to watch them flagrantly violate campaign finance and dues allocation laws during elections. Then, once the election was over (and the money they weren't legally allowed to spend had already done whatever good it could do), they'd fess up and pay the big fine.

Remember, it is a union. It's job has nothing to do with education. It's job is to protect the jobs of its members. However, also as a union, it has interest in unionism in general.
Taking a bold political stand, the state teachers' union last week declared the fund off-limits to Wal-Mart purchases.
Solidarity!

Posted by fad at 9:22am

Carnival Of The Me

Well, if it's Friday, that must mean it's time for another edition of the Carnival of the Me. Let's get things started!
Welp, that does it for this week. I'd like to thank me for submitting all these entries. Still haven't determined who will be hosting next week's Carnival, but check this space for updates.

Posted by fad at 8:52am

March 11th

One year ago today in Madrid, 191 civilians just trying to commute to work were murdered. Thousands more injured.

For today, just a year later, the day stands alone without consideration of the election consequences a couple days later. Any mention or whine about it in the comments will be deleted. While the two are linked, jumping right away from the murders to the consequences lays the seed to stop looking at March 11th as a day of horrible murder to instead glance off it straight to later decisions. This is much the same how those who hate the wars and administration so much they can only see September 11th as the day America went nuts (such as the Libertarian Party (or maybe just its presidential candidate) which picked Sept. 11th last year to hold a meeting/rally to point out all those killed around the world due to US foreign policy) rather than pausing to remember the murdered and even more how many were intended to be murdered. This thinking makes it dangerously easy to start blaming the victims in some way.

We often can't quite fully grasp murder on these scales. I think most of you might have seen Eddie Izzard's routine about how reaction to murder goes from definable outrage at one or two or three killed, but goes to an odd confused incomprehension at the higher end. It is often some small detail that slices through that. On September 11th, for me, it was hearing about the phone messages left for loved ones back at home. March 11th's was also with phones, but the opposite direction. People near the scene reported that from the bodybags of the murdered came a steady stream of cell phone rings. People were desperately trying to reach their loved one. Then, as someone pointed out when I first mentioned this detail last year, perhaps after hope was given up, they were after one last chance, thanks to the outgoing message, to hear that person's voice.

Posted by fad at 6:34am

March 10th, 2005

A 'CSI' Surprise

I never thought I'd be sitting around watching TeeVee and suddenly hear New Order's "Elegia" (from "Low Life") pop on.

Posted by fad at 8:24pm

I Fear This

I wonder if they can keep up the incredible streak of fine movies based off Dr. Seuss characters.
Just like the charming elephant Horton from Dr. Seuss' beloved books, 20th Century Fox Animation had to fight for its beliefs.

The company, along with Blue Sky Studios finally landed the rights to create a CG-animated film adaptation of the author's "Horton Hears a Who!," according to The Hollywood Reporter.
They also have the rights to "Horton Hatches an Egg".

Posted by fad at 4:37pm

Peppermint Chemtrails

Yeah, right. Like we're dumb enough to fall for such an obvious cover-up.
A stenographer for the U.S. Congress generated alarming headlines in the Sudanese press this week by giving the mistaken impression the United States conducted nuclear tests in the African country in 1962 and 1970.

The Sudanese government asked the United States for an explanation and began its own investigations into a Web site report that a subcommittee of the U.S. House of Representatives Armed Services Committee had talked about the tests in Sudan.

But Foreign Minister Mustafa Osman Ismail, who had summoned the U.S. charge d'affaires on hearing the news, said Thursday it turned out that the word Sudan was merely a typing error for Sedan, the name of a nuclear test site in Nevada.
[...]
A U.S. embassy official in Khartoum said a statement had been issued affirming no tests were made in Sudan, but did not say how the mistake had happened.
I don't believe it for one second, and neither should you.

Posted by fad at 3:54pm

Hans Brix

Phew! The glorious day in which all terrorism ceases is in sight!
Secretary-General Kofi Annan called Thursday for a world treaty on terrorism that would outlaw attacks targeting civilians and establish a framework for a collective response to the global threat.
A treaty! Thank you, Kofi. Thank you! Soon all will fear the threat of a sharply worded resolution and tremble. Unfortunately, there are some nuances to be worked out.
World leaders and officials have had deep disagreements over whether resisters to alleged oppression - for example, Palestinian suicide bombers attacking Israeli targets - are terrorists or freedom fighters; and whether states that use what they think is legitimate force might be branded terrorists.
Good thing they only go after "targets". All I know is that once this meaningless paper is banged out, there's going to be a bitching buffet.

Posted by fad at 3:37pm

Investigate This

I say we finally break down and create the cabinet level Department of For The Children™ which will include the federal sports drug testing department.
"Our elite athletic organizations, both professional and amateur, should establish uniform, world-class, drug-testing standards that are as consistent and robust as our criminal laws in this area," said Rep. Cliff Stearns, R-Fla. "Nothing less should be tolerated."
Or at least create a division within Homeland Security. It's THAT IMPORTANT, PEOPLE! The continued partial privitization of sports is a national scandal up there with even considering partial privitization of social security.
"With Babe Ruth, people didn't worry about him taking steroids. They worried him eating another hot dog," Barton said.
Nicely working out the worst, most overused cliche in this entire story. Does Mr. Barton (R - If It Isn't My Damn Business, I'll Make It My Damn Business) respond to every "Working hard?" with a hearty "Hardly workin'!"
Stanley Brand, a lawyer for the commissioner's office, said the committee had no jurisdiction, was trying to violate baseball's first amendment privacy rights, and was attempting to "satisfy their prurient interest into who may and may not have engaged in this activity."

Reacting to Brand's comments, committee spokesman David Marin said: "Mr. Brand has his facts wrong. He failed to recognize that House rules give this committee the authority to investigate any matter at any time, and we are authorized to request or compel testimony and document production related to any investigation. It's a shame that Major League Baseball has resorted to hiding behind 'legalese' - and inaccurate 'legalese' at that."
"We are the law! Obey! OBEY!"

Posted by fad at 12:00pm

Memory Sparked

"Zoo celebrates birth of flying squirrel"

Which is all fine and good, but what I really want to know is: Did any of you ever read a book as a kid about a flying squirrel who was framed in a crime and had to bust out of the forest's prison to go clear his name or something? Anyone know the title of that?

Posted by fad at 10:59am

Release Brand Reflects The Most Thetans

Adjust your tinfoil and breathe deep the chemtrails, science is out to settle it once and for all.
A European spacecraft now orbiting the Moon could turn out to be a time machine of sorts as it photographs old landing sites of Soviet robotic probes and the areas where American Apollo crews set down and explored.
[...]
Foing told SPACE.com that the SMART-1 orbiter circling the Moon has already covered the Apollo 11, 16, 17 landing sites, as well as spots where the former Soviet Union's Luna 16 and Luna 20 automated vehicles plopped down. The images have not yet been released.

Given SMART-1's initial high orbit, however, it may prove difficult to see artifacts, Foing explained.
Of course it will. And even if it proves once and for all the LIE of the "moonlanding", we all know the neocon conspiracy won't let THE TRUTH get out. Expect this craft and all its data to have a little "accident" in the next couple of days. All PROOF may be lost unless we can get Sandy Berger in there to stuff a few disks and photos into his shorts.

Posted by fad at 7:46am

Quite Possibly My Worst Joke

More astronomy? Ok, but only because you insisted.
[Jupiter] reflects solar activity, scientists have learned. And when Jupiter is on the other side of the solar system, it can act as a mirror for flare-ups from the back side of the Sun.
So basically the galaxy is just a giant game of Pong.
"We found that Jupiter's day-to-day disk X-rays were synchronized with the Sun's emissions,"
Well after working together for 4.5 billion years or so, it's no surprise that their emissions have synchronized.

Posted by fad at 7:40am

Actually I Think These Scale Thingies Are Somewhat Silly

What the heck, another astronomy post.
The vast distances in our Solar System are difficult to comprehend - so the SpacedOut project intends to bring the scale down to Earth - or rather the UK.

The project opens from Friday for the start of National Science Week.

Its sculptures representing different space objects will stretch from the Shetland Islands to Cornwall.

"It incorporates models that represent the Sun, the planets, Halley's comet and numerous asteroids," said project director Nigel Marshall.
And since it comes quite close to Derbyshire, there will be no homosexual objects, and all will be required to remember that no matter how much you try to modernize them, all the little brown objects will still remain merely "natives".

Posted by fad at 6:35am

But No Hot Grits

One of the coolest things, at least for a formerly astronomy obsessed kid, I ever got to see was that big ole meteor crater out in Arizona.
Most researchers agree that the iron projectile that collided with the top of the Earth's atmosphere was about 40m across, and past estimates of the speed at which the mass was travelling when it smacked the ground range from 9.4 to 20km/s - with the faster figures recently considered more likely.

But Melosh and Collins have now used a new, simple model to show the original body slowed up enormously on hitting the atmosphere, and almost certainly broke up into a pancake-shaped cloud of clustered fragments.
[...]
It was this smaller swarm or fragment that dug out the hole when it hit the ground at the relatively gentler pace of 11km/s.
[...]
It still leads to a violent event, however - releasing the equivalent force of 2.5 megatonnes of TNT, or more than 150 Hiroshima atom bombs - but even more energy was dissipated in an atmospheric blast.
Mmmmmm...megaton pancakes.

Posted by fad at 6:30am

Mentioned Just To Bitch Again About Being Janklowed

This is almost the equivalent of your "friends" taking you to one of those stupid restaurants where they make you wear a stupid hat while the waitstaff -- some bored with it, others creepily way too into it -- sing or chant a stupid song.
Former Democratic U.S. Sen. Tom Daschle was devoted to public service and did many important things for his home state of South Dakota, a former Republican governor and Congressman said in a lengthy newspaper ad.

Bill Janklow, who resigned from Congress in his first term last year after being convicted of vehicular manslaughter, did not say what prompted him to place the ad in newspapers across the state last week. However, he and Daschle have long been friends.
Yeah, this is a great time to be beaten with the Janklow stick. One of those really nice gestures from a friend.
Janklow, 65, was convicted in 2003 of second-degree manslaughter for speeding through a stop sign and colliding with a motorcyclist, who died instantly. Janklow spent 100 days in jail. His convictions recently were upheld by the state Supreme Court.
Plus, since he was ruled on duty for his job as a Congressman when he carelessly killed this man (came out later that he had several other driving 'incidents' that the state tucked away for him), any money won by the victims family in lawsuits over this come from federal tax monies. We call that getting Janklowed.

Posted by fad at 6:07am

March 9th, 2005

Living In The Past

There isn't a chance in hell this decision will stand.
A judge threw out a high school student's lawsuit against mandatory summer homework, saying he and his father should have done a little more studying themselves before bringing the case.
[...]
"Had the Larsons done a bit more homework," he wrote, they would had learned that "the people of our state granted to the Legislature ... the power to establish school boards."
Legislative redress? Sorry, don't think so. We don't play that game anymore.

Posted by fad at 5:22pm

They Hate Me

Phone says there is a message, but there is no message. Why would you lie to me, phone? STOP THE LIES!

Posted by fad at 2:52pm

All To A Super Extended Mix Of 'Everyday Is Halloween'

Wow. Perfect literacy, perfect free health care and now this?
Pressure cookers and rice steamers, essential tools of the Cuban kitchen, are the new weapons in Fidel Castro's latest battle to reassert control over the nation's economy.
Paradise just got more paradisial.
During a 5 1/2-hour speech broadcast on state TV, Castro said 100,000 pressure cookers would be made available each month - an announcement that underscored the communist country's continued retreat toward greater political and economic centralism.
The pressure cookers are so powerful, they condensed a usual 8 hour Castro speech down to a mere 5.5 hours.
But Cuba is [...] "beginning to put itself on the map of this chaotic and hopeless world," Castro told the women leaders.
He then revealed his new look of heavy black eyeliner and black, velvet blouses and read a poem about pain.

Posted by fad at 2:17pm

ALL HAIL THE HYPNO DOG

Posted by fad at 1:05pm

Quotey Fingers

Good thing I have ACLU on the speed dial. We're going to sue to make sure lasers aren't used by any government institution ever again.
Charles Townes, co-inventor of the laser and a Nobel Prize-winner in physics, was named Wednesday as the recipient of a religion award billed as the world's richest annual prize.
[...]
He has compared his flash 1951 discovery of maser principles, while sitting on park bench in Washington, D.C., with the revelations depicted in the Bible.
I will not allow the continued use of this Bible thumper's invention to send an oppressive signal by governments that you must worship the Bible in order to be part of public life. The psychic pain has already damaged too many. From now on, whenever I see a laser I will only think "oppression".

Posted by fad at 10:33am

I Apologize For The Term 'Vampiracy'

In these times of crisis over smoking -- both by those tricked all these years by big tobacco into thinking cigarettes caused puppies and fields of daffodils to grow in their lungs as well as its more deadly twin, second-hand smoke which attacks the nights like a whispy ninja -- obesity, pollution and ever increasing life expectancy it's well beyond time we started subsidizing the funny.
Stress caused blood flow to slow by around 35%, but laughter increased it by around 22%, they told the American College of Cardiology.
[...]
"At the very least, laughter offsets the impact of mental stress, which is harmful to the endothelium."

He added: "Thirty minutes of exercise three times a week, and 15 minutes of laughter on a daily basis is probably good for the vascular system."
Especially considering the cost to themselves. Take a sample of funny people, and you'll find a majority of them are miserable bastards. While they're helping your blood flow, you're taking their life from them. In fact, every time you laugh it is like some sort of endothelium vampiracy. You should be ashamed.

Posted by fad at 10:09am

Thankfully The Victims Weren't Hurt

I debated on posting about this for a bit, but the details are just too odd to ignore. A couple people say they stepped out of their apartment for a couple minutes at around 2am. When they got back they found a guy with a knife in their apartment.
He tied both of them with cords cut from computers and kept them captive while he watched pornography on their television.
Did they just have big stacks labeled "PORNO!" around? Did he just know where to look? Or was it like with a friend's room back in college and he just played the odds by hitting "play" on the VCR/DVD and lo! thar was porn!
One of the victims managed to get free and struck the intruder with a large candelabrum. The two fought, and the intruder fled.
This is a very interesting apartment that can be found abandoned for a few minutes in the middle of the night and has readily available porn and large candelabrum.

Posted by fad at 9:19am

Suicide Watch Reprieve

The Final Four ... oops, maybe not allowed to type that out... is here in St. Louis this year. The NCAA, and its desire for corporate sponsorships, want to make sure local business don't water down the brand.
The Downtown St. Louis Partnernship has been getting the word out to downtown businesses about the do's and don'ts on advertising and promotions, all the way down to the proper slogans on napkins and cups. With all the money that corporate sponsors drop on the tournament, the National Collegiate Athletic Association is one serious bunch about guarding trademarks.
So these clever wordsmiths fired up their infinitive forges, grabbed the tongs of metonymy, put on the twin gloves simile and metaphor and prepared the quenching oils of synecdoche to come up with this.
Thus the phrase, "big basketball event." It's in one of the approved slogans being distributed downtown.
Soon it will be, "Happenings which may or may not be occurring."
the blunt-talking owner of the Two Cents Plain sandwich shop at 1114 Olive Street, said the promoters "were full of (it). They can't tell us what to do." Carl said when he got his copy of the rules, he "just turned it over and used it for scratch paper."
Nice sammich shop you got there. Be a shame if it got.....NCAAd*

*Which means a lengthy investigation involving lots of chartered flights and bitchin' meals after which punishments are laid down affecting those not actually involved in the situation because they are long gong by then.

Posted by fad at 6:50am

He's The One Who Sucks

As senatorial grandstanding and bullying during confirmation hearings are incredibly boring, stupid and childish, in order to spice things up I hereby pledge a shiny $5 to the campaign fund of the first senator to use the phrase "no talent assclown" during the Bolton hearings.

Posted by fad at 6:35am

March 8th, 2005

I Can See Across The Dimensions

Knowing there was unnamed glacier out there was keeping up at nights and causing strange growths on my face. Now perhaps things can settle back down.
The Washington State Board on Geographic Names unanimously chose Tulutson, the Cowlitz Indian word for ice, last week over three other finalist names — Crater, Spirit and Tamanawas, a loose tribal translation meaning "spiritual guidance."
No naming of something using an Indian word can go without accompanying deep thought.
"This is something new to look at," Wilson said. "It's building, it's developing. It's Tulutson. It's ice."
Dude. And I mean dude.

Posted by fad at 2:56pm

Dude, It's Vampire, Not Vampyre

Having played, officiated, coached and watched sports for many years, I've never heard of something like this.
A state panel this week is expected to investigate a high school football coach who acknowledged licking one of his player's cuts.
It's not *quite* as creepy as it sounds, but still, not something I could imagine during my experiences.
According to the police report, a parent reported in August that the coach had "licked an open wound on the knee" of one student athlete and had similarly licked others.

The student whose knee was licked told police the incident happened after Reed had given team members a pep talk about a coach licking and healing the wounds of injured players so they could get back in the game.

Other team members urged Reed to do the same for a bleeding scab on a player's knee. Reed asked permission, then knelt down and licked it. An athlete who witnessed the incident said Reed seemed to be "joking around" and the licked athlete was not offended.

Reed told the authorities that he licked that player's knee and had possibly done the same for other athletes, but could not recall.
You know, I think I'd remember licking players' scabs and cuts. That's not something that would slip away from my mind.

Posted by fad at 2:02pm

Puzzle

If you were made out of cabbage, how many twinkies do you think you could eat in one sitting?

Posted by fad at 1:00pm

Or Is It A Couch

While Cricket is a mysterious game of tests and ashes and galactic destruction and random sofas named after my current town of residence, I do have to admire these ground rules.
The ground opened in 1847, built around the lime tree. When it was hit by a ball, the batting side scored four runs.
At least they settled it right away. Many days as a kid saw more time arguing ground rules rather than playing whatever game was supposed to be going on.

Posted by fad at 11:43am

Weightlifting

Stupidly I decided to grab a random CD last night, then try to do a post today using each song title as the post title. Hence all the forced posts today, but, oh well. It got me a bit more interested than usual, but I'm glad it's done.

Posted by fad at 8:49am

Leave Me Alone

Hey, a quiet roommate is a good roommate.
Police on Tuesday questioned three siblings after it was discovered they had been living with the decomposed corpse of their father for nearly a decade, an official said.
[...]
[His] three elderly children, all in their 70s or older, told police they thought their father was still alive but that one of them recently had consulted a relative about the possibility that he might be dead, the spokesman said.
I like how they respected his space.

Posted by fad at 8:48am

Country Air

What a waste of a great tourist resource. They could easily have convinced some city-slicker that the smell was a health tonic.
It took nearly four months, but to the relief of neighbors miles around, a burning manure pile has been extinguished.
[...]
"We got far enough through it, that it quit,"
Damn quitting manure fires. If you can't count on them, who can you count on?

Posted by fad at 8:48am

Trouble Sleeping

Turns out being in jail and charged with at least 10 brutal murders can be a major bringdown.
The man accused of being the BTK serial killer has complained about depression
[...]
Along with growing depression, he has complained about sleepless nights, the lawyers said.
Of course the real trick is if he did it, how did he sleep through the night beforehand?

Posted by fad at 8:48am

A Coda

The report is back from CSI: Ancient Egypt are in.
Hawass said the remains of Tutankhamun, who ruled about 3,300 years ago, showed no signs that he had been murdered - dispelling a mystery that has long surrounded the pharaoh's death.
Maybe now his spirit will finally rest and stop butterscotching my nachos all the time. Damn curse.

Posted by fad at 8:48am

It's A Miracle

When angles and timing line up like that.

Posted by fad at 8:47am

Usually

Whenever there's a wacky auction, you always know who's going to win it. I do wonder if these investments in publicity stunt advertising actually do see a return, or if it's all been money pissed away. Either way, I'm still angry they never approached me to be one of those people holding up banners in the endzone during Monday Night Football games. Admittedly, they had no reason whatsoever to approach me, but I'm an angry, bitter man.

Posted by fad at 8:47am

Freetime

Got some time to kill? Why not build your own lasertag system and "kill" your friends instead of that precious, precious time?

Posted by fad at 8:47am

What Women Do To Men

This is not the way to celebrate International Women's Day.
A Tacoma woman put a handgun to a firefighter's head and pulled the trigger several times yesterday as he tried to rescue her from a fire she'd set in her own home, authorities said.

But the gun was empty because the woman had apparently already used the bullets to shoot her boyfriend to death, Tacoma police said.
Or maybe it is. Gender equality does include the universal human condition of violent nutbaggery.

Posted by fad at 8:47am

All The Dark Horses

The two greatest passions of my life when I was younger were astronomy and basketball. So of course I was completely entranced with the movie "Hoosiers" which has it's super special fun time edition DVD release today.

Both passions have waned considerably (almost to nothing; I have no passions anymore), and so has my love of that movie. I won't be buying it, but I might rent it. If for no other reason than to see this one bit of extra footage.
But the very best bonus - if you are a hard-core sports fan - is the actual game between Milan and Muncie Central (now an eight-time state champ), which was filmed by Indiana University's physical education department.
Now that would be something to see. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like anyone will explain why every single American flag in the movie is displayed backwards.

Posted by fad at 8:47am

Got Carried Away

Sure, the main humanities may get all the attention for disconnection and stupidity, but when you want complete vapidity sometimes you have to go to political science.
Bruce Springsteen's blitz of politically charged concerts failed to get Sen. John Kerry elected president, but a New York college professor still believes The Boss can teach the nation's youth a lot about democracy.
[...]
Students studying Springsteen listen to his songs in class, record their impressions in a journal and complete a five-page paper exploring such themes as economic inequality and alienation.
Proving once again that Political Science is a worthless area. Especially since we all know Bon Jovi was the true bard of Jersey workingman's angst. Johnny didn't still work at those docks; he used to work on the docks.

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Posted by fad at 8:47am

Welcome Back

Seems the first time I ever stumbled on Trying to Grok was when her husband was just deployed to Iraq. Today he will be back.

Posted by fad at 8:46am

March 7th, 2005

Occupy Building Left

Now you -- yes, you! -- can spend a couple nights in Elvis' bedroom.
And now you can sleep in Elvis' teenage bedroom.
I just said that!
Presley lived here between 1949 and 1953, when he was attending Humes High School
At only $249.99 a night with a two night minimum (6 night max) it's a steal. How worthwhile is it?
Last month I became one of the first to stay in Apartment 328, and the sensory overload surpassed the night I slept between Duane and Gregg Allman's former bedrooms in the Allman Brothers' "Big House" in Macon, Ga.
Well, I think I know of someone who may differ with that.

Posted by fad at 4:48pm

There Will Always Be Poop

Hey, new parents. The free market is trying to help you out by bringing down the cost of a nanny or governess by breaking down the job to its pieces.
When [a woman] went to baby-sit one of her friend's children back in 2000, she was surprised to discover that the child, then 6, was wearing diapers,
Big deal. Some of us consciously chose to go back to 'em after we realized the bathroom was, like, far.
Soon after, [she] decided to start her own company, Potty Training Services, to help parents get their children through the often-frustrating transition
[...]
[She] charges $350 to $575 a week for her services, or $175 a day if the job takes less than a week.
Until we are finally a truly liberated and progressive country that has licensed government representatives taking care of this and all other unpleasant parts of child rearing.

Posted by fad at 3:06pm

Slash Presidents

Awww...how sweet.
Bush, 80, said Clinton offered ahead of time to give the older former president the bedroom so he could lie flat and avoid paining his body. Clinton, 58, decided to play cards in the other room that night.

The next morning, Bush said he peeked in and saw Clinton sound asleep on the plane's floor.

"We could have switched places, each getting half a night on the bed, but he deferred to me. That was a very courteous thing, very thoughtful, and that meant a great deal to me," Bush said.
On behalf of the American people, thank you for not spooning.

Posted by fad at 12:29pm

Strange Choice

The President of the University of Colorado, a real stand-up cunt, is resigning.
University of Colorado President Elizabeth Hoffman announced Monday that she is resigning amid a football recruiting scandal and a national controversy over an activist professor who had compared victims of the Sept. 11 attacks to a Nazi.
Congratulations to the basketball player not affiliated with any of the programs in controversy for being chosen by the editors to be the photo accompanying the story.

UPDATE: Ok, now they have her picture with the story. Originally they had a shot of a guy from the school's basketball team as the picture. I just found that a very odd decision for some reason.

Posted by fad at 10:39am

I Should Write Scripts

This news could inspire the oldest hack trick in TV mystery shows.
Police in South Australia have reopened a century-old murder investigation after a written confession was discovered.

In the letter, written in 1932 before his own death, local undertaker Gustav Maerschel admits to stabbing a wealthy British man during a heated argument.
[...]
The confession was found hidden behind a mantelpiece during refurbishment work to the house.
I type of those flashback episodes to a past filled with counterparts to all the characters on the show who, though completely different people, end up thrown together and acting just as their "modern" selves do. Heck, I'll write the script for "CSI: 100 Years Or So Ago In Australia". The actors could stretch themselves by attempting accents. That's always good for some entertainment.

Posted by fad at 10:08am

Today's Strangely Pronounced Audio Blogging Word Is

Asparagus

Posted by fad at 7:40am

I Actually Prefer French's Brand Myself

The sauce! We must protect the sauce!
A campaign is under way to secure protected status for Worcestershire Sauce after the Sudan I food scare.

Maker Lea & Perrins hopes to lobby the European Commission on the issue.
[...]
"If the French can protect their champagne, we should be able to protect our sauce.["]
The sauce, she is worth it.

Posted by fad at 7:14am

Protective Fanatics

One thing every sane person learns early on is to not piss off Harry Potter fans.
Microsoft researchers showed off a digital clock they had developed that had a separate hand for each family member. Instead of numbers, the hands pointed to locations, such as home, work and school, and would show where a family member was at any time.

For Harry Potter fans, the setup sounded strikingly similar to a grandfather clock at the Weasley household in J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." On that clock, the names of each family member was engraved on one of nine golden hands, which would point to locations or such words as "lost," "traveling" or "mortal peril."

At the Leaky Cauldron, a Harry Potter enthusiast site, fans howled in protest of what appeared to be a rip-off by Microsoft. Some even suggested that Rowling sue Microsoft.
The only group more frightening are Orlando Bloom fans, but only because the shrieking can cause one's head to explode if one is fortunate. The rest are driven mad by it.

Posted by fad at 6:47am

Angst Listed As If Written By An Angsty 15 Year Old

From this article about the theft of more Edvard Munch art, we learn this about angst.
"The Scream" has become a symbol of angst in a world scarred by horrors including the Holocaust, the atom bomb and terrorism.
How nice and helpful for them to list things to be angsty about, but they left out all the dead sparrows and the severe lack of ponies.

UPDATE: Three of the pieces have been recovered.

Posted by fad at 6:36am

March 6th, 2005

Meaningless Commentary From A Meaningless Life

That commercial for "Finding Nemo On Ice" is going to haunt my dreams. Those costumes are...disturbing. And not in the tingly way.

Posted by fad at 4:49pm

Two Open Letters

To The Clerk At The Video Store,

When I politely tell you that there were playback problems with the DVD I am returning, I do so so that you can fix it or get it out of circulation before one of those scary, yelly assholes gets a hold of it and screams at everyone. Please don't treat me as if I purposely tried to wreck the disc through some sort of weird self-pleasuring ritual.

Sincerely,
fad

To The Fat Woman Who Held Up The Line At The 7-11 While You Ate Your Hot Dog With One Meaty Hand And Dug Slowy Through Your Purse For Change With The Other And Then Thought I Was Rude When I Offered To Pay The Last $0.50,

Bitch.

Sincerely,
fad

Posted by fad at 12:53pm

Yes, I Love Soccer

Holy crap! That's Maradona?

Posted by fad at 12:34pm

A Proper Cull

A friend sent a link to this story, which I'm sure will be all over Fark or something soon. Despite my efforts not to be a Farkblogger, this can't be resisted.
Hunters across the state will be asked to vote next month on whether cats should be hunted.

A La Crosse man who hunts and traps wants to make free-roaming domestic cats an "unprotected species" that could be shot at will by anyone with a small-game license.
Finally.

Posted by fad at 12:11pm

I Want To Be Peter Stepanovich

It used to be Brent Musberger, then Dick Enberg, but these days there is no more annoying sports announcer than Bill Raftery. Actually, most broadcasting now seems to exist purely to punish us for being sports fans.

Yeah, yeah. Bitching about sports announcing is a pretty boring and stupid thing to do, but I was sitting here. It was this post or a long one about the differences between public and personal depravity as sparked by Dostoevsky and stupid movies.

Posted by fad at 11:04am