April 9th, 2004
Posted by fad at 5:17pm
Ah, here's something to pad away from Belgians.
A swimmer off the coast of Maui probably is alive because of Arnold Schwarzenegger.No finer source than "Access Hollywood"! No word on if he groped the guy in the process.
[...]
Schwarzenegger asked if he was OK and the guy said "no."
So, Schwarzenegger grabbed a boogie board. And, here's where all that weight training helped - while he was treading 20-foot deep water, he picked the man up, put him on the board and swam with him to shore.
"Access Hollywood" says Schwarzenegger sat with the man for a while on the beach. Before he left, he told the man to "sit here for another 30 minutes."
Ok, that was piss poor even for my standards. I really need to give myself a talking to after that one. That's Saturday Night Live quality.
Posted by fad at 4:42pm
As this move towards automation of traffic enforcement continues, you'd like to think they would build in some checks.
A Belgian motorist was left stunned after authorities sent him a speeding ticket for travelling in his Mini at three times the speed of sound.Ugh....I can't believe I'm ending the day with another post about Belgians.
Posted by fad at 4:37pm
I am doing some stuff on the server that will hopefully help me get a job. As such, weird things may happen -- strange behavior, odd error messages -- over the next few days.
Posted by fad at 3:29pm
Labeling has gone too far.
A ruling by the Treasury Department's Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau on Thursday made clear that liquor and wine companies that want to provide carb and calorie information on their labels and advertising can do so, just as some beer companies now do.I don't think most drinkers care to know that information.
Posted by fad at 2:44pm
Hmmm...it's worth a shot.
An apologetic Peeping Tom in northern Arkansas left a $20 bill and a note for his victim asking if she would not mind if he peered at her outside her window, police said on Friday.I think I'll try that on my next blind* date.
*In which I hide in a blind outside carefully chosen and researched windows.
Posted by fad at 2:18pm
What funny timing. For months the governor had been holding back $127,000,000 in education funds supposedly because the budget couldn't handle it. The big issue for most of the state in Tuesday's elections were bond issues for the various school districts to cover the losses from cuts that could be filled by these funds. Well, looky what suddenly became available today, just a few days after the votes in which most bond issues passed.
Gov. Bob Holden announced today that he was releasing $127 million in previously withheld funds for public schools and higher education institutions.Friday announcement. Friday, holiday weekend, announcement. Very nicely done.
Posted by fad at 1:54pm
The more this bounced in my head, the more it bothered me.
"Right now, what I would do differently is, I mean, look, I'm not the president, and I didn't create this mess so I don't want to acknowledge a mistake that I haven't made," Mr. Kerry said on Wednesday on CNN.And that is why, as of right now, Mr. Kerry is useless. He is trying to campaign on what he thinks should be, rather than on what is. He, now, at least lately, says the war was a mistake and was wrong. Fine. That doesn't change the fact that it happened. To declare he is not going to think about a plan because he didn't cause the problem is like me saying I'm not going to swerve my car because it's the other guy's fault he's driving the wrong way.
Until Mr. Kerry speaks to reality, unpleasant and messy as it may be, he is worthless. This is not in context of him vs. Bush. This is in context of Kerry vs. the real world.
Posted by fad at 12:06pm
Well, here's a fun coincidence of a Friday Five.
1. What do you do for a living?
As of exactly a week ago, nothing.
2. What do you like most about your job?
The nothing.
3. What do you like least about your job?
That the pay is equivalent to the work.
4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...
I realize at a most inopportune moment that I forgot to get more toilet paper.
5. What other career(s) are you interested in?
Paying ones, professional TV watcher, abattoir designer.
Posted by fad at 11:52am
Bleah. I fucking hate phone interviews. I always get too nervous and forget everything.
Posted by fad at 11:10am
Suits against food companies are just starting, none have been remotely successful, but lawyers for the companies already seem on the defensive. There seems to be a sense of inevitability that they will eventually lose and our food choices will be dictated to us by those who know what's best for us.
Posted by fad at 10:34am
There is a Monty Python routine in which a panel is trying to find a new, more insulting term for Belgians. The eventual winner was "Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards", but I always preferred the beautiful simplicity of one person's suggestion that he can't think of anything worse than 'Belgians'.
A display praising the merits of peacekeeping that cited the killing of native North Americans as the world's worst genocide shouldn't be considered a jab at the United States, Belgian defense officials said Thursday.This is not to defend all actions the US has done towards the native population. Look, however, at what they did not include in their glorious display.
[...]
It included a panel listing North America as the continent of the world's worst genocide with a death toll of 15 million, starting with Christopher Columbus' 1492 arrival in the New World but giving no end date.
[B]ut ignored killings in the Soviet Union under Josef Stalin and Europe's colonial past in Africa, including Belgium's role in the Congo.Ignored, of all things, what was done to the Congo, the place of Heart of Darkness? And those deaths under Stalin weren't genocide. They were just the results of people ignorantly and wilfully fighting the march of history, I guess. And China under Mao didn't even rate being mentioned as a skip.
Posted by fad at 9:10am
Actions like these would be unlikely to gain my sympathy to your cause, but maybe it works differently in France.
Striking power workers switched off street lights and cut electricity to homes Thursday to protest plans to partially privatize public utilities.This may not come up in France, but imagine suddenly cutting the power to a stoplight.
Strikers also cut power to 30,000 homes for 90 minutes in the northern city of Rouen, said the electricity company, known by its initials EDF. In other towns, protesting workers restored power to families that had been cut off for nonpayment of bills and cut supplies to local officials and public buildings.Trying for the Robin Hood/Mafia Don angle, there.
But unions said they did not approve cutting power to homes. They had called for outages to target politicians and government institutions.Just two powerful organizations jerking around the average person.
Posted by fad at 8:57am
April 8th, 2004
Volvo is trying to retain its image as a leader in safety with new technology designed to help drowsy drivers.There are lots of ways to chase away the drowsiness. Practice your lane changes. My favorite is to play Pac-Man, which is driving with the stripes centered on the car. Making the "wahkka wahkka" noise is optional, but it helps too. Sadly, here where the snowplows must run, we don't have bumps or reflectors between the lanes, but in California we called it "driving by braille", a perfect wake up call.
[...]
Because the features are still several years from being offered in cars for sale, Ford was cagey about details for competitive reasons.
Posted by fad at 6:05pm
In order to blind us from the rapistic capitalist system, the cabal of the wealthy once again creates an illusion to support the false reality that they aren't stealing all the money from us, the worker.
Eight people were indicted Thursday on federal charges of running a tax-evasion scheme that used domestic and offshore trusts to help hundreds of wealthy Americans avoid paying $68 million in taxes.I'm not falling for it, though. You know this money never really existed. What we call "money" and "wealth" are just false objects to try to make us think we can gain and achieve. They won't let it happen, but it makes it easier on them if we think it can. One guy got a little too obvious.
In one case, an Aegis client went on a Hawaiian vacation that was used as a tax writeoff because the client was "looking for charities to contribute to," Everson said.I need to try that.
Posted by fad at 5:49pm
Why must they constantly remind me?
Thornton, who has three children from two previous marriages, divorced actress Angelina Jolie in May 2003.The precise moment love was proven to be a lie.
Posted by fad at 2:51pm
Palestinian prime minister mumbles the elections word again. It's been 8 years since the last ones, meaning all terms expired long ago. Look who's being invited to the party.
Palestinian Foreign Minister Nabil Shaath said Palestinians are "enthusiastic" about new elections after the Israelis leave.That'll be a nice peaceful, cooperative government.
"We hope this (withdrawal) will pave the road for a Palestinian general election with participation with Hamas," he told The Associated Press.
Hamas does not accept a Jewish state in the Middle East.Or maybe not. Oh, and we'd better pay for it all too.
In the event of a Gaza withdrawal, "the Americans should be ready with the World Bank and other donors to make massive economic support for the Palestinian Authority," Shaath said. He did not give a sum.Well, of course he didn't. Because that way he can always say it's not enough.
Posted by fad at 2:40pm
My dad had a miniature of the Kensington Runestone in his classroom for years until it was broken in a move. It's one of the classic is-it/isn't-it pieces of history. It claims to tell the story of the killing of Norse explorers in the Minnesota area in 1362. New evidence strengthens the skeptics' case.
The latest in the century-old Minnesota controversy came in documents written in 1885 by an 18-year-old Swedish tailor named Edward Larsson. He sometimes wrote in runes -- an ancient Scandinavian language that differs from the English alphabet.Glad they pointed out that Runes are different from the alphabet. Here's what really caught my attention in the story.
But Larsson's runes were not the usual runes used over the centuries.A secret, tradesman runic code. That'd be fascinating to study. I never knew such a thing was around.
The scholars contend that parts of his documents seem to be written in a secret runic alphabet used by tradesmen in Sweden in the late 1800s
Posted by fad at 12:35pm
A veteran of the Crimean War has passed on.
Timothy the tortoise, thought to be Britain's oldest resident, has died around 160.Brave little turtle
[...]
Before coming to the Courtenays in 1892, Timothy was a ship's mascot. He served on the HMS Queen in 1854 during the the Crimean War, according to naval historian Capt. George Cardew.
Who lived through many battles
Likely unaware.
Posted by fad at 12:20pm
That Troy movie looks like it'll be bloated flaffle, but something from a commercial caught my ear. Did I just hear Brad Pitt speaking with a Faux British accent? Nothing classes up a movie like a bad, femmy, Britishesque accent so popular these days. I guess they figure it worked for Lord of the Rings, so all epics should have it.
UPDATE: Wonder if he'll use that same accent for this?
Posted by fad at 11:01am
Woo! I just found the plot for my bad science fiction story.
An unmanned spacecraft should test ways to deflect a threatening asteroid, two astronauts have told the US government.See, it goes like this. Humanity, in a hubraic attempt to demonstrate it can protect itself from the threats of the heavens, instead deflects the asteroid towards earth. Then apocalyptic destruction, roving bands forming new clans, and lots and lots of repopulating fucking all of which teaches us a warning lesson and lets me write about fucking just like Ken Follett. I think it's a winner!
Rusty Schweickart and Edward Lu said a mission of this type could be launched to an asteroid in 2015.
Posted by fad at 10:28am
Uncle John G. is dying. The last of his generation, he was also the oldest.
John Gabrielle, and much has been made that such a mischievous man was given the name of an angel, was born in what later became, and then unbecame, Yugoslavia. We never knew more than that until the breakup and later wars. My dad asked him once which part the family came from. "Slovenia. We're not fighting anyone. We're the lovers."
Uncle John G. -- the "G." required because my family had a habit of naming every other male child "John" for a stretch, including my dad who is named after John G. -- came to America with his family when he was very young, but he remained bilingual throughout his life, once shocking an exchange student from the region who suddenly found this old man in rural Montana talking to him in his native language.
Growing up, most memories of John G. have him sitting on the edge making smartass, surreal comments. You rarely got a straight answer out of him when a joke or surreal comment meant to confuse would suffice. Kids loved him because he would take their questions and spin fantasies. They ended up being the ones trying to bring him back to reality.
Giving people shit was a long time trait of his. When my grandpa, a shy man by nature, came over to their house for his first dinner when he was courting my grandma, he used his bread to sop up every last bit from his plate. John G. looked at him and said something like, "I don't know what kind of people you think we are, but we do wash dishes here. You don't have to worry about it." Actually, the line was funnier, but I can't remember it now. Scared my grandpa for a while.
Another favorite trick was to poke us in the back of the knee with his cane, or prod someone and then try to look innocent, something he could never achieve, when they looked around. We always thought the cane and his bad limp came with age. Actually, he got both from an accident in his 20s.
John G. was a coal miner in Kline, Montana. Kline, just outside of Roundup, during the heyday of the mine, was one of the wealthiest per-capita places in the country. As was usually the case for towns like that in the West, even well into the 20th Century, it was also one of the most violent. John G. told a story of hearing his little sister, later to become my grandma, screaming and crying. He grabbed the shotgun and ran to front door she had just run through. A fight had spilled into their yard, ending with one man murdering another with an axe. Rushing to get the shotgun was a common thing during those days.
He never acted his age, no matter how much his body tried to tell him he was old. For years he didn't have birthdays. He celebrated the anniversary of his 28th year. Later, when he got into his 80s, he decided it was time to grow up and start celebrating his 36th. But that's the thing. He never grew up. From him we learned that "not growing up" doesn't mean irresponsibility; it means never losing your sense of fun, silliness and mischief just because more years and experience are being tacked on.
So Uncle John G., you will be missed greatly, but yours was a life lived, and lived well. Thank you for never growing up.
Posted by fad at 9:36am
April 7th, 2004
The latest fashion trend to hit the Netherlands is eyeball jewellery.There's a picture, so be warned if eye things get to you.
Dutch eye surgeons have implanted tiny pieces of jewellery in the mucous membranes of the eyes of six women and one man.
Posted by fad at 5:24pm
For the final random anecdote of the day, I present the "I dye my own hair." story. This happened in the summer of 1992. I had just graduated high school and my mom and I were waiting for the house to sell so we could join my dad who was already at his new job in Wisconsin (the house didn't sell for over 8 months on the market). I worked at an office in downtown Redlands, CA. Don't think of that as being impressive. Redlands, at that time and from all reports still, was quite small. The "downtown" was just a strip of old buildings with a small, no-more-than-three-picnic-table park on one corner.
During lunch, I would usually go outside to read at one of the picnic tables. It was just nice to be outside. One day, while reading away, someone came up and sat on the other side of the picnic table. This wasn't unusual, since there were only three. Tables were often shared by a few strangers, so I didn't bother to look up.
"Hi!" said a young woman's voice.
Ok, now I had to look up. Raising my eyes from my book to hers to return the greeting, I paused a second. You know how you can look into certain people's eyes and know instantly they aren't all there? Yeah, she had the look o' crazy. I mumbled a, "Hello", and went back to my book.
A few seconds go by and she suddenly introduces herself. I look up again and quickly say, "Uh, I'm John [my standard fake name. Clever, eh?], nice to meet you." Back to the book, hoping she's done.
"You're very attractive!" To this day she is still the only woman who has ever come up to tell me that. And she was nuts.
"Uh...thank you, uh, very much."
A few more seconds of unnatural pause go by.
"I have a boyfriend!"
"Um. He's a lucky guy."
Ok, it's time for me to get out of here, but before I can:
"I dye my own hair!"
At this, I took a closer look at her. Her hair was indeed dyed. The easiest sign was the inch long roots of dirty blonde which turned into stringy, carrot colored hair. Deciding nice is wiser in this situation, I said, "Hey, very nice job." I usually despise flattery, but when the target is vibing stalker, I take the chicken's course.
Before she can say anything else, I do a fake watch-check and declare myself late for returning to work. She asked, "Oh, where do you work?" I waved vaguely in the opposite direction, rather than the office 15 feet away, "Over there." I took off in that direction, looping around to the other entrance to the office to finish my lunch indoors.
Checking out the window, she was there, at the same table, every day for a few in a row apparently waiting for someone.
To this day, "I dye my own hair!" is the term my friends and I use as shorthand for a random, suddenly blurted out statement.
Posted by fad at 5:23pm
Interesting find in Atlanta.
Spokeswoman Marion Lee said a cleaning crew found a brown paper bag in a men's bathroom in the South Terminal at around 10:45 a.m. A police bomb unit was called, she said.No more details at this time.
An X-ray of the bag revealed it contained a hand grenade with the pin pulled and "attached to something like a mobile radio," Lee said.
Posted by fad at 4:41pm
College papers are often sad to start with. When they start trying to be funny, as most do around April Fool's, they really fall. This year, some really tripped up.
The Gateway, the Nebraska paper, apologized for its four-page edition titled The Ghettoway. One story, with the headline "Gateway cameras stolen during weekend," was written by Ono Udidn. Another fake byline: Mindjo Bidness.Strangely, on a major college campus, there was a reaction to this.
About 75 readers protested Carnegie Mellon's The Natrat - Tartan backward - which included a depiction of female genitalia and poems about rape and mutilation. The school is forming a committee to investigate.The strongest reaction a school has: committee formation. Who the hell thought that poems about rape would fly?
Posted by fad at 4:31pm
Uh. no.
REGULAR doses of worms really do rid people of inflammatory bowel disease. The first trials of the treatment have been a success, and a drinkable concoction containing thousands of pig whipworm eggs could soon be launched in Europe.While something similar made for a fine Futurama episode, I think I'll stick to my maggots and leeches, thank you.
Posted by fad at 4:16pm
I think many of you will remember the story from last year about the parachutes of some marines being tampered with just before they were supposed to do some training. One of the accused has been acquitted.
A military jury Wednesday acquitted a Marine of charges he sabotaged parachutes during a 2002 training jump in which three comrades got hurt. But he was convicted of drug charges.Another marine had pled guilty to the tampering a few months ago.
Posted by fad at 3:01pm
Random fact to go with random anecdote day: Did you know my great-great-grandfather was a Jew?
Posted by fad at 2:40pm
Russia continues her slow process of being forced to face its Soviet past.
One of the world's ghastliest nuclear accidents happened just upwind of here, in a secret atomic city that didn't have a name and never appeared on any maps. An explosion of radioactive sludge sent up a toxic plume that contaminated a quarter-million people.Three "liquidators" who survive, though their bodies and those of their children continue to crumble, have just been granted an $8 a month pension and a free visit to a spa. Sometimes I think people get caught up that just the revolution period itself and Stalin were the really bad ones. It wasn't just the early gulag and famines which killed. This happened in '57, long after Stalin and a year after the Secret Speech.
Communist authorities responded to the accident with a global cover-up and a scorched-earth cleanup. Even as they evacuated entire Russian communities, they were sending 1,500 ethnic Tatar farmers into the hot zones to do the dirty work. Children were pressed into service, too, from fourth-graders on up.
Posted by fad at 2:32pm
Welp, Schwarzenegger will never see a bill of his suggestion passed again.
"I want to make the Legislature a part-time Legislature," he told The Los Angeles Times on Tuesday while vacationing in Hawaii. "Spending so much time in Sacramento, without anything to do, then out of that comes strange bills."I think the legislature should form a union to fight this.
Posted by fad at 1:49pm
Continuing random anecdote day, here's one bit from my firing (ok, "correction of workforce overlap") last week that I found amusing.
In the next cube sat Creepy Andy. "Creepy", of course, not being his given name. Well, other than the fact I gave it to him, but I don't think that makes it official. Yet.
Creepy Andy is constantly optimistic, naive and slow to pick up on things. It's like trying to batter through a concrete wall with a pinecone to get him to understand something. Once he does, he's off and flying, but it's frustration up to that point. Add that he talks very slowly, drawing out his words like, again, the boss from Office Space. At least C-A is sincere, though.
After the news was broken, we had to go back and pack up my shit (and make sure I didn't at any time physically touch the computer). My then boss had to sit there and watch me during this. C-A heard the commotion, popped over, and in very cheerful, chipper voice said, "Oh! You moving to a new desk? Cool!"
My then boss, just held his shaking head in his hands in disbelief. I looked up and said, "Uh....I suppose I am!" C-A stood there grinning for a bit, then you could see comprehension crashing in. "Oh........" and he made himself scarce.
Posted by fad at 1:41pm
We always get to hear about how stupid Americans are, especially in history. It's nice to see we aren't completely alone.
The Battle of Hastings never took place and Adolf Hitler is a fictional character. Robin Hood really existed, Harold Wilson saved Britain during the Second World War and Conan the Barbarian is a bona fide figure from early Nordic history.Since this report on the survey comes from the Independent, of course movies and lack of intellectual worship will be blamed. There are some fun stats from the survey.
It might sound like the latest attempt by revisionist extremists to pervert the past but the reality is perhaps more disturbing: this is how a significant chunk of the British population, muddled by Hollywood films and unmoved by academia, sees history.
Some 57 per cent think King Arthur existed and 5 per cent accept that Conan the Barbarian, the warrior played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in a 1982 film, used to stalk the planet for real. Almost one in two believe William Wallace, the 13th-century Scottish resistance leader played by Mel Gibson in his film Braveheart, was invented for the silver screen.Maybe because they couldn't sit all the way through that ponderous, heavy-handed marathon of a film. Some of the details are disturbing.
11 per cent of the British population believed Hitler did not exist and 9 per cent said Winston Churchill was fictional. A further 33 per cent believed Mussolini was not a real historical figure.Other details were really frightening considering this is a sample of British people.
[...]
57 per cent believe that the Battle of the Bulge, the Nazi counter-offensive in the Ardennes in 1945, never happened.
A further 53 per cent think the military leader who lead British troops at Waterloo was Lord Nelson whereas a quarter think the admiral's fatal triumph at the Battle of Trafalgar did not take place. Nearly one in five believe Harold Wilson, not Winston Churchill, was Prime Minister during the Second World War.No pip-pip or cheerio for them!
Real people that some believe never existedI had to include that because that has always been my favorite king name since I first started my studies.
Ethelred the Unready King of England 978 to 1016 - 63 per cent
Real events some people believe never took placeYou can maybe forgive them on the Custer thing, being way over here in the middle of Montana. As for me, I have the advantage of having been there 3 times. Finally, here are some that make me think the responders were having a little fun with the survey.
Battle of Little Big Horn Scene of Custer's last stand - 48 per cent
Hundred Years' War 44 per cent
Fictional characters who we believe were realThe Battlestar Galactica one cracked me up the most. Whoever managed to say without laughing that they thought it really happened has my praise.
Conan the Barbarian - 5 per cent
[...]
Edmund Blackadder - 1 per cent
Xena Warrior Princess - 1 per cent
Fictional events that we believe did take place
War of the Worlds , Martian invasion - 6 per cent
Battle of Helms Deep , Rings Trilogy - The Two Towers - 3 per cent
Battle of Endor , The Return of the Jedi - 2 per cent
Planet of the Apes , the apes rule Earth - 1 per cent
Battlestar Galactica , the defeat of humanity by cyborgs - 1 per cent
Posted by fad at 11:07am
Ok, this is cool.
NASA's Genesis mission was launched in August 2001 from the Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. Three months and about one million miles later, the spacecraft began to amass solar wind particles on hexagonal wafer-shaped collectors made of pure silicon, gold, sapphire and diamond.But that's not the really cool part. Check out this recovery method.
To preserve the delicate solar particles in their matrix of gold, sapphire and diamond, specially trained helicopter pilots will snag the return capsule from mid-air using giant hooks.I think I'd almost pay to watch that catch.
Posted by fad at 10:44am
I think this is going to turn into random anecdote day. At least this one isn't quite as random.
I watched Matrix: Revolutions last night. While tremendously slow and at times so ridiculous it shredded the elastic suspending my disbelief, I admit I was entertained. Had I seen it in the theater, that would not be the case. It probably would have pissed me off. But since I was at home and could pause it -- many times -- or walk away to add or rid liquids to my system, it was tolerable. But that's not what I want to really write about. This gives me the chance to tell my one Keanu story, second hand and apocryphal as it may be.
At my first job after I moved to Washington in 1998, I worked with a guy named Steve. Among other gifts to the world (like not writing the email "virus" we really wanted to write) was our impression of one of our bosses which perfectly melded Agent Smith from The Matrix with the boss from Office Space. Steve grew up relatively privileged near Los Angeles. His father was a rather powerful lawyer in that town, so had some connections which provided Steve with many stories, some believable. One went, "Yeah, my dad had this guy over all the time for a while. Weird guy. You ever hear of a guy named Stan Lee?" Another was that he went to high school with Cindi Margolis, and everyone made fun of her because always held her head crooked to one side.
Because of his parents wealth (and divorce), he had a lot of idle time before he decided to shape up in his 30s. A lot of this time was perfecting the ability to make a precisely enunciated order at Fatburger no matter how fucked up on drugs and/or drink he was at the time. Another was his passion for hockey. He and his buddies had been season ticket holders for the LA Kings. Well, until Gretzky showed up and those tickets became too hard to get. His other hockey was playing in a small, rather informal league.
One night, as his story goes, he and some of his teammates stopped to get gas. The car was loaded with gear, sticks and pads piled in the windows. As the car was filling, a really, really scruffy guy, bearded and poorly dressed, came up to them and, with brilliant insight, said, "You guys play hockey?"
"Uh...yeah."
"Huh. Can I play?"
This was pre-Matrix, but they still recognized him, so they said, "Sure!" And play he did for a few games that season.
After the games, the guys would hitch along to a club or bar with Keanu so they could catch his crumbs as the women threw themselves at him. It was even more interesting to watch that because Keanu never showered after a game, and from the smellwitnesses, that was very obvious to anyone nearby.
Steve did say that, for the most part, Keanu was a pretty cool, nice guy to hang with, but just weird.
Posted by fad at 10:01am
I just saw my first Dylan/"Victoria Secrets" commercial. Thankfully it did not excite me. I can name maybe two Dylan songs, but I'd still pay him the whole savings I need to survive my unemployment just to keep him away from the T&A.
Posted by fad at 12:10am
April 6th, 2004
Now for all these months, the original still will not empty. It's beginning to scare me. Should I worship it? Should I just appreciate the value for my initial dollar? Is it time to call in the local D&D group to sacrifice before its terrors swallow the world? I guess all of the above is a possibility.
Posted by fad at 6:09pm
Sure, most will focus on the vibrating condom, but other inventions stand out.
The South-Korean anti-haemorrhoid chair, which sends a scent of medicinal herbs through the seat which are then warmed by a candle, has also proved popular.I ain't sitting in any chair with a damn candle in it.
Posted by fad at 5:58pm
Here's a nice stable man.
A jailed man accused of killing and cutting out the hearts of his son, estranged wife and her daughter plucked out his own eye and then quoted from the Bible, officials said Tuesday.I imagine conversations with him must be quite interesting.
Posted by fad at 5:12pm
Why didn't anyone tell me how good and fun Cryptonomicon is? Ok, so lots of people did, but only recently were they ones I respected. I'm just barely into it (a hundred pages or so), but what a fun, wandering, and precise book. I love the style of the writing. Hopefully the next few hundred pages continue to hold up.
Nothing inspires me to write more than good writing. Well, except maybe bad writing. That was part of the early reason it was so fun to go after Maureen Dowd. Besides being empty of ideas, I just think she's a bad writer. This is mostly because I hate cute writing. It's lazy, template based writing. I know many, even if they disagree with her, think she writes well, but this arrogant asshole disagrees. When I read crap, I just want to sit down and try to not abuse language like that.
Of course being inspired by good writing is better. Knowing that people are paid for bad writing can be quite discouraging. Reading good writing is like hearing a great song. You just want to sing, play or dance along. This book is like that. Just a pleasure.
Posted by fad at 4:30pm
After losing one great inventor yesterday, we lost another one today.
Luke Williams, who with his brother invented the time-and-temperature sign common on office buildings throughout the world, died yesterday morning in a Spokane nursing home, his wife said.I don't want to imagine a world without that information always just a glance away,
Posted by fad at 2:28pm
To follow up on the President being in town to throw out the first pitch, word this morning was that boos were heard, but it was about 90% supportive/respectful. Some local columnist is floating a rumour that the Cardinals pumped in canned cheers through the sound system.
One person had an extra adventure, though.
A helicopter trip for a pilot, his girlfriend and her toddler son went from leisurely to a matter of national security Monday when they flew into restricted airspace just as President George W. Bush finished throwing out the first pitch at Busch Stadium.Oops.
Two F-15 fighter jets scrambled to intercept the helicopter, circling the aircraft until it was forced to land behind a home in the Spanish Lake area.
Posted by fad at 11:33am
Rupert Murdoch's take over of America is complete.
News Corp, the media giant controlled by Rupert Murdoch, is moving its shares from Australia to Wall Street.But we all know it's really inKKKorporated in the WhitKKKe HoKKKuse, Inc.
[...]
The company - registered in Adelaide, South Australia - is to reincorporate in Delaware, a US state well-known for its business-friendly corporate laws.
Posted by fad at 11:10am
Spirit has completed its primary mission.
The unmanned robot, marking its 90th full day on Mars, had accomplished all of the tasks NASA considered essential to declare the joint mission a success.They think it might be able to continue on working through September, though.
Posted by fad at 10:19am
Performed my civic duty this morning (then performed a performance art piece involving a giant sugar cube labeled "Purity" and an ant suit with a dollar sign on the back). Today is one of those sneaky spring votes that are light on candidates, but usually have a few bond and tax issues, along with the odd initiative, that depend on low turnout to pass since, generally, only those who know of it in the first place are likely to vote. Since I am unemployed and no longer pay taxes, I voted for increases across the board.
Actually, this one was pretty light. Only one tax issue and two bond issues here. Of those, only one is really of huge interest. In a fight I admit I haven't paid much attention to, Missouri schools haven't seen much change in funding for years. The governor refuses any funding plan that doesn't include tax increases. The Republican held state congress wants to fund through cuts elsewhere. Because of this deadlock, school districts around the state are trying to get bonds issued. This district wants a $75,000,000 bond.
To this, my polling place is a school within the district. Since the big issue is this bond, there was a nice klatch of teachers out front holding their "Vote Yes" signs in one hand and giant coffee containers in the other. Which led finally to this question: No electioneering is allowed within 21 feet of the entrance of a polling place. Now, is the entrance the entrance to the building, or to the room where voting occurs itself? It's really not a big deal -- these teachers were 15 to 17 feet max from the building entrance (years of basketball trains one to estimate distances within 20 feet pretty well) -- but I was just curious.
Posted by fad at 10:05am
April 5th, 2004
The man who invented the telephone answering machine has died at age 92.At 92, that's a very nice run. The impetus of the invention reminds me of the story I heard about why the automated telephone line switch, which allowed calls to be directed without an operator, was invented. It was because one guy thought the operator was stealing business for her boyfriend.
[...]
In a 1949 interview, Zimmermann said he got the idea for the device when he owned an air conditioning and heating company and couldn't afford a secretary.
Posted by fad at 4:17pm
Despite their stupidity, despite all the damage they do, radical environmentalists are always good for a laugh. First, our subject.
For 19 months, Tre Arrow was one of the most wanted fugitives in AmericaHunger strikes are the dumbest, most useless protests. I know it's supposed to show dedication to your cause, but how supporters can claim that it is the system/state/Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man/whatever authority who is forcing this on them is beyond me. Let's see what the FBI thinks he did, and what he ain't keen on talking about.
[...]
Now he's in a jail cell here, facing charges of trying to shoplift bolt cutters. He's begun a hunger strike to protest what he calls injustices in the U.S. legal system, and is eager to talk about the evils of corporate culture -- although not the FBI's case against him.
The FBI believes he's more than an activist. He is accused of firebombing logging trucks and cement trucks in two separate attacks in Oregon in 2001, and is suspected of having links with the Earth Liberation Front, a shadowy group that has claimed responsibility for scores of acts of destruction and vandalism over the past dozen years.How these groups haven't killed many people yet is amazing, and still inevitable. Now the humor.
Arrow, 30, was born Michael Scarpitti but says the trees told him to change his name.That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Considering the filthy, perverted things they say to me, I don't think we want to know the rest of his conversations with them.
Posted by fad at 2:14pm
Someone just reread her copy of Atlas Shrugged.
At the peak of her career, the 48-year-old doctor announced she was giving up medicine to become a middle school science teacher.The lawyers say it's the insurance industry's fault. The insurance agency declares itself rubber and the lawyers glue.
[...]
"I am going on strike for tort reform," she wrote.
UPDATE: Link added.
Posted by fad at 1:59pm
Terror lovers and the supporters of murdering innocent Jews are taking the fight to Caterpillar.
Activists will protest the use of Caterpillar bulldozers to destroy Palestinian homes, at the company's annual stockholders meeting April 14 in Chicago. An "International Day of Action Against Caterpillar" demonstration will be staged April 23 at corporate headquarters in Peoria.They, with her parent's blessing and participation, are shamefully exploiting the memory of that foolish woman.
Craig and Cindy Corrie of Olympia, Wash., spoke at the rally at Chicago Temple, 77 W. Washington, about their daughter Rachel, 23. She was trying to prevent the demolition of a Palestinian home in Gaza when the bulldozer ran over her in March 2003.The Suntimes can't be bothered to look up facts. It just takes what the activists say at face value. Corrie was protecting access to a tunnel used to smuggle in the weapons used to kill, not soldiers, but innocent Israelis. But, then again, these people explain away their love of murder because they don't believe there are innocent Israelis.
Posted by fad at 1:52pm
Well, crap. It sounds (because I read out loud) like the case against Matt Hale may be weaker than hoped.
Much of the case boils down to how a few words are interpreted. The interpretation will be crucial to the future of Hale, the 32-year-old self-styled "Pontifex Maximus" of a now mostly defunct group in East Peoria that called itself World Church of the Creator.Hale is accused of trying to buy the murder of a federal judge. That he's such a shithead will also have a lot to do with how the jury leans. Welcome to FAD where the obvious is free with every order.
Posted by fad at 1:47pm
Today is Opening Day for the St. Louis Cardinals. Throwing out the first pitch for their game against the Brewers, is President Bush. I'm sure some unclever person already plans to genius up a joke about the ironing of Bush and Brewers being at the same place. Callers to the local (worse than even normal) sports radio were claiming they were going to boo as loud as they could. One was going to have his son boo, as well.
As with too many partisans (and single issue voters and people who claim it was a single straw that camelled their back), it isn't that they want to boo. See, they have no choice. Bush is forcing them too by showing up. Since it's such a political move (imagine, a candidate wanting to throw out the first pitch. Truly a shocking level of low.), they have to show their displeasure.
Be nicer if they just said they hated the guy and wanted to boo, rather than blaming some external for their own motivations.
Posted by fad at 12:04pm
Ah, the first full day of unemployment*. What to do to fill all the empty time? At least last time this happened when I was in the Seattle area, I could go into down and down to the water front or drive up into the mountains to enjoy the scenery. Here, there ain't much to do that's cheap and interesting. But here is how things are mapping out so far:
- Squeegee has been acquired (the 7-11 didn't need it). Now to just plot out the best location and seize it as my own.
- I suppose I could do some research for this thing I'm writing, but since my travel-n-hookers budget has just been slashed, the closest a guy like me can come to some of it is watching porn. Surprisingly, that turns out to be very anti-productive.
- Typing of writing, I suppose I should try to get more than just the first three words and a very rough outline.
- Though I think it is important to spend some time contemplating why that person in the Ford in front of me this morning was riding his brakes while going uphill.
- Packing is probably a good idea, but even as a highly decorated procrastinator (I'd show you my medals, but I still haven't picked them up), it's stunning how long I can put that off.
- I could search the headlines to keep you people entertained, but it can't always be about you.
Oh yeah, and job hunting.
Posted by fad at 11:39am
April 4th, 2004
Students plagiarising internet essay material in their coursework are using a form of 'self-teaching', says the director of the qualifications body.[Insert easy joke about similar results from using internet porn.]
She maintained there was a big difference between pupils using large amounts of text from internet essays and re-writing small sections.Yeah, but where I come from you still had to cite the source. Just reworking a section still isn't fully legitimate, but at least it's closer. Then again, when you were forced to use Turabian when everyone else got to use those cheater ones the English majors used ("I used a book, somewhere around the middle"), I can understand the desire to leave the citation off.
Posted by fad at 4:27pm
The reactions and attempts at defense to the latest blog-blowup remind me of this from a while ago. Which just means there's nothing new, and the same old boring excuses and defenses cycle around.
Posted by fad at 12:08pm