May 21st, 2004
Posted by fad at 6:19pm
At least they had the good sense to put three chicks in the front row for the picture.
UPDATE: I made it right.
Posted by fad at 5:50pm
Did you know you could overdose on liquorice?
Thankfully it's not a concern for me. Liquorice is among the most foul substances on earth. I think I could go Divine on some dogshit before I'd eat liquorice.
Posted by fad at 5:43pm
Last List Lust of the day. This is "5 Sitcom Jokes or Bands I Would Prefer To Never See Or Hear Again Or The Worst Movie I Ever Saw In The Theater But At Least It Wasn't My Idea To See It" list.
- The Handshake At The Fertility Clinic. Hell, the whole fertility clinic storyline needs to go.
- Rancid
- The Misunderstood Overheard Phone Conversation
- Hoobastank. (This actually goes for a lot of stuff on the radio, lately. They got pulled out because I heard it at lunch. At least 20 years ago if a guy was singing like a whiny little bitch he had the decency to dress the part. And that is my "damn kids today" moment for the week.)
- How To Make An American Quilt
Posted by fad at 5:33pm
The English Patient is a movie I never had any desire to see, so haven't and probably never will. However, it seems they took some liberties with the story.
Posted by fad at 5:14pm
I think we have salesman of the year here.
A Chicago-area car dealership is being sued for selling a new car to a 78-year-old blind woman who has no driver's license, the Chicago Sun-Times said Friday.He didn't need that ratty, old soul anyway.
[...]
The salesman then went to her home and helped her sign the papers, according to the lawsuit.
Posted by fad at 2:05pm
And I used to crow about walking 4 miles in forty minutes.
Pemba Dorje Sherpa climbed the mountain [Everest] in eight hours and 10 minutes on Friday, tourism ministry official Purna Bhakta Tandukar confirmed.Damn.
Reminds of when I was in Arkansas a couple weeks ago. Matt and I were killing time after work telling stories about old sports injuries when the bartender suddenly pipes up with, "I was a quadriplegic for 8 months." All we could say was, "Well, you win." Worst part was that I still had a little bit left in my story, which was now incredibly lame in comparison.
Posted by fad at 1:20pm
Another list to try to satisfy my list lust today. Let's stick to music.
- Song that most makes me want to kick someone's ass.
- Most Romantic Song
- Best Song For Seducing The Ladies
- Secret Shame Favorite Song
- Best Song Involving Confusion Over Eye Color
Tie between "The Kiss" by The Cure and "Someone's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight", The Rezillos' cover version, not the lame-ass Fleetwood Mac original.
"Unfortunate Age" by the Trashcan Sinatras.
Like I know, and like it would work for me, anyway.
This means it's not my favorite song, but it's one of my favorites and I'm usually ashamed to admit it. "A Little Respect" by Erasure.
"Temptation" by New Order.
Ah, that'll get me through a couple more hours.
Posted by fad at 12:33pm
The "Real Men of Genius: Over the top Carb-Counter" ad is hilarious. "Count de Monte Carbo"
Posted by fad at 12:23pm
Lookout! It's a random fact!
I still read all my email in PINE*. If you recognize that, you probably used it in college briefly and are glad to have never used it again. Some years ago, the 'e' on my keyboard broke. As I was too poor and lazy to replace it, I instead created a whole ream of scripts and aliases to get around that. That's why, to this day, it is very hard for me to type "pine" instead of just "pin". I also could have beaten Mr. Burns' challenge of explaining, without using the letter 'e', why I should not be fired.
I have the same problem typing "March", but for a different reason.
Posted by fad at 11:05am
"Picasso missing from Paris museum"
Maybe because he's dead? I didn't realize his corpse got around more than Bernie's, but far be it from me to tell him what he can and can't do dead. He's a genius, after all, and I'm just a waste of space. Though a waste who got a stupid kick out of this phrasing.
It was found to be missing on Friday."Found to be missing". What a delightful structure of word usage.
Posted by fad at 7:23am
Since the Friday Five died, I've been having trouble finding an outlet for my list lust. So here's a list of 5 CDs I can't believe I actually own.
- Ray of Light - Madonna
- I'm really not a fan of Madonna, except maybe from the occasionally hairy armpits down, but I still bought this album and, frankly and fredly, still really like at least half the tracks. I still can't believe I own a Madonna album.
- Gran Turismo - Cardigans
- This CD confuses me. I really have no idea what it's doing in my collection. I must have liked one single and thought the rest of the album would be good. Instead, it's really, really dull.
- Sea Change - Beck
- As with Madonna, I can't believe I own a Beck album. Though I don't dislike his other work like I do with Madonna (with the exception of "Loser" which can drive me to kill faster than any neighborhood dog whispering in my ear), I still never thought I'd buy one of his CDs. Beyond even that, it's become a very important CD to me due to the timing of things when I bought it.
- Schubert Dip - EMF
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Unbelievable" was played out after the third spin, but it's still a fun, disposable listen of an album. It was one of the first two CDs I ever bought. Back then I had to use my brother's CD player because it was the only one in the house. I finally got my own when I was 18 as a birthday gift that I had to go halvsies on.
- Marvin the Album - Frente
- I bought this on the recommendation of a friend. We don't speak any more. Not because of this, but this probably is evidence of a root cause.
Posted by fad at 7:01am
May 20th, 2004
McDonald's was targeted in bomb plots Thursday in Turkey and Italy, with a small bomb damaging cars in a parking lot in Istanbul and firefighters defusing two explosives outside an outlet in Rome.Thankfully, at least at this point, they suck at it.
The bombs in Rome were hidden in suitcases along with a banner carrying a five-pointed red star -- a trademark signature of the radical leftist Red Brigades group, police saidBecause McDonald's is real important to the war effort. I guess they just can't think beyond the idea of bombing McDonald's, but can at least add the newest buzzwords.
[...]
Inside one of the suitcases was a banner that carried the star sign and read "Sabotage against Imperialism and War."
I can just imagine their meetings:
| Nutto1: | "Damn these fascist capitalist pigs! We need to stop their imperialistic domination of the worker in order to perpetuate the Gramscian false reality of the hegemony!" |
| Other Nuttos: | "Huh?" |
| Nutto1: | "Death to capitalism!" |
| Other Nuttos: | "Ohhhhh! Smash the System!" |
| Nutto2: | "What do you suggest we do about this?" |
| Nutto1: | "Hmmmm.....I was thinking bomb a McDonald's." |
| Other Nuttos: | "Brilliant!" |
| Nutto3: | "Hey, we're out of chianti. Should I liberate some more from the theiving shop keeper pigs?" |
| Nutto1: | "No, I think this calls for blowing up a McDonald's." |
| FatNutto: | "Uh, comrades? The toilet is clogged like the gutters will be with the blood of the capitalist blood-ticks come the revolution." |
| Nutto1: | Ok, everyone remember to use the bathroom at McDonald's before, BEFORE!, we bomb it." |
Posted by fad at 5:58pm
Trouble in paradise.
Cuban officials have asked managers of dollar-only stores to mark up prices of their products - including staples like cooking oil, pasta and milk - by between 10 percent and 30 percent, according to a document obtained Thursday by The Associated Press.Uh..."asked"?
But thankfully undesirables are being eliminated.
Orlando Zapata Tamayo, Raul Arencibia Fajardo and Virgilio Marante Guelmes were convicted in a one-day trial Tuesday of contempt for authority, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest,But at least they weren't called a mean name or had someone say they disagreed with them. That's where all the real crushing of dissent is, not these petty prison sentences. Oh, you want to know their crimes?
They had been arrested Dec. 6, 2002, while meeting in a private home in Havana to study the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.I left this one search hit out of the list below, but it seems good to add it now:
- castro sucks
- Indeed he does.
Posted by fad at 4:00pm
Ain't love grand Bible style!
A woman is accused of pouring boiling oil on her boyfriend's face in an argument over a Bible verse.That's related to why I refuse to talk politics or religion at the bar (unless that is the purpose of the gathering). Talking sports or music already causes enough fights as it is.
Posted by fad at 2:17pm
Incredible study shows that people don't want a painful death.
Most people would trade a few months of life if it meant a more comfortable death, U.S. researchers reported.I've got mine all planned out. I'm going to buy or take over a little shack in Montana and drink myself to death. It'll be my own little version of Walden.
Posted by fad at 1:26pm
Please let nothing go wrong with my DSL over the next four days.
The Communications Workers of America called for a four-day strike to begin at 12:01 a.m. Friday, two days after it gave the company notice of a potential walkout. The union said it would stop extending the contract that expired in April. Union members plan to return to work at 12:01 a.m. Tuesday.I would be most cross if something broke and there was no one there to fix it.
Posted by fad at 1:10pm
It's time for What Hack Bloggers Do When They Have Nothing Else, or, as I called it in my one man performance piece, Amoroliea, "post some of the recent wacky search hits"
Here are some of my favorites from the google searches. Honestly, the best and creepiest ones come from AOL search. Lots of funny ones from there, but also the great majority of those looking for kiddie porn. But it also gifted me with the best search hit in a while: "diapers for soaring pilots" There is a philosophy in there so deep, my soul fears drowning. On to the google.
- medical uses of botchulism
- Actually, I'm getting lots of hits for botchulism related things. I think people are hoping they could buy the dented cans, scrape their foreheads with them and look 10 years younger.
- f0lx0rs
- I made that l337 5p34k for "folks" as a joke, then suddenly for a couple weeks got a bunch of hits from one of them Scandinavian countries for it.
- anti capitalism posters
- Dude, just steal one.
- crappy lawyer alabama
- This one doesn't me to add a joke.
- zeeble
- I wasn't aware I'd used that here
- hunt's overflow porn
- Poor hunt. He's overflowing with porn! Someone take some off his hands before it's too late.
- avant-garde knitting
- Ok, I'll help you out. It takes two people. You each shove a needle up your ass and knit anti-war sweaters.
- only cheats for saphier version no other stuff
- Someone was frustrated in his searching.
- bat groin
- I don't think I want to know.
- asmahan fuck
- Sometimes I wonder if some people just add "fuck" to the end of all their searches to see what comes up.
- Alexandria Kerry's breasts
- Uh..no.
- sherilyn fenn naked
- That's more like it.
- The Battle of Hastings never took place
- Shhhh....no one tell the Saxons.
That oughta hold the little bastards.
Posted by fad at 11:29am
See, the mistake people who knew the government was up to domething made was that flouride wasn't itself the direct means of mind control. Oh no, they are much too devious for that. And patient. The flouride in the water was just the primer. Over the years, as it soaked into our brains, it prepared us for this day.
A new military radio system is jamming remote-control garage doors in communities near this Florida Panhandle base.Yeah, like garage doors are the only thing it's controlling. Tin foil ain't enough to stop this, folks. Only plugged in extension cords wrapped like a turban around your head can keep out the voices and their commands. But don't even think about using the government's electricity. That's just stupidity. You have to use a portable generator constructed of a potato, two pinecones and a Bible (any will do, from King James to the Linux Bible). If you find yourself with a sudden urge for those Lays Dill potato chips, you know it's all over. No one could ever actually want those.
During testing last week of the $5.5 million two-way radio system at Eglin, homeowners in Niceville, Valparaiso and the Crestview area reported that their garage door openers failed to work.Niceville? Shouldn't that be in Minnesota? I'm almost surprised there wasn't a Stepfordtown in that list too.
Posted by fad at 7:45am
As of yesterday it will now be easier to determine if spam is sexually explicit.
A Federal Trade Commission rule went into effect Wednesday requiring that unsolicited commercial e-mail that contains sexually oriented material include the words "SEXUALLY EXPLICIT" in the subject line.Finally, I'll know for sure that those emails with the subject lines "farm of spunk", "hot mothers bang for $$" and "your mother covered in semen" (real subject lines from just the last couple days) are sexually explicit. Thank you, federal government! Since all porno spammers are just good, law-abiding US citizens, I'm sure this rule will be very effective.
Posted by fad at 7:25am
May 19th, 2004
First, I can't believe I actually bought something and brought it into my home that has "Funkytown" on it. Second, I also never thought I'd have two versions of "Holding Out for a Hero", neither the original.
The Eels track has that "throwaway feel", to a degree, especially the cliched middle of it, but it's still a good track. I'm glad I have it. There's a bunch of Generic Song About Love (from happy to angsty) filler and the "Vida Loca" cover by movie characters that are quite happily skipped as well. The cover of "Ever Fallen In Love" is very dull. That song, especially because of when I first heard it, is a bit of a themesong for me. This version takes out all the thrash. Plus Pete Yorn is a singer who always sounds as bored as everyone else when he's singing. And not in that detached, ironic way the hipsters are all stirring their hips to. Nick Cave is someone can make a guy droning for 5 minutes about how people ain't no good almost seem interesting.
The real fun, though, is "Drop of Poison" from Tom Waits. Now, of course I know of Tom Waits, he's a fan of Eels as well as an acknowledged influence, but I don't think I've ever really heard anything of his. He sings like he warms up gargling whiskey and rubbing alcohol then deep throating a toilet brush. It's fun.
And now, with this music post, time to head out to the GWAR concert tonight. No, I'm not actually a fan of theirs -- not even close -- but the tickets are free. Plus I like the perverse idea that they'll be the only band I will have even seen more than once.
Posted by fad at 6:20pm
Hey ladies, get drunk. It's good for you.
A new Kaiser Permanente study adds to evidence that adults who consume modest amounts of alcohol are healthiest --- and for the first time suggested that women might get more benefit from an occasional drink than men.So far, unfortunately, none of those benefits have included me, but there's always tonight!
Yeah, right.
Posted by fad at 5:54pm
What's Tatars, precious? Just another people fucked over by Stalin.
They gave them 15 minutes to gather what belongings they could carry. Anyone who protested was beaten or dragged away to the edge of the village and shot.But, you know, disagreeing with your position on the war is, like, worse or at least almost as bad.
"They put us on trains and didn't let us off for a month,"
Sixty years to the day after the deportations to central Asia began, tens of thousands of Tatars gathered Tuesday in Simferopol, Crimea, to remember their exile after Stalin accused the whole nation of being Nazi collaborators.Talk about questioning their patriotism.
Oh, and speaking of that, not to take away from the above which is still ruining lives, I just wanted to say last Sunday's Simpsons was pathetically heavyhanded and overplayed. There was room for decent satire there and instead all they did was play up every cheap stereotype, buzzword and myth with the subtlety of a baboon ass wedding cake. I'm one who still thinks the majority of episodes, especially the last couple years, are quite funny. Sure, they aren't the glory years, but they still beat the crap out of most other stuff on. However, this was really pathetic.
Posted by fad at 5:53pm
There's only one role big enough for Brando.
Veteran actor Marlon Brando is set to make a big screen comeback, playing himself in a low-budget drama.Only Brando could play Brando, plus it's fun to type Brando for some reason. Brando!
[Brando!] has also starred in such classics as The Wild One, A Streetcar Named Desire, Apocalypse Now and Last Tango in Paris.That poor butter never had a chance.
Posted by fad at 12:37pm
College students and software developers beware, they've found the next thing to give you cancer!
"Fizzy drink link to gullet cancer"
Then again, I only drink cokes, not fizzy drinks, and traded in my gullet for three ham sandwiches and one of the aforementioned cokes.
Posted by fad at 12:36pm
Tits!.
(That'll increase my readership!)
Posted by fad at 11:00am
I'm such a sucker, I'll probably go see this if it's actually made. Or at least rent it. Or think about renting it. Or just have some pie.
Posted by fad at 7:55am
When I think flavor sensation, I think Ozzy .
The co-owner of a Woodbridge ice cream shop is serving up ice cream flavors honoring rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his wife, Sharon.Mmmmm..... No, wait...Sounds downright nasty, in fact.
[...]
Ozzy's Carnivorous Carrot Cake is a cinnamon spice ice cream with carrot cake soaked in hazelnut liqueur.
You know I had been wondering if it was possible to get too over-exposed. I'm glad the Osbournes are there to helps us push that envelope and other cliches.
Posted by fad at 7:50am
So for years I've heard that Americans don't pay enough for gas, especially compared to our European betters. If we only had to pay more, then we wouldn't drive as much, we would carpool more, the environment would sing for joy and bunnies would nuzzle our cheeks as we slept. Now gas is at that magical $2+ level and from many of those same quarters I'm hearing about the suffering these high prices cause. If the goal was just high cost to change behavior, then they should be happy. They are finally getting their wish. But they aren't. Why? Because of the means of the high prices. They weren't set high by wise counselors; they aren't filling tax coffers any extra since gas taxes are a per-gallon thing. Just like with many traffic tickets, when put on point, it is revealed that this policy was never about the environment and the fluffy bunnies, but all about control. Since, while they have the prices, they don't have the control, to them it has to be a bad thing.
Posted by fad at 7:33am
It's vocal humiliation day here at FAD. Yes, today only you will find three, count them, three!, sound files of me "singing". Why are you so lucky? Because, well, because why not.
UPDATE: Oh, beyond the really bad singing, the lyrics aren't work safe. Some may even find them offensive. You are hereby warned as is required by the sacred code of at work web surfers.
Posted by fad at 12:39am
May 18th, 2004
A frequent zoo visitor whose bitten-off finger was found outside a jaguar exhibit has been banned from the Rio Grande Zoo for life.When a man can't run around with blood soaked pants without interference, then none of us is free. Damn you, John AshKKKroft. Damn you!
A groundskeeper spotted the man running into a zoo bathroom last week with blood on his pants,
Posted by fad at 5:59pm
Want to hear a tale of true crushed dissent?
The Kremlin sent in soldiers to suppress the 40-day rebellion in the Kengir camp in the then-Soviet republic of Kazakhstan in 1954.Here was one man's crime that put him in the gulag.
According to prisoner accounts, up to 600 people were killed and many more injured, although official statistics acknowledged only several dozen victims.
Sobolev served 8 1/2 years at Kengir, where many inmates were political prisoners, after being convicted of "anti-Soviet activity" for taking part in a student association that promoted private property.Property is theft, after all. Many of our current dissenters would have us know that.
"They crushed us with tanks, with guns and machine guns, and because the crowd was thick, a burst of gunfire would knock out a dozen of us," said Igor Sobolev, who participated in the revolt. "But it was a great feeling of freeing one's spirit."Today also marks the 15th anniversery of the escalation of protests for democracy in China. Tomorrow is the 15th of the implementation of martial law because of these marches, heading us towards 15 years since the Tiananmen crackdown.
Posted by fad at 5:49pm
I know some people who take great pleasure in Martha Stewart's problems, and here's another great chance.
588 boxes of Martha Stewart Everyday™ Safety Matches are being recalled because they pose a fire hazard.I like fire.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission says the matches may ignite upon impact.
Posted by fad at 4:57pm
For you Star Wars obsessives*: http://HanShootsFirst.org is here to save the day.
Posted by fad at 4:55pm
There is a certain breed of man who cannot resist looking at the land and saying, "I bet I can eat that!"
A man who cooked and ate nearly 30 cicadas sought medical treatment after suffering a strong allergic reaction to the sauteed insects.God bless you, sir. Without brave souls like you, we wouldn't know not to eat those.
The man, who has a history of asthma and shellfish allergies, suffered a ''significant allergic reaction,'' after eating the cicadas, Ripani said.Or that people will react to cicadas as they would to shellfish. Science advances on, my friends, pulled mightily by a vanguard of the stupid.
UPDATE: It is the librul media at fault!
Posted by fad at 11:12am
I read stories like this and sometimes wonder how much the dog knows going into it.
The 5-year-old German shepherd was shot in the line of duty when he took a bullet meant for policewoman Geraldine Earthman and fellow officer Eric Janusz.And it's funny what you miss.
[...]
The policedog darted in front of the officers, who had no cover.
The dog was remembered as an animal who loved to bite.I've got some former friends I could say the same about.
''I'm going to miss being afraid of him,'' officer Lincoln Folkers said.
Posted by fad at 8:25am
A note to all you world travelers out there. Expect France to be shut down for a time.
The French government Monday described the 35-hour working week as a financial disaster that was costing the state billions of dollars and promised to reform the system despite fierce union opposition.That fight could get ugly.
Posted by fad at 8:10am
align=right. Not alight.
Posted by fad at 8:09am
Jerry Brown, who is just 66 years old, is running for California attorney general.
"I'd bring creativity and innovation to that office. I have a lot to give," Brown told the Times, which contacted him in London.Creativity is certainly one of the former Moonbeam's strong points.
At least four other candidates, inlcuding three Republicans, also have filed to run for attorney general's office, now held by Democrat Bill Lockyer, who is term-limited.Good. At all times, but especially during these recent times, we need fewer elected officials who condone prison abuse and find it funny.
Posted by fad at 6:51am
Ian Curtis killed himself 24 years ago today. He's now been dead longer than he lived. Stupid git.
Coincidently, Mt. St. Helens blew the same day. We heard the eruption, but didn't get the evidence, in the form of a thin layer of ash that lingered for weeks, until the next day.
Posted by fad at 12:21am
May 17th, 2004
(Yeah, I had another post up about this, but I didn't like it. )
Posted by fad at 5:46pm
Gold Thieves are always a lot cooler in the movies.
The Metropolitan Police foiled an attempt Monday to steal gold bullion worth $70 million and cash from a warehouse at Heathrow Airport.And better armed. I know; I know. There were cudgels involved, and there are few things more fearsome than a cudgel. Hell, had we found a couple of those in the early days in Iraq, that would have settled the WMD question's hash and good. Mmmm...settled hash.... Man, I could go for some of that right now.
A gang smashed through the shutters of the Swissport Cargo warehouse in a van and threatened the workers with knives, cudgels and at least one firearm. But more than 100 officers who were lying in wait arrested six men after disabling the van.
Posted by fad at 5:25pm
Throughout all my schooling, all the way through the end of college, I was "The Boy Who Does Not Get It". What is meant by that is that every time we studied something in literature or poetry, I didn't get it. Well, that's not true. In fact, I did "get it", or at least something, out of most of them. In some cases, it was clear as day and rather meaningful to me. However, when the time came to discuss what was actually meant, I was almost always told I was wrong. As things went along, whenever I tried to read anything, I just assumed anything I thought was in there was wrong. Eventually I became incapable of understanding any of it because, even when I thought I had been understanding, clearly I was not. Which was a frustrating shame for me because when I was younger I really, really enjoyed these things, but, after years of all this, I learned that whatever it was I was enjoying just wasn't there and wasn't meant to be there.
I thought of this again -- ok, I always think of it since dwelling on my many failings and failures is my favorite hobby -- watching my new The Godfather DVD this weekend. I noticed there is a director's commentary included in the features. I thought about listening to it, but realized I most likely never will. Why? Because I enjoy the movie far too much. I don't want to find out that what I enjoy about it isn't there, or that certain moments are meant to mean something else. I don't want to find out I'm wrong again.
Something similar happened back in school. I was in an Art survey class. Now I happen very much to like art, but I know almost nothing about it. This is intentional, for the most part where my innate laziness isn't concerned. We were assigned to go to a museum or showing, pick out a piece and write it up. I found one at the Walker Art Institute (otherwise known as the "Is that the place with the big spoon?" "Yes" joint) that I really liked. So I wrote up everything I got from it and why it hit me so. Then, as part of the assignment, we were to research the piece we picked. I did. And I discovered, of course, that I was completely wrong. What I was seeing was not there. What I got from it, what was meaningful to me, was not intended. Just to see that I wasn't a complete waste of a person, I showed a picture of this painting to people I knew. In every case that someone got something from it, they got what the books said and not what I saw. This nearly ruined the piece for me, and art was starting to trundle down the same way poetry and literature already had.
For this reason, those things I hold dear, or have great meaning to me, I will almost never discuss why or do research on. A prime example is music. I will gladly tell you my favorite bands, my favorite songs by them and maybe even a line or two I find clever, but I will never tell anyone why I like a particular song so much, or for what reason it is so meaningful. I won't be robbed of them. Now when I see art or hear music that I like, I will sometimes research the artist, but never the art. I don't mind knowing, and, in fact, often want to know, about the artist because that can help set a context. But I know that knowing too much about the thing itself is dangerous. It is likely that I am wrong and finding that out would cause them to lose meaning for me.
When I was younger, before realizing I am "The Boy Who Does Not Get It", my favorite poem was "Dover Beach" by Matthew Arnold. I even went so far as to memorize it (and a couple shameful, but thankfully not recorded, efforts to set it to music). Then we studied it in school and I learned I didn't get it. Almost everything I thought it meant was not right. So, over time, the whole thing lost meaning for me. I'd go back a couple times a year and look it over. As I scanned the lines, snippets of meaning might jump out, but I never could get anything out of it. Why bother when I just knew anything I got would be wrong? So I just stopped looking it up at all.
I revisited the poem again last month for the first time in a few years. This time, maybe because I've forgotten by now what it is supposed to mean, it once again took on great meaning for me. But I won't tell anyone why, and I won't look anything up about it. I will not be wrong again. I will not let it be robbed of meaning again.
Posted by fad at 7:55am
May 16th, 2004
(News via Michele.)
Posted by fad at 3:57pm
As you have no doubt realized since you are reading this, we are back to the main server. All appears to be working. Well, mostly. Somethings still need to be repaired a bit, but as far as you are concerned FAD is back up and running.
Do any of you want those posts at the temp site moved over here, or do you not care?
UPDATE: Moved this to the top of today as an explanation/welcome that the main site is back. Also, I already moved those posts over as you can see below.
Posted by fad at 9:13am
As I've mentioned many times, during about late 1996 through late 1998 I was involved in a project making a capture the flag mod for the Quakeworld version of Quake. All the work we did was done for free. Players could download all the files we created or had created for us for free. We never took a single dime for it. At most we got a couple free beers out of our hours of effort.
When you provide something for free, and it's a very good product (which ours was, I must say), you are going to attract many users. This also means you'll attract many assholes They begin to get a total sense of entitlement to your work. In their mind you wouldn't exist if they weren't around to use your product, therefore they should have the right to demand in what manner your product is delivered. We may have spent all the hours coming up with the ideas, making them work, tweaking the gameplay and the balance, but, dammit, they spent as many hours enjoying it, so it belonged to them already!
And in a sense they are correct. They, being part of the market, do have the influence in the shaping of the product. Going back to that game above, we constantly watched how the gameplay was developing. If we noticed something was being over exploited, we would tweak it. The goal was balance. The game had to be fun for everyone. However, those using the exploits, of course, were winning more. Tweaking the game brought them back to a competitive level with everyone else.
Each time we did this, we got huge, flaming emails demanding to know why we were attacking the "good players". (For the record, putting a script alias that at the touch of a button lets you escape any situation doesn't make you a good player; it just means you can copy and paste off the internet.) These "good players" would demand -- through the universal internet language of phrases involving goats, my mother and genitalia -- we change things back or they would never play again, dammit! What was lost on these people is that they were not the soul of the market. The game had to be fun for as many as possible, within its own integrity. Making it super fun for those few ruined it for others and was having a demonstrable effect on the total number of people willing to play. So we said to hell with them and did what was right anyway.
This led to this maxim: The first and loudest person to scream, "The customer is always right!" is also the person with the shittiest idea(s). In terms of The Fountainhead these are the classic second raters. They don't have what it takes to create successfully, so they will try to "correct" what you are doing. In other cases they haven't accepted that their ideas are shit, so assume they must not be screaming about them loud enough. That your ideas -- and this includes in the political realm -- are not being implemented or accepted is not because of some plot against you, it's because they are either crap or just plain not what the market wants. What seems like a good idea to me ain't universal.
And, yes, this is inspired by the peripherals I've read about Movable Type floating a pricing scheme. "What? We've used your work for free for so many years and now you want money for it?" But instead, for those who don't like this idea, of saying, "Well, ok. I'll find something else to use." Many are saying, "No! I will not allow you to do this period! You are evil, wicked, naughty and with no hope of spankings or oral sex!" I'm not saying they deserve to make money after all this time; I'm saying they have the right to see if they can. It is their creation and hours of effort. If it doesn't work for them, then they'll adust. But if it does, guess what? Your whiney ass is in the minority, and you'll just have to learn to cope.
It's a funny thing about giving away a product for free. People think they own it even more than if they had paid for it. The less true investment they have in it, the more ownership and control they want to seize
Posted by fad at 1:12am
It's the end of an era. I finally have admitted that I need a new wallet. My friends have long mocked me over my wallet. You see, it's a velcro wallet. Brown, with the stylized silhouettes of two palm trees and a setting sun. They like to say it's one of the reasons I'm still single because no woman dates a man with a velcro wallet. I like to think it has more to do with my shitbag looks and pathetic, borderline-creepy personality. Considering that every woman I have ever asked out or pursued has said no -- and that long before seeing my wallet -- I think I'm probably right. But far be it from me to ever blame myself when I can blame something external for my failings, so the wallet it is!
Stupidly, the damn thing has some sentimental value, though. I bought it at the King County Fair in the summer of 1983 with my own money. Yes, my wallet is old enough to buy alcohol on its own. I wouldn't be surprised if it were while I was sleeping, either. It's a damn sneaky wallet.
But back to 1983. In June, my parents had told us kids we were moving to California from Washington. After the initial excitement about a move, it began to sink in that it also meant leaving behind the friends, family and familiarity. But being a newly minted nine year old, the adventure of it all still outweighed the rest. I was going to embrace what I thought this new existence was. That meant thinking in terms of California. Now, to a nine year old who had never been to California, that meant Disneyland, movies and beaches (and, in a strange twist, that is pretty much what it ended up being in many ways).
Another aspect of that age was that I began trying to make these decisions about "growing up". In this case, I decided as a nine year old, it was time I started carrying a wallet like grown-ups did. And what better place to buy a wallet than at a county fair! Ok, it was more that there just happened to be a display of cheap, velcro wallets there. Looking through them, I found this one. I mean, Palm Trees! A Sunset! It was destiny! This was to be my wallet as I entered the new world of California.
Twenty one years later that wallet has gone from California to Wisconsin, school in Minnesota, back to Washington and now to St. Louis. I don't think it'll make it out of here. The vel no longer cros when I open it. It no longer has the strength to contain my vast wealth. Ok, the seams have just given way of late. It'll be sad to see it go.
Now I just need to find one equally as cheezy.
Posted by fad at 1:10am