May 28th, 2004
Posted by fad at 6:40pm
Here's something to finally help me. I'm terrible on the phone. Awful. I can barely recall the last time I was able to actually just call someone out of the blue to chat. I will often pick up the phone and by the time I've dialed the number I convince myself, "Meh, they're probably doing stuff. I'd better not interrupt." I always think I'll be some sort of huge imposition unless they are actually expecting the call.
Posted by fad at 6:36pm
Damn. Here I am stuck all the way out here in St. Louis when this is going on in Seattle.
New York actor Brian Jones will be performing "Marx in Soho" tomorrow and Sunday at 8 p.m. at the Seattle Asian Art Museum. Jones plays an indignant Marx who comes back to earth to clear his reputation.Because, you know, socialism has never really been tried right? Except, like, that one time in Paris. And if the army hadn't slaughtered them it would have worked in perpetuity, dammit! Oh, and that one time when our side of the dorm decided to pool our money for beer and shit. Each to their ability by their means to each by their ability to hold their liquor.
Jones, 30, has been performing "Marx" at theaters, schools and conferences for five years. His main job, however, is teaching sixth-graders at Public School 125 in Harlem. He is also a writer for the International Socialist Review.A pinko commie is teaching our children???? How the hell is this happening in AmeriKKKa! Really, people, if you're going to crush dissent, crush some damn dissent.
Posted by fad at 6:15pm
Two random things:
1. Ever notice that reading a good book is like putting on a pair of headphones? It's amazing the sounds and events you suddenly notice as you come back to the world when you put the book down.
2. For some damn reason for the last few months whenever I eat something, whether it is hot/spicy or not, my nose starts running. It sucks.
Posted by fad at 12:44pm
Since it's Friday, that must mean it's time for List Lust! Here are the top 5 things needed to re-animate the dead. Yes, everyone knows there are 17 total, but, for space constraints, and the laws of lists, just the first 5 will be listed.
- Cabbage
- Caraway Seeds
- Salt
- The blood of a righteous man*
- Keith Richards
*Righteousness to be determined by a council of religious leaders and Gary Gygax.
Posted by fad at 10:52am
I may be turning 30 in less than a month, but I hope that doesn't explain the sudden uptick in AARP related spam.
Posted by fad at 10:15am
Oh yeah... I owe a decision on this debate. Yes, Babe: Pig in the City is indeed a great movie. It is also one of the most seriously fucked up movies I have ever seen.
The first time I saw it was when I rented it along with Taxi Driver. When I first moved to Seattle I rented and saw a lot of movies because I didn't have any friends. I didn't have any friends because, well, would you want to be friends with me? Didn't think so.
Anyway, I used to have "theme" rentals, which is pretty much what you'd think. That night it was "most fucked up combination". I figured Taxi Driver would be intense and disturbing with the other being light and fluffy. Well, I was half right. Let's just say that when Mickey Rooney is among the least fucked up things in a movie, there's some serious weird going on.
Posted by fad at 9:56am
Via Reflections in d minor comes the link to this Ray Bradbury rant. Picking just one quote from it is nearly impossible, but decisions must be made!
For it is a mad world and it will get madder if we allow the minorities, be they dwarf or giant, orangutan or dolphin, nuclear-head or water-conversationalist, pro-computerologist or Neo-Luddite, simpleton or sage, to interfere with aesthetics. The real world is the playing ground for each and every group, to make or unmake laws. But the tip of the nose of my book or stories or poems is where their rights and my territorial imperatives begin, run and rule. If Mormons do not like my plays, let them write their own. If the Irish hate my Dublin stories, let them rent typewriters. If teachers and grammar school editors find my jawbreaker sentences shatter their mushmild teeth, let them eat stale cake dunked in weak tea of their own ungodly manufacture. If the Chicano intellectuals wish to re-cut my "Wonderful Ice Cream Suit" so it shapes "Zoot," may the belt unravel and the pants fall.I don't like every Bradbury story I read, but he is one of my absolute favorites for use of words and language. The first few chapters of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" are damn near perfect.
Posted by fad at 9:29am
Mr. Cranky delivers a great one today over that The Day After Tomorrow movie that the scary, shouty man wants us to see.
"The Day After Tomorrow" is basically weather porn. The acting, story and dialog are but a flimsy pretext to get us to the money shot of a big storm destroying something.Of course few things descredit any cause like its own supporters, but that's just a great line.
[...]
Nothing discredits a liberal cause like an actual liberal, and Roland's inane story, flimsy characters, bad dialog and blunt, patronizing moralizing do more damage to environmental causes than if Dick Cheney himself were whipping shitties in his Hummer in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The final line of the movie is something along the lines of, "Look! The nations of the world are hugging!"
Posted by fad at 7:42am
May 27th, 2004
Yeah, it's an often repeat, but I didn't want to leave that twaddle below as the top thing.
Posted by fad at 6:42pm
As I have admitted, I am pretty much incapable of understanding or enjoying literature, so I rarely have any confidence about any opinion I hold about a book I read. With poetry, it's easy. I don't understand any of it, so don't have any opinion. However there is at least one place with literature that I stand firm in my conviction.
I hate Charles Dickens.
Ok, I just hate his writing. Having never met the man, being that he's been dead for some time, I can't judge him personally. With his stuff, I feel quite confident that this isn't a case of "got it". Just like I say to those who tell me the reason I don't think "Fight Club" is genius is because I didn't get it, I say, "Oh, I got it. I just thought it was stupid." And that's my approach to Dickens' writing.
Sure, I give the man all the credit for his contribution to the creation of the modern novel form or whatever the hell it is he's so great for. I give the "Beatles" credit for influencing lots of music I like today, but will never be the least bit interested in buying anything of theirs. At least I don't hate their stuff.
The first time I really had to deal with him was for a book review my last year of high school. We had to pick from the approved list with no two students doing the same book. As usual, I was assigned a book since I was too lazy to pick one. I got assigned "A Tale of Two Cities". Yes, this was with the same teacher from the story who always made sure to let me know what I saw in something wasn't there. She also got quite angry at me after a book review assignment the year previous for suggesting one of the good aspects of "Fahrenheit 451" was that it could be read in an afternoon. "Time and shortness should not be a consideration when it comes to literature, don't you think?" "Ummm...sorry."
So I took up "A Tale of Two Cities" planning to blow through it and plop out some bullshit to at least pass. But I noticed something as I read. This book sucked. Bad. The story was annoying. The characters even more so. Perhaps in revenge of years of bullshitting just to get by, and probably because this was my last year, I decided to be honest. "A Tale of Two Cities" was going to get the bad review it deserved.
I don't remember all the details, and I'll be damned if I pick up that book again to try to remember the problems. I pointed out my issues with the story ("It's considered one of the great ones. Don't you think you missed something?"), I pointed out my issues with the characters ("Dickens is known and acknowledged for his mastery of characters, though.") and my distaste for the melodrama. Ok, at the end that's just a personal taste thing. Needless to say, I got a bad grade and a "May I see you after class?" for being honest.
There is a chance my hatred is just a distillation of frustration from dealing with that passive aggressive wear down, but after that experience I did read a few other books to see if I just got one that hit me wrong. Nope. Some had better stories, but the writing, melodrama and characters still sucked. The worst of all of these is "Hard Times" which would have been much better if it actually were a gay porno. Just mention of Sissy Jupe and her damned father is a Niagra Falls moment for me. That I had to study the fucker 3 times in college just makes it worse. I burned my copy years ago (I like burning shitty writing). If I have to read someone from that general era, give me Hugo (no, I haven't read him in the original French. If I could read things in the original French, don't you think I'd mention that as often as possible? I'd also have a history degree instead of the one I do have). He has some of the same issues, which were, I admit, just part of the era, but he overcomes them very nicely.
Here ends this idiotic rant.
Posted by fad at 6:26pm
Do not fuck with a man and his reading material.
A box-cutter wielding Wal-Mart employee was arrested Thursday for slashing three managers who reprimanded him for taking reading material into a bathroom, police said.You'll have to read the article to see just what reading material he took with him. It's underwhelming.
Posted by fad at 2:08pm
I've said many times that I think debating competitions and electoral debates are among the most worthless things around. However, since I also think that I am one of the most worthless things around, there should be no harm in slumming into one for a bit*.
So here is your assignment.
RESOLVED: Babe: Pig in the City is a great movie.
I'll let you guys pick the pro and con teams. You have until midnight CDT to make your cases. At that time I will hold the same opinion I do now, proving once and for all that debates like this are a waste of time. It'll be a genius work of political performance art.
Posted by fad at 7:43am
Ack! Sorry, the post that was here is a work in progress. It wasn't meant to be published yet (I usually try to have at least 5 items when I do lists like that. Right now I only have three, and I'm not too sure about the third. This may never see the light o' day). To make up for it, and to ensure you aren't left contentless, here's a brief bit about seeing movies.
Most everyone knows that guys don't like to sit right next to each other in the theater. For the most part, this is a comfort thing. Those seats are a bit jammed in there. If I can take the opportunity to spread out a bit, I will. About the only reason to sit jammed together is if there's a chance I can accidently cop a cheap feel sometime during the show. Generally, this is not something I wish to do to a guy.
In some cases, though, it is real homophobia. Not just fear or discomfort of gay people, but fear of everyone in the theater thinking you're queer just for sitting next to another guy. In college, we knew a guy like this. He would sit away from the group if there wasn't a spare seat for him to put between himself and another guy.
One night, one of us said to him, "Hey, Ken, I see you brought your friend Imnotgay with you tonight!" After a while Imnotgay developed more personality. "This is our friend Imnotgay. He likes beer and football and tits!"
He's a good friend, he is.
Posted by fad at 7:20am
May 26th, 2004
UPDATE: Good company doesn't hurt either.
Posted by fad at 9:19pm
Hmmm....maybe if I got one of these, the ladies might stop fleeing before me.
Doctors in the United States have carried out face transplants on dead bodies donated for medical research.Where do I get on the list?
[...]
The doctors, who work at the University of Louisville, now hope to carry out the procedure on living patients.
According to New Scientist magazine, few looked like their donors. Most also bore little resemblance to how they had looked before the procedure.Anything's got to be better than the one I'm sportin' now.
Posted by fad at 5:58pm
Some random thoughts about blogs and blogging.
I hate this thought train: "Hmmm....I shouldn't post anymore for a bit. I really like [as much as I can -- fad] that bit and don't want to bury it. No one's commented on it, and I want people to have a chance to see it." Worse is it's brother, "I think this person would really like that one. I better not post for a while to give 'em a chance to see it." Just post, jackass!
I do wish if a site is going to bother pinging the generally useless weblogs.com, they would also ping the (slightly) more reliable blogrolling.com as well. I think MT, which most use, allows for that. Heck, I used to think it was the default to do both, but enough don't that I might be wrong.
I still wish the phrase "hat tip" would finally die, but I hate it when someone tries to inform everyone how they should all run their sites, so I'll cope.
Normally I try to be inspired by things well done, but there are certain blogs I can barely ever read because the intelligence and talent is so intimidating all it does is remind me what a hacking bucket of shit I am. I originally planned to list some of them here, but realized that'd cause more trouble than anything else.
Posted by fad at 2:07pm
Ok, that's it. I can't hold back the rampage anymore. The time of reckoning is at hand.
The first five books of the centuries-old tale ["The Iliad"], set in the final year of the Trojan War -- which began when Trojan Paris snatched Helen (the face that launched a thousand ships) from Greece -- are now available in the language people use when sending instant messages, Microsoft said on Monday.I think I'm going to be sick. I could handle it until those damned emoticons were mentioned. May my vomit purge this world.
[...]
The translation, designed to publicize Microsoft's messenger product, is not written in Homer's dactylic hexameters but it does use 'emoticons' -- little faces or images -- to emphasize intense moments.
Posted by fad at 12:36pm
Ducks. I don't think any further explanation is needed beyond just saying it's German.
Posted by fad at 12:25pm
I don't have clown fear like many do, but I have to admit sometimes it's easy to see why they do.
A clown who goes by the name of "Spanky" has been arrested on child pornography chargesClowning survived Gacy; I'm sure it will survive this, so you -- and you know who you are -- will still be able to get your saucy balloon animals.
Posted by fad at 7:45am
This is why I love health and science reporting. Here is the headline and opening paragraph to a story about a study on food colo
"'Ban artificial food colourings'"
Artificial food colourings should be banned in the interest of public health, say UK experts.Sounds pretty definite here at the top. The evidence seems sure, too.
Over the next four weeks the researchers controlled the children's diets.I admit that I am inclined to believe the parents who are around their children and know them best. However, the question is to what degree.
[...]
Overall, the parents said their children became less hyperactive during the period when the additives were removed.
Similarly, they said their children were much more hyperactive during the period when the additives were put back in.
However, trained doctors doing formal assessments of the children did not find any change in behaviour with change in diet.As I said, I believe the parents noticed differences, but the fact that doctors did not leads me to believe these differences aren't all that dramatic. Certainly not to the level required for outright banning.
"And if that really is the case reproducibly, then food colouring should be removed," he said.Bold tags emphasize things, especially when I add them. Now here at the bottom we have "if". That's far less definite than we started out. And that is how so much health and science reporting is done. The headline and the first half of the article are written to inform the reader that everything is decided. As one reads on, though, that decidedness begins to fray until at the end it is completely unraveled into a "maybe". And that's at best.
Posted by fad at 7:35am
May 25th, 2004
I don't blame the actor for the performance. I prefer to assume, in a work as complex and controlled as this, that the director wanted that. Just like with the Star Wars prequels, I'm not so stupid as to blame the actors, whom I have seen perform well in other movies, as much as I blame Lucas.
Posted by fad at 11:39pm
God bless Missouri and its "Invisible-When-Wet" lane markings.
Posted by fad at 6:24pm
"Hong Kong displays Buddha's finger"
The relic, held in a bulletproof glass box, was flown in Tuesday afternoon - just in time for the Buddha's birthday celebrations here Wednesday. It will be shown for 10 days in this largely Buddhist territory.Sure, they display his finger and it gets a 10 day show, a bulletproof box and admiring crowds. I try to display something, and all I get are screams, slaps and sirens.
Posted by fad at 6:19pm
SBC and the CWA union came to tentative terms. The Bloomberg business dude on the radio this morning said it included a provision that no one could be fired over the lifetime of the agreement. Wasn't quite that.
The settlement guarantees no layoffs of employees currently on the payroll for the life of the agreement and calls for rehiring of several hundred workers who had been laid off at SBC Southwest and SBC Midwest.While there is some weaselability in that, still sounds like SBC is decently confident about the next few years.
Posted by fad at 5:56pm
You have to love the "details" in this story. Ok, you don't have to. It'd be nice if you did, but I know you'd never do something just for my sake. Bitch.
A Russian scientist at a former Soviet biological weapons laboratory in Siberia has died after accidentally sticking herself with a needle laced with ebola, the deadly virus for which there is no vaccine or treatment, the lab's parent Russian center announced over the weekend.Which has got to be one of the most horrific, "....Oh shit..." moments. I assume. I don't want to find out.
Although the accident occurred May 5, Vector did not report it to the World Health Organization until last week. Scientists said that although Vector had isolated the scientist to contain any potential spread of the disease and there was no requirement that accidents involving ebola be reported, the delay meant that scientists at the health agency could not provide prompt advice on treatment that might have saved her life.Now here they mention "treatment that might have saved her life." Above the article states that "there is no vaccine or treatment".
While officials at Vector said the scientist, Antonina Presnyakova, was working on an ebola vaccine, they have declined to identify who was financing the research or discuss its specific nature.Well, that's comforting.
Posted by fad at 7:55am
It's about time science started doing some good around here.
University of Nottingham scientists spiked steak samples with E.coli bacteria, then cooked them rare.This calls for a celebratory riot of overturned cars and torched salads over which we can then cook our steaks to proper rareness.
The bacteria only survived where the steaks were touched by utensils that were not cleaned after being used to handle raw meat, researchers found.
Posted by fad at 7:50am
The ending of May reminds of a school tradition that I think just about every school foists upon the world: the "talent" show. I told one story about such a night, but now, since this is all about me, I'll tell one that includes me from high school.
Each class was required to put on a skit or performance of some sort. My high school was very, very small. Which means -- and stop me if I'm going too fast -- that the class sizes were very small as well. I point this out because this meant that a class couldn't depend on the brown-nosers and drama geeks to handle it. If someone didn't want to participate -- and they couldn't directly make you -- it was very noticeable. Naturally, I was one who didn't want to participate, so I skipped out my freshmen year. My parents were not pleased and decided that I would "volunteer" the next year.
Now I have tremendous stage fright. For speech class, I would wear my glasses so that I could take them off in order to not see everyone looking. Beyond stage fright, I have huge problems being in social situations (defined as "outside my apartment"). From the age of about 11 until 20ish, my crutch to get through the day was to wear a windbreaker at all times year 'round. In southern California, that got to be a challenge at times. In later years, I replaced the jacket with alcohol or the "creepy standing thing" in which I don't sit at a gathering, but stand about the edges. In other words, I wasn't happy about being forced up on a stage.
Our class advisor was also the drama teacher (as well as the English teacher who taught me only that I don't get the meaning of anything) which meant added pride pressure that we win the meaningless and prizeless competition. This didn't mean the skits were good. They were, as required by international law, awful. That year ours was about a soap opera. A director went through three different casts, each wackier and worse than the last, trying to get it right. In order to accommodate my issues, I was the cameraman. That way my back was to the audience, and I didn't have to say anything. All I had to do was wander around the stage.
One of the "casts" had a character who was a tempermental actress, played by a girl whose mother once asked her, "Who's the strange little boy in the jacket?". At one point, she was to storm off the set in a spewing hissy. During a rehearsal -- yes, they made us rehearse this crap. Though it was better than sitting in class being told I was wrong. -- she decided to fake shove me, as cameraman, out of her way. The night of the show, just before we went on to do our skit, I told her to do that again when she stormed off.
The show was put on in one of those typical high school auditoriums. Uncomfortable fold-down seats which descended until about 10 feet from the stage. The stage itself stood about 4 feet off the tiled floor. We went on with our painful skit that all the parents loved because they have to. It got to the point where she was to storm off. She flumped by, yelled, "Get that camera out of my face!" and pushed each hand to either side of me under my arms. As she did that, I threw my prop camera, made of a shoe box and a plastic Space Needle, into the air and lept off the stage landing on my side on the tile four feet below.
We forgot to mention to anyone else that was going to happen.
I had decided to do that just before we went on. Being 15, I forgot to consider that throwing myself off the stage onto a tile floor might be dangerous or hurt just a bit. After I realized I wasn't badly hurt, I opened my eyes and looked up at the stage. Everyone was just staring at me, eyes widened in shock. I got up, and ran out of the auditorium. They, stutteringly, finished what was left of the skit.
After the show, parents, including her own, came up to that girl and asked her, "Why did you shove that boy so hard?!" They all thought she had gotten too into the moment and actually thrown me off the stage. And that, my friends, is my one moment of Acting!
Posted by fad at 7:34am
May 24th, 2004
Posted by fad at 6:15pm
Maybe the hobbit feets should pass on tomorrow's DVD release and pool their money for this.
The house in north Oxford, where author J.R.R. Tolkien is believed to have written "The Hobbit" and begun the "Lord of The Rings," is set to go on the market next week.They could all live together in a commune, or "family" as it were. Mayhaps a charismatic leader with stringy hair will take charge. They can sing the Elvish songs he set to music, passing the time by robbing the occasional store or with grusome murder.
Or just practice their man-weeping and slow motion.
UPDATE: I haven't used the term "hobbit feets" for a while, so felt I should explain it again. It's the term a friend of mine came up with for the freaky obsessives. These are the ones who wear the costumes, skip work or school multiple times and would be the type to wear fake "hobbit feet", hence the name. It is in no way to describe the average Tolkien geek. Trust me, the guy who coined the term is two shades away from falling into his own definition.
Posted by fad at 5:37pm
Ha! I've been saying for years that ties are bad for you (they cut off the blood flow to the brain hurting productivity), but now even more reason.
A small study of neckties worn by doctors at a Queens hospital found almost half the 42 ties tested harbored microorganisms that can cause illness.Filthy, nasty doctors.
By comparison, only one of ten ties worn by security guards tested positive for a disease-carrying microorganism.
Posted by fad at 3:26pm
Every bad poet, goth and over-sentimental rejoice!
Scientists have found a way to produce a blue rose.Now if they can just perfect a black rose with thorns that doth prick with naturally occurring opium I'd finally have something to wear on my lapel when I go dancing.
Posted by fad at 1:16pm
They -- and you know who I mean by 'they' -- are deciding our dining future.
Well-known Los Angeles architect Kevin Kelley says the next wave in restaurant design might be the "reality restaurant," where regular folks can have their cake -- and sing, too.Yeah, there's an idea I've been waiting on. Annoying wannabe hacks shitting all over my evening out.
[...]
But it would differ in that serving food would be its top priority, followed by giving regular people -- instead of professional musicians -- an outlet to perform.
Posted by fad at 1:10pm
So that explains it!
Even a mild head injury can have long-term effects on children, researchers have warned.No wonder I'm so stupid and socially inept!
[...]
Forty-three per cent of children with mild head injury had behavioural or learning problems that led to them being described as having a "moderate disability".
Posted by fad at 7:54am
So tomorrow is the release of the theatrical version of The Return of the King on DVD and other lesser forms. I wonder how many places around the country are letting the hobbit-feets camp out for midnight purchases.
Since this was my least favorite of the three, I think I'll be holding out for the fancy-lad version this fall. Sure, I'll rent this version at least once between then and now -- it's not that I dislike it -- but I'm hoping the fancy-lad version fixes some of my problems. Though I know it can't fix the biggest problem: that horrid score that makes bombast blush. With my luck it'll just be another 45 minutes of man-weeping only to discover at the end that George Lucas snuck in and added Hayden Christiansen swooping through the air to catch the ring at the last second. Plus special features disc 3: Sean and Elijah's Accents for Acting. I'd still buy it, though. There are few things more distressing than an incomplete collection.
This was all brought up because last night, in attempted exploitation of the nearness of the release, Cartoon Network aired Ralph Bakshi's genius 1978 animated version of The Lord of the Rings. You can have your fancy, realistic graphics or your big budgets or your awful British-y accents, but for my money, if it ain't rotoscoped, it's crap! The best part about this version is how obvious it is that they ran out of money. Big fighting, then suddenly it's over. Well, that moment and the one where one of the characters spends a couple minutes yelling, "Gandalf!" like Stanley after Stella.
Posted by fad at 7:52am
When I grow up, I want to be a European parliamentarianite.
Posted by fad at 6:42am
May 23rd, 2004
(Image on front page will be eliminated tomorrow as other posts get goin'.)
Posted by fad at 10:54pm
A shiny new donkey to whomever brings me the severed head of Matthew Lesko.
Posted by fad at 1:44pm