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July 16th, 2004

I'm done for this week. Yes, yes, I know. I should have stopped a long time ago.

Enjoy your weekend.

Posted by fad at 5:24pm


Few things can be as stupid or creepy like a fan.
A worker at the Buckner post office spotted white powder on an envelope. The office was sealed off and hazmat crews were called in to check out the situation.
Since it hasn't been blog blared or hit the cable news yet, you can guess it was nothing to worry about. But what exactly was it?
The letter turned out to be a birthday card a 16-year-old fan was sending to Harry Potter in England. The teen apparently sprinkled the card with some "floo powder," which turned out to be harmless talcum powder. In the books by JK Rowling, floo powder helps wizards travel.
Pay really close attention to an important detail, there. Sending a birthday card to a fictional character is creepy enough. Tossing the powder all over it, well, that's just part of the same creepy. But look at the age again, just in case you glided over it. Sixteen years old? Now you just need to be slapped.

Posted by fad at 3:38pm


Well yay.
Medicare now recognizes obesity as an illness, a change in policy that may allow millions of overweight Americans to make medical claims for treatments
[...]
HHS said the policy change is not expected to immediately alter Medicare coverage, and no figures were provided on potential costs to taxpayers.
Oh, there's no rush. They don't need to know that information, anyway. Thank God I don't pay any taxes, or I might have found this news distressing.

Posted by fad at 2:56pm


We haven't had one of these in a while.

1. Steal the first purse you can.

Done.

2. Is there enough cash or other resources in there to get you to Mexico?

Lessee....Tic-Tacs (now 30% bigger!), three nasty looking jelly beans, bunch of receipts for nearby liquor stores, enough make-up to keep me pretty all day long, a couple credit cards, and some cash.

Yup.

3. Sweet!

Not to mention rad!

4. Now, is there enough to keep you stocked in fine, Mexican whores in a manner in which you are accustomed?

Since I am not accustomed to that at all, yet, I suppose cash or no cash qualifies as yes, but I would like to defer this question for further study as data is aquired. At which time, new grants may be required for even further study.

5. Fuckit. Just buy a bunch of tequila.

Done.

Posted by fad at 2:12pm


Leg a little gimpy? That cough just not getting better? Sick of the taste of pus? Well break out your golden calves and count your commandments, Roy Moore's Granite Commandments are a-coming to a town near you (as of this writing, the Granite Commandments Dancers remain unsigned, but we hope to fix that soon).
A veterans group, with the blessing of ousted Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, said it will take his Ten Commandments monument on a national "God Bless America" tour.
Just one gaze upon that holy block of granite (the commandments, not Moore's head) and your limp will fade! Just one touch of that big rock, and your coughing will cease! Just one dip of your garment in a pool of his pomade and you'll never get sick again!

Finally, what the fuck is with guys surnamed Moore? If that were my mine, I'd consider changing because it's inevitable I'd be going nuts soon. At least it's a wonderful, megalomaniacal sort of crazy instead of one of those "eat any farming implement I see" type of crazy.

Posted by fad at 12:35pm


This needs to be made into a Lifetime movie.
The love-struck Romanian took his company to court four years ago for what he said was unfair dismissal. But after setting eyes on Judge Elena Lala, he sued his employers and others dozens of times just to see her.
Oh, wait. He's not evil (well, beyond the inherent evil of being male) and she didn't kill him. So I guess it'll have to be a Comedy Central movie.
[He] lost his first suit. But he won some subsequent ones against other companies including the right to have two towels and enough soap to wash up at work.
I'm sure all those people he dragged into court all those years will laugh off all that frivolousness (and laugh off potentially made up words like 'frivolousness') since it was all for love.

Posted by fad at 11:59am


Whee! More removable data devices have gone missin' from Los Alamos.
After the disappearance last week of two removable data storage devices, officials at Los Alamos National Laboratory yesterday announced a halt to classified research while they conduct an inventory of sensitive data.
[...]
The loss of the storage devices was discovered July 7 during preparations to run an experiment in the laboratory's weapons physics division. The devices have not been found.
At least they proved that the "removable" part of those storage devices is true. That has to provide some satisfaction.

Posted by fad at 7:17am


The State of Washington passed a law banning the sale or rental of certain video games to anyone under 18. Specifically:
[G]ames in which the player kills or injures "a human form who is depicted as a public law enforcement officer."
A federal judge struck down the law for, among other reasons, vagueness.
"The current state of research cannot support the legislative determinations that underlie the Act because there has been no showing that exposure to video games that 'trivialize violence against law enforcement officers' is likely to lead to actual violence against such officers,"
[...]
"Would a game built around 'The Simpsons' or 'Looney Tunes' characters be 'realistic' enough to trigger the act?" he asked. "Do the Roman centurions of 'Age of Empires' ... qualify as 'public law enforcement officers'?"
To which many would answer, "Well, of course not! That's just silly." But you know there are those over zealous For the Children™ groups or officers who would, just because they could. And that's the danger of vagueness.

Posted by fad at 6:48am


I'm typing up something long, boring and, knowing me, unlikely to be actually posted for very long before I delete it. In the meantime, enjoy this careful study of fine alcohol.

Posted by fad at 6:15am


A few years back, a comedian had a routine about what it was like being the only black kid in school. This is how he said his teacher taught the lesson for Black History Month: "First there was slavery, which was awful and wrong. But then came the Civil War and Abraham Lincoln freed all the slaves. Things weren't perfect yet, until Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his great speech. And now we live in perfect equality and harmony."

Obviously it was a lot funnier when he did it, my memory isn't as good as it should be, but you get the point. I always think of a variant of that when I consider the attitude toward Western anti-semitism over the last couple decades. "For thousands of years people distrusted and hated the Jews. Then the Holocaust came, which was awful. After that everyone learned to not hate the Jews forever." I read about the rise of anti-semitism and realize that it never really went away. There is a rise in actions, but not in the sentiment, which has always been there.

I am 30 years old. My parents were born just as the horrors of the Holocaust were being revealed. We are just one and a half generations of people who have come hit adulthood and come into their own politically and social institutionally. That, simply, is not enough time to completely erase thousands of years of prejudice. But it is enough time to let the one blip away from it diminish. I do not believe that anti-semitism diminished because people realized those stereotypes and racism were wrong; I believe it diminished because Jews were now a victim class. The various cultural peccadillos, real or stereotyped, are usually ignored as long as they are from a victim class. So, what I am saying is that the sentiments and beliefs behind anti-semitism stayed, but were drowned for years by victimism. Now that the sense that Jews are a victim class is fading, the default anti-semitism has reasserted itself.

And it is showing up in the oddest places. I think when most of us think of New Zealand, we think of it as a peaceful place of hobbits, socialists and sheep. Yesterday, two Israeli men were detained as suspected spies. Now, we know this happens with Israel. The US caught Israeli spies a number of years ago, too. What they wanted to spy on New Zealand for, is anyone's guess, though. A day after those arrests, this happened.
Vandals attacked 16 graves in the Jewish part of a cemetery in Wellington that dates to the 1880s, a day after Uriel Zoshe Kelman and Eli Cara were jailed for six months for trying to obtain fraudulently a New Zealand passport by assuming the identity of a wheelchair-bound cerebral palsy victim.

"Someone's used some sort of stick or tool to gouge swastikas into the grass around the graves. Words like 'Sieg Heil' have been scratched into the footpath," a city council spokesman said.
New Zealand was totally right to arrest these men, and, if they are spies, to speak harshly to Israel. But someone, could be some average shithead, hears this and goes out to the cemetery to desecrate him some Jew graves. You get the feeling this is his favorite month because it's all about the Jew-lie. To be clear, I'm not trying to single out New Zealand or say that it tolerates or promotes anti-semitism; I'm just trying to point out this ancient sentiment is everywhere and, sadly, never went away. The problem now is that it is getting more and more acceptable to express it once again.

Posted by fad at 6:04am


July 15th, 2004

And here I thought things like this only happened in urban legend.
A portable toilet exploded Tuesday after a man who was inside it lit a cigarette.
[...]
The explosion, which occurred in Blacksville, resulted from a buildup of methane gas inside the portable toilet. The methane did not "take too kindly" to the lit cigarette, said a spokeswoman for Monongalia Emergency Medical Services.
Well, urban legend and West Virginia.

Posted by fad at 6:17pm


Sorry for the brief downtime. This server hosts another blog run on Movable Type. That site just got shitraped by comment spam (or a DDoS that uses the mt-comment.cgi thingy for it's attack since I can't seem to find any actual spam comments on his site) so hard that the 99% of the processor was being used to handle it. It was a solid, 30 minute or more attack. Well, at least I have a long list of IPs and such of nicely infected machines unknowingly spitting out these attacks.

May the felching, splinter fuckers who do this drown in their own blood tonight.

Posted by fad at 4:57pm


One of the fun games to play at Disneyland was "Spot the Security Guard". Actually, it wasn't a very hard game at all. They were easily identifiable by the earphone with gigantic, coiled cord running under their shirt. You know, like TV anchors have. They were sometimes in costumes, sometimes plain clothed, but always easy to spot. Plus many of them had that rent-a-cop need to throw their power around a bit. If you were up to mischief, and paying the slightest bit of attention, you could easily avoid these guys. Um..not that I ever did.

Unfortunately, this is something not often understood by security types.
That dress code, imposed by the Department of Homeland Security, makes federal air marshals uneasy — and not just because casual clothes are more comfortable in cramped airline seats. The marshals fear that their appearance makes it easier for terrorists to identify them
Of course it does. Homeland Security says they put in the dress code because airlines complained marshals were too casual, but I don't think going to the far opposite is the solution. It is a wonderful look at the bureaucratic, one rule to bind them all attitude.

Posted by fad at 4:09pm


Remember, folks, cook your bear thoroughly.
Two cases of the parasitic infection, also known as trichinellosis, were confirmed in a Tennessee couple who ate bear steaks at a barbecue last summer, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in a report.

The meat, which was taken from a black bear shot in Canada during a hunting trip, was cooked medium rare.

Another case surfaced at about the same time in a New York man who ate approximately two pounds of nearly raw bear meat purchased from a custom slaughter house, the Atlanta-based agency said.
Now, the important question here is did he eat all two pounds in one sitting?

Posted by fad at 3:37pm


I originally wasn't going to link this story, but then one of my friends asked a damn good question.
Britain's Science Museum says it is considering a radical way of paying its hefty energy bills -- using visitors' excrement.
[...]
The power produced from the excrement of 100,000 visitors could produce enough to power 500 light bulbs, while also breaking down harmful organic matter, it said.
He asked if you could then count these gifts towards tax deductions. To which another friend (Yes, I have 2!) asked just what exactly is the deduction value of a bucket of shit?

Posted by fad at 1:31pm


Seen whilst driving today: An older Bronco, painted in camouflage, with this painted on the back window:

Just Devorced


Not a typo. One can guess how he pronounces that word. I'll even guess the first syllable is stressed.

Posted by fad at 1:24pm


North Korea is putting up a friendly web face. Where else can you find non-parody headlines like: "Leader appreciates workers' patriotic deeds"?

Sadly, a login and password is required to actually read these great tales, and Bug Me Not doesn't seem to have any available yet. And, if I can be so frank I'm Francis, I don't really want to register there myself.

Posted by fad at 12:02pm


Just last night, the local Simpsons repeat was the one where Homer fakes his death, has trouble proving he's alive and falls into his own grave (looking for his mom's grave). Real life is stranger.
Oleg Lunkov learned of his apparent death when he applied for a passport and was told he died in a bomb blast on Moscow's metro on February 6. His ex-wife thought he was on the train, but being blind, she got her mother to identify the remains.

"I thought, 'I hope they didn't bury me on my birthday'," Lunkov told the Moscow Times after visiting his grave in southeastern Moscow. "But it turns out they did."
I picture the movie in black and white with everyone wearing cloaks and talking to apples.

Posted by fad at 7:44am


The dream is over.
The man who legally changed his name to DotComGuy changed it back Tuesday
[...]
In 2000, Maddox spent one year at home and living off purchases made on the Internet. Video footage of his life was streamed on the Internet 24 hours a day.
Having gone through the dot com era, and subsequent bust causing me to move to the midwest yet again to find a job, I still want to punch him.

Posted by fad at 7:20am


Only nerdy scientists would be excited by the possible detection of ammonia.
Ammonia may have been found in Mars' atmosphere which some scientists say could indicate life on the Red Planet.
[...]
Ammonia survives for only a short time in the Martian atmosphere so it must be getting constantly replenished.

There are two possible sources: either active volcanoes, none of which have been found yet on Mars, or microbes.
My guess is it's pollution. From Halliburton. Drawn straight from Dick Cheney's own urine. His "own urine" as opposed to his large collection of other people's. You know he has one. Just look at him. That's a pee hoarder if I ever saw one.

Posted by fad at 6:37am


Think a story about a former Tarzan actor's tiger escaping into the Florida wild can't get stranger? Well you thought wrong, stupidhead.
The Loxahatchee woman who offered her pig as bait to capture Bobo the tiger will be cited for animal cruelty for hauling the 5-month-old porker in her trunk, according to Animal Care and Control Director Diane Sauve.
[...]
Meredith, wearing a tiger print and a gold lion medallion, pleaded with deputies to take the piglet named Baby by its hind legs or twist its ears to make it squeal and attract the hungry tiger.
It's nice to know there are helpful and resourceful people everywhere.

Posted by fad at 6:22am


Brain sludgey in morning this. Here is nice story.
Eight soldiers flying home from Iraq for two weeks of R&R flew in style instead of coach after first-class passengers offered to swap seats with them.
[...]
The June 29 seat-swap on American Airlines Flight 866 from Atlanta to Chicago started before boarding, when a businessman approached one of the soldiers and traded his seat.
In the scheme of things, it's a small thing, but good on them.

Posted by fad at 6:13am


July 14th, 2004

I like it when the news applies to me. I find me interesting, so topics related to me also interest me.
Writing in the journal Arthritis & Rheumatism, the researchers said they had found lower rates of arthritis in the hands of the double-jointed people they studied, even though the subjects came from families with a history of osteoarthritis.
Viva la freaky hands!

Posted by fad at 5:50pm


Doing its part to help speed along viral evolution by killing off all the weak ones right away, Kimberly-Clark is introducing a new product.
The consumer-goods giant has been working on an anti-viral tissue for several years, and company officials are confident they've got a winner in Kleenex Anti-Viral.
You know, you would've thought they would've figured out sooner that the one named "Anti-Viral" was the anti-viral one.

Posted by fad at 4:04pm


Damn. I was going to attack with most righteous wrath something in this release.
Prime Minister Helen Clark has visited the set of upcoming film "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe," adapted from the second installment of C.S. Lewis' seven-book fantasy series, the New Zealand Herald newspaper reported Tuesday.
For, you see, everyone knows that Prince Caspian was the second book. Then I found this information.
All current editions of the books, however, number them in a slightly different order
[...]
This order reflects the chronological sequence of events in the books themselves.
Since it's what I'm used to, I prefer the published order. Plus The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is written to be a book #1. I declare this second order faulty, wrong and against nature. Plus my set has li'l numbers on the spines which create my reality.

Posted by fad at 3:20pm


And now trackbacks aren't working....

fuckit.

Posted by fad at 2:57pm


For some damn reason today every time I try to type a '0' (that's a zero, by the way), I hit 'o' instead. It's like reverse l337 sp34k. And it needs to stop.

Posted by fad at 2:09pm


And Barbie thought math was hard.
Two highly radioactive pieces of spent nuclear fuel were found Tuesday where they belong, in the Vermont Yankee nuclear plant's spent fuel pool, three months after they were reported missing.
Turns out counting's the real bitch.

(Yeah, I'm being unfair. You would be too, if you'd seen the things I've seen. Like Gallagher, for instance.)

Posted by fad at 2:02pm


This is the most fucked up version of poker I've seen in a while. To avoid search hits, I've changed the names.
The winner was supposed to point a gun loaded with one bullet to the head of the person to the right and pull the trigger.

[Thompson] won but refused to be the first one to use the gun, officials said. So [Smith] loaded the gun with a single bullet, spun the cylinder and held the weapon to [Thompson]'s head, [...]
[Smith] pulled the trigger and killed [Thompson]
It's not totally who would think up this variation (which someone will probably tell me comes from a movie or something), but who the hell would agree to it?

Posted by fad at 12:36pm


Hey women, you've just been handed the harshest insult possible.
The former chairwoman of the New York State Democratic Party on Wednesday called it "a total outrage" and "very stupid" that Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has not been offered a prominent speaking role at the Democratic National Convention.

"It's a slap in the face, not personally for Hillary Clinton, but for every woman in the Democratic Party and every woman in America," said Judith Hope, a major party fund-raiser.
Bold tags added in solidarity at what must be your incredible outrage. This truly sets you back 100 years. Take to the streets, ladies! Some of that naked protesting may be required.

Posted by fad at 7:37am


Remember that jagoff Representative Bill Janklow (R - OUTTA MY WAY, JERKASS!) of South Dakota? He killed a guy in a car accident, then tried to weasel out of it (turns out the state nicely hid more than a dozen of his other driving violations back when he was governor). Of course the victim's family is suing for civil damages. Well, guess who gets to pay the tab?
A federal magistrate says former South Dakota Congressman Bill Janklow was on duty the day he caused an accident that killed a Hardwick, Minnesota, man.

That means federal taxpayers would pay any civil damages awarded from a wrongful death lawsuit
The family's lawyer wants that reversed because there's more cha-ching if the case stays in the state, but as of right now, you can take pride in your tax-dollars at work due to Janklow's service.

Posted by fad at 7:33am


Sleep? HA! Sleep is for the weak! Or for those who actually want a coherent thought or two come the next day. I can handle my usual insomnia, with its stop-start couple-few hours of sleep on a good night, but... fah too tired to finish post good.

Posted by fad at 6:58am


July 13th, 2004

Time to admit failure. I know, I know. Me and failure are so rarely linked. I hope you were sitting when you read that.

I saw this story early this morning
Chipmunks may not be big, but some of them were pretty hardy. New research indicates a group of the minute mammals toughed it out through the last ice age rather than migrating south.
[...]
Scientific theory has held that most animals would flee southward to escape the encroaching glaciers, but that appeared to be the case for only a minority of the chipmunks.
and tried and tried to come up with jokes for it. I know they're in there, but I just can't dig them out. It's like digging in the cooler for that last good beer amongst all the Old Style and Stag.

Posted by fad at 5:21pm


Trackbacks actually do appear to be working! Now if only they went to the right post....

Posted by fad at 3:48pm


From the Institute Of Way Too Much Idle Time comes this spammers dream information.
After I received 80,730 different emails trying to sell viagra, I started to wonder: How many different ways are there to spell Viagra?
[...]
1,300,925,111,156,286,160,896
Though it drops to 600,426,974,379,824,381,952 depending on which method he uses.

Posted by fad at 3:37pm


I know what I'm doing for my next vacation.
A Delaware college student ate a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms and drove around in a pair of stolen cars before arriving, confused, on a mountain in Connecticut, police said.
He was, at least, a very honest young man.
''I think I stole a car,'' [he] told a dispatcher. ''I'm not sure.''

Police said [he ...] confessed that eating an entire bag of mushrooms ''probably wasn't a good idea.''
And he's got a solid head on his shoulders, too.
He told police he remembers taking a train to La Guardia Airport in New York, where he found a car with its keys in it. He's unsure where he went from there.
But he eventually ended up at a mountain in Connecticut where the most natural of ideas came to him.
In Canaan, he decided to climb Music Mountain to see what was on the other side, police said.
Wonder if he was humming that "Bear Went Over the Mountain" song?

Posted by fad at 1:42pm


As Missouri makes escaping jury duty more difficult, let's look at the system at work.
From the very beginning, the lone juror said she couldn't join the others and convict the young woman on trial for murder.

Not because of the evidence, but because the woman was just too young -- 16 -- when the crime occurred. The juror told the others she simply couldn't understand how anyone that age could kill someone.

The juror refused to deliberate, she sent a note to the judge, she even locked herself in the bathroom.
Reminds me of my one time on a jury when the first words of deliberation were from a skippy-mcgee who said, "Well, I'm voting not guilty because that cop looked like a jerk!"

Posted by fad at 1:32pm


I applaud his focus and dedication to the environment.
Three times was a charm for police who apprehended a teen bicyclist after the third robbery in a week of the same gas station.
Perhaps it could be better applied, but it's still a start.

Posted by fad at 7:45am


Looking at the logs, I see now that Google knows that this site is a blog. It continually tries to crawl the non-existent files of "index.rdf", "atom.xml", etc. that are common with almost all real blogging systems. Since those files have never existed here under this domain, I'm curious what exactly that's for. Some new unknown service? Now, I'm not curious in a paranoid way. Ok, a little paranoid. A lot. I can't help it that they're after.....ugh, nope. Not even I will lower myself to that ancient joke that the kings of clever like to use.

Posted by fad at 6:51am


Painfully unfunny Al Franken -- and I thought he was awful long before he decided, despite a total lack of evidence, he was a genius political commentator and satirist -- has changed the name of his radio show. Which I'm sure most are surprised is still on.
Al Franken's radio show, "The O'Franken Factor," is changing its name to "The Al Franken Show."

The new, more typical, show name was chosen over candidates such as "The O'Limbaugh Factor" and "The O'President Bush Factor," Franken said in a statement Monday.
Wow. Those sure are knee slappers. If by "knee" you mean "head" and by "slappers" you mean "beat repeatedly against the wall in hopes that he'll stop trying to rape humor with these horribly unfunny lines". There's nothing like hanging a joke out there like "O'Franken Factor" that nobody gives a damn about. You could just hear the, "eh? eh? You get it? I put an 'O' in front of my name because of the funny with the O'Reilly and the suing and the hey-hey I'm funny!" in the air with that.

Posted by fad at 6:32am


Well, the random, passerby reader used book store didn't work out. This isn't all that surprising since it's hard to believe there are a lot of people out there with extraneous Shaw lying around. Well, other than maybe recent college graduates with English degrees who suddenly realize, "Fuck! I have an English degree!" But I still think it was worth a shot.

Posted by fad at 6:12am


July 12th, 2004

(Newer posts will appear below this one.)

Let's see if the random used-bookstore of passerby readers can produce anything.

So, does anyone have any spare G. B. Shaw, whether his own works or criticisms of his works, that they would be willing to sell?

If so, please email me at the address over to your left. Please don't use the comments for this.

Posted by fad at 11:21pm


Think you know how to fold a shirt? Ha! You don't know how to fold a shirt.

(has sound, but isn't necessary for the experience)

Posted by fad at 5:22pm


Interesting. The New York Times is trying serializing novels again.
The New York Times is borrowing from newspaper history and serializing a novel, the classic summer tale ``The Great Gatsby,'' by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Toby Usnik, a spokesman for the Times, said the paper will also serialize three other novels this summer under the same sponsorship program: ``Like Water for Chocolate,'' by Laura Esquivel; ``Breakfast at Tiffany's,'' by Truman Capote and ``The Color of Water'' by James McBride.
What? No Atlas Shrugged, complete with heavy-handed, boring-ass radio rant and stupid-ass car chase ending?

Posted by fad at 2:19pm


*Shudder*...There are things in this life that, once seen, cannot be unseen no matter how much we claw at our eyes, no matter how much we drink, no matter how much we bleed.

Posted by fad at 1:57pm


Once again I am foolishly claiming that trackbacks may be working again.

Yes, I'm a fool for even trying, but making those work is the only thing keeping me going anymore.

Posted by fad at 12:09pm


The pleasant weather of June fled immediately upon July 1st. Since then the humidity has been charging up all for these few days right now. It is hot and humid outside. I will avoid the usual, moldy banter about "dry heat" versus this insanity here, other than this: I've been in 125 degrees before and said, "Damn! It's hot! Hot, I tells ya!" However, in this weather here, with its humidity, I'm left only able to mumble sonnets in a modified Cantonese.

At least it makes terraforming a loaf of bread a snap.

Here ends today's weather bitching.

Posted by fad at 11:26am


Homeland Security floats the idea of a delayed election should there be a catastrophic attack. This will, of course, send the usuals tizzying about how this is the first step in Bush's plan to suspend all democratic institutions in America. The evil plan will either allow an attack, or actually execute it. Then, elections will be delayed, Bush will remain president until such time as "it is safe", both physically and from the undue influence of "terrorists". Yes, you're thinking, that's all obvious, but the fun part is one detail that will really send them shitstream.
Newsweek said the discussions about whether the November 2 election could be postponed started with a recent letter to Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge from DeForest Soaries Jr., chairman of the U.S. Election Assistance Commission.
[...]
Soaries, who was appointed by President Bush, is a former New Jersey secretary of state and senior pastor of the 7,000-member First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens in Somerset.
That's right! The religious right is involved too! All a little too convenient and "coincidental", don't you think? Night is falling, people. Start memorizing the books now so that future generations can enjoy the wisdom of Al Franken, Michael Moore, et. al. I'll be taking on Madonna's children's books.

Posted by fad at 7:31am


I got to enjoy another condescending cashier moment, of sorts, over the weekend. I was in a video game store and made the mistake of causually asking if there was a hard release date for DOOM3 yet. Almost as soon as the words slipped out, I knew I'd made a mistake. You see, there are no casual questions in a video game store.

"The X-Box version comes out on this date."

"Yes, but I more interested in the PC release date."

"Why don't you want the X-Box version?"

"Well, because I don't have an X-Box."

"Why don't you have an X-Box? What's wrong with the X-Box?"

"Um....I've never had a reason to get an X-Box."

"Now you do!"

"No, because I prefer to play first person shooters on the PC. Plus I don't want a system for just one game."

"But there's Halo!"

"I'm not interested in Halo."

"You don't want Halo? What's wrong with Halo?"

"Good-bye."

Posted by fad at 6:34am