September 17th, 2004

Bleah

Well, that was a really shitty week of effort around here on my part. I think it's best to just quit now. Have a good weekend. For those who were or know people who were hit by the storms, I hope damage and cleanup are minor.

Posted by fad at 5:24pm

I Can't Think Of A Title

Gotta love the zealousness of the police and Secret Service.

During the trial, police testified that they wanted Scott, who was holding a "Fire Bush" sign, to move away from the shoulder of the road because he was creating a safety problem and because the U.S. Secret Service wanted protesters at least 10 feet from the street.

Mounted patrol officer Rita Harden testified that Scott had resisted and had run across the street. A videotape of the confrontation showed that Harden used her horse to bump Scott into the street, but it never showed him running away.

Police testified that they asked both Bush supporters and Scott to move, but the video and still photographs contradicted that claim, defense attorney Mary Parker said.

Damn people always videotaping and providing evidence.

"I'm very relieved," he said Tuesday. "I've not been tried as a criminal before."

I was tried as a platypus once.

Posted by fad at 3:03pm

House of Squalor

I sure hope this was caught on tape.

A worried neighbor's call to Animal Control led to a bizarre scene at a southern Illinois home: Four officers wrestling an alligator out of a hot tub, a house filled with animal cages, and the arrest of a man wanted by the military for desertion.

Sounds like the perfect storm COPS episode.

One, an 18-year-old from Lockport, came up listed as wanted by the military for desertion. The man was being held Thursday on a military pickup order at the Franklin County Jail, Sheriff Bill Wilson said.

The officers also found cages for large snakes, a room full of rats and mice, and several squirrels inside the house.

Squirrels? After all those others, squirrels? Well, as Miss Piggy said, they are the devil's oven mitts.

Posted by fad at 2:07pm

Li'l Help

Can anyone recommend a good and free RSS Reader for Windows or Linux? Nothing fancy, just something that lets me know when there's something new to be found.

Posted by fad at 1:53pm

A Snifter Of Port At Christmas

I don't want it to look like I'm mocking the dead, but this is incredible.

A 19-year-old Colorado State University student found dead in a fraternity house died of accidental alcohol poisoning, the county coroner said Friday.

[The Woman]...had a blood-alcohol level of 0.436

0.436? Someone had to be force feeding her or something. That's just amazing (almost said impressive, but that's pretty callous).

Posted by fad at 1:23pm

We Find The Defendent To Be Jush A Great Guy

Those who have been on jury duty know it can really, really suck. Well, turns out that it's within our rights to pass that time more pleasantly.

But Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Ellen Coin cited a 1987 Supreme Court decision which rejected the argument that jurors consuming alcohol, smoking marijuana, snorting cocaine and falling asleep constituted an "outside influence" on jurors.
[...]
"However severe their effect and improper their use, drugs or alcohol voluntarily ingested by a juror seem no more an 'outside influence' than a virus, poorly prepared food, or lack of sleep," the Supreme Court said in its decision.

So bring a flask and settle in next time your civic duty calls.

Posted by fad at 11:16am

Whee!

Looks like it's a rousing game of "What's More fun: Sitemeter Being Down Or Blogrolling?"

Posted by fad at 7:05am

The Timmy Factor

I mention this concept every once in a while, but for those who may not know it, here's a primer. When I was in college, after an early class, I came back to my room to nap a bit, but forgot to lock my door. After about 20 minutes, in walked one of my friends and two others. One walked immediately to my computer and started messing with it, but I barely noticed that because of the other. The other was the little brother of another friend. His name was Timmy*. Upon seeing him, without knowing a single thing about him, my first instinct was to go beat the living crap out of him. He just projected this....something that caused instant disgust and dislike. Another friend of mine experienced the exact same sensation when he first met Timmy. We named this something The Timmy Factor. It's a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being mildly instantly annoying to 10 being blind, red-visioned rage.

The guy on the left has a very high Timmy Factor. I didn't even know what the story was when I first saw the picture. I just caught a glimpse of him, and felt the urge to hunt him down and beat the crap out of him just for looking like that.

All this said, that dad is a dumbass, at best. I hate it when parents exploit their children at political rallies or marches. I could maybe see taking the kids to rally for your candidate, but not to one for the opponent. That's just plain stupid. I almost suspect this guy knew he and his kids would get harrassed and went anyway.

UPDATE: Yup, starting to smell like this guy likes to go around causing trouble and using his kids as both shield and photo-op. If so, what a shitwipe. Still wanna kick the crap out of the other guy just for looking like that, though.

Posted by fad at 6:56am

September 16th, 2004

The Way To Go

I like his ideas and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

Posted by fad at 2:35pm

Nouse

I don't think I'd like this.

Dmitry Gorodnichy ... has developed a computer navigation system that relies on the movements of a user's nose to direct a cursor...

For good measure, a simple blink of the right or left eye corresponds to the right or left click of a mouse button,

That'd leave me all twitchy for hours. And not all that fun with contacts. And what about those who cannot wink with both eyes? I say this technology needs to be destroyed and all mention of it burned.

Posted by fad at 2:30pm

Self Correction

I'm sure most remember that picture from the Beslan murders of a bloodied hand dangling a cross in its palm. I always thought that hand belonged to one of the dead.

The girl shown in an Associated Press photo that ran on front pages worldwide is now recovering in a Moscow hospital, a piece of shrapnel embedded in her brain.
[...]
After days of being confined to bed, Victoria took her first cautious steps Wednesday. She's expected to be hospitalized for about a month, and then to travel with her family to a sanatorium for further recuperation.

How glad I am to be wrong.

Posted by fad at 1:21pm

Strangest Thing I Typed Today

"This just proves that Charles Dickens didn't die, but attained a new consciousness in which he usurped God."

Posted by fad at 12:55pm

Something Relearned In Line Today

When somebody has to tell you they possess some attribute, or must loudly describe themselves as something, they do not possess that attribute, nor are they what they think they are. Examples: If someone has to tell you they are smart, they are not smart (at least in any exceptional way). Or, to take the example I just endured, if you have to declare loudly to the room that you're "just a jokester", you are not. Were you, we all would have been laughing. Instead, you are just loud and annoying. And in this case fat.

Posted by fad at 12:02pm

Random Phrase I Cannot Stand Yet Find Myself Using On Occasion

Funnily enough

Posted by fad at 11:52am

Bad Trend

The new nickel coming next year. Have to say, I don't like the new up-close-n-personal profile. But they didn't ask me, so what're ya gonna do.

Posted by fad at 11:10am

Far Too Cheap; Far Too Easy

This is not encouraging news.

Two Chechen women suspected of blowing up Russian passenger jets last month were briefly detained by police before the flights but bribed at least one airline employee to get on the planes, media reports said yesterday.

And at what price were the passengers' lives bought?

One of the alleged suicide bombers used an intermediary to pay $34 to a Sibir airlines employee to board a jet, even though she had a ticket for a flight the next day

Thirty four dollars.

Posted by fad at 10:19am

Wrong

This has to be the worst headline of the day:

"Open Wide for Peter Pan"

Then to read the article and discover that Dave Barry is co-writing a prequel trilogy to Peter Pan.

Posted by fad at 9:10am

Ivan

Ivan is being pretty horrific. I don't think anyone from that area stops by around here, but if so, hope you're all safe.

Posted by fad at 8:58am

Since I Have Nothing Else

Time for a mid month review of this month's wacky search hits. Well, besides all the searches for "goat fucking" or that Dick Cheney is evil.

fatburger calorie information: If you feel the need to look up the caloric content of something from a place named Fatburger, then you don't deserve to eat there.
free cooking poems: Who knew people were charging for them?
exactly how do lions digest their food: Inside each lion is a small organ made of steel that works as a blender.
grants for beer bait whores: Finally. Something good my tax dollars may be doing.
orangutan pr0n: When you find some, send me the link. It's been ages since I found a good orangutan porn site.
ELIJAH WOOD'S NEW GIRLFRIEND THAT HE'S IN LOVE WITH 2004: Uh oh, someone let John Edwards get to google again. Bet he's behind those hits looking for Elijah's penis size too.
stew the dick: Umm....gah! and ew.
free movies hot teens suck fuck dutchland .de: I'm so proud of this site.

Posted by fad at 6:05am

September 15th, 2004

No Sign of Tub Girl

Long time interneters who had a popular, unfortunate prank pulled on them will find Time's newest cover rather funny.

Posted by fad at 12:43pm

September 14th, 2004

Bottoms Up

More evidence that moderate drinking is good for the ticker.

The researchers, who reported their findings in the journal Heart, found that patients who drank little or no alcohol had more blocked arteries, worse cholesterol levels and poorer heart function than patients who drank 50 grams of alcohol, or about a bottle of wine or 2.5 litres of beer, a week.

Now if only all those other pesky organs would get their acts together.

Posted by fad at 4:40pm

Golldangit

The price of having been at this blog thing for sometime: You find yourself deep into a post when you realize you already told that story before. Twice.

Posted by fad at 4:13pm

Cowardice of the Style Sheet

The headline:

"Australia PM vows not to bow to militants"

The quote:

"We do not negotiate with terrorists," he said.

The findings: The AP can't even get itself to use the word "terrorists" even when it is the precise word used by the referred to speaker. At the very least they could have put quotes around the word in the headline.

Posted by fad at 12:56pm

Clear The Fog

UPDATE: Wow, that was whiny and pretentious. Won't happen again. At least for a while, I hope.

UPDATE: Ok, it was just whiny.

Posted by fad at 12:16pm

Ahhht

Here's today's update from the wacky world of art.

A collage of toenail clippings is going on display at Gateshead's Baltic contemporary arts centre.

Uruguayan artist Carlos Capelan's clippings feature in Only You, which "playfully explores issues of self, ego and identity", the centre said.

I call dibs on displaying a Booger Flicked Bathroom Stall as art. It will include a toilet with moldy ring around the bowl's water line which will represent the swirling decay of life as we are flushed into nothingness.

Posted by fad at 6:22am

I Draw The Line At Mimes

In honor of next week's release of the Star Wars: The Version I Like This Week trilogy on DVD, here's some screenshots of some of the new changes and additions over at Something Awful.

Posted by fad at 6:07am

September 13th, 2004

Yeah, This One Sucks

"Disney Dissidents Want Eisner Out Earlier Than 2006"

"Dissidents"? What? No "militants" or "activists"? Once again, Reuters lets me down. I've distrusted them ever since that time at that teamwork seminar when it was supposed to catch me as I fell backwards, but didn't. Mostly because it's a corporation and doesn't have a real body. But I'll still never forgive it.

Posted by fad at 3:51pm

Top 5 Thoughts In My Head Right Now

...is that cheese?

Posted by fad at 2:41pm

A Meaningless Observation From Me To You

I've been reading the same book v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y during lunches over the last four months. Friday I finally finished it. Approaching lunchtime today, it felt really odd knowing that I wasn't going to go there anymore.

This has been another Meaningless Observation From Me To You. For transcripts of previous MOFMTYs, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Al Gore because I'm busy.

Posted by fad at 12:11pm

We can now add Virginia to the list of states receiving explosive letters.

A letter rigged to ignite when opened and bound for Virginia's governor's office was intercepted Monday, officials said.

Other states that can be added are Hawaii, Oregon, Vermont, Arizona, Wyoming and Colorado for a total of 15.

Posted by fad at 11:15am

Cold and Posable

Well. Now I'm not looking forward to my next trip to California as much anymore.

Having sex with corpses is now officially illegal in California after Schwarzenegger signed a bill barring necrophilia, a spokeswoman said yesterday. The new law makes sex with a corpse a felony punishable by up to eight years in prison.

First they banned smoking in bars, now this. Stupid PATRIOT Act.

Posted by fad at 10:18am

Splat

Now this is how a penguin hitting game should be.

Posted by fad at 10:03am

Had Time To Kill

I watched that Brainwashing 101 movie over the weekend. It was ok. I suppose It would rate higher if I didn't find Mr. Maloney's voice and vocal style so damn irritating. Also, while I'm not a Hello Kitty hater, having one of your major interviewees sitting in front of a ginormous Hello Kitty doll is a bit distracting and undermining.

Posted by fad at 9:57am

Taters

I've been waiting for someone to do something like this. Now I no longer have to.

(Requires sound and a little patience. And a healthy ability to handle disappointment.)

Posted by fad at 9:25am

Written Just To Use The Term Hippiedoodle

One the point below, we have a governor to elect here in Missouri. The candidates are Claire McCaskill, who was convinced by someone in her campaign that white text on a yellow background is aces for bumper stickers and signs, and Matt Blunt, who is 34, looks 25 and sounds 17. Yesterday I saw my first ad for Blunt. It was filled with the usual vague hippiedoodle about wonderous plans to make the skies rain marshmallows or something. And, as is typical, included a scene with him wearing safety goggles to show he authentically knows the problems of the working man (always defined as someone who has to wear safety goggles at their job, apparently). It also included the cliche of looking at a book in a room filled with microscopes when talking about education. I'm beginning to think there's just a machine somewhere that spits out these ads. I prefer thinking that than considering that someone was paid lots and lots of money, actually sat around thinking real, real hard, and ended up pumping out the same old crap.

Posted by fad at 6:50am

Campaign Commercial Cliche That Needs To Die

The shot of the candidate wearing safety goggles which is supposed to make us believe he or she is down with the workin' man.

Posted by fad at 6:43am

September 12th, 2004

Budgie Love

My subscription to Reason officially expired in June. As is typical in the magazine business, I have gotten two "free" issues (i.e. subsidized by real subscribers). As I wrote before, the Reason I originally enjoyed is long gone. The Reason of Virginia Postrel was positive and one of ideas. The Reason of Nick Gillespie is one of cynicism and ideological purity. Postrel's wanted you to consider new ideas, practical solutions and engagement. Gillespie's wants to make damn sure you stay on the ranch. While there is some diversity of opinion in his magazine, what unites, and defines, the magazine is that there are ideas which are verboten. Mostly these are found on the right, but where doesn't matter. I reject this close-minded arrogance. This is not engagement of ideas. This is a religion of smugness.

I was just going to pitch this issue into the trash as usual, but decided to save it for couple weeks until the weather cools a bit more. Then, I shall burn it. Sure, it's an empty, stupid and useless gesture. But, then again, burning shit is always fun.

Posted by fad at 9:28pm

My Life Is Not Defined By Your Revisioned Youth

If these memos turn out to be real (and it's fun finding out that since a typewriter might have possibly been able to perfectly match a modern Word document, that means it must have), then I hope that Killian bought that typewriter with his own money. I'll be real pissed to learn my parents tax dollars were wasted buying fancy-ass typewriters for National Guard memo writing.

Actually, no I won't. As I am in the 25 to 35 year old age group, I'm goddamn sick of boomers and Vietnam. I was sick of hearing about it in the 80s. Now, at 30 years old, I'm even more sick of it all.

Posted by fad at 8:38pm