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November 19th, 2004

Hang-Up

Ok, bye-bye. Talk to you soon.

Posted by fad at 5:30pm

Things I Have Learned From Years Of Playing Games

Whenever the game gives you a new weapon, or you enter an area loaded with health and ammo, you're screwed.

Posted by fad at 4:51pm

Small Amusements

So, sorry for the nonsense today. For some reason the idea of publishing a whole day's worth of posts at one time amused me. Still does. Probably annoyed you, but, hey, that's your problem.

Posted by fad at 4:14pm

Random Competition Award

Winner of oddest thing to read out of context so far today.
"We cannot come out and say that (former U.S.) President John F. Kennedy was a shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team and so Warner cannot come out and say Alexander was gay,"

Posted by fad at 2:17pm

With Cheese

"Man in mall shooting had anger issues"

Personally, I would have guessed he was just gassy, but that's why they're the experts and I'm the bucket of shit.

Posted by fad at 1:55pm

Porcelain Though He May Be

Now we're talking religious experience.
Six cases of beer for a stolen baby Jesus.

That's the deal an Australian brewing company is offering. Someone swiped the infant Christ figure from a nativity scene this week.
Return the baby Jesus and drink until you see God.

Posted by fad at 12:52pm

Just A Rambling Day

Nothing spices up lunch in an ethnic retaurant like the one guy who has to loudly go through each menu item overly stressing his "proper" pronunciations of each attempting to also impress all of us (or he wouldn't be that loud) with his knowledge of the minutest of ingredients.

But, then again, I can't really talk. I'm a contemptible anti-snob. Having known or seen people who are the type to situate themselves in a room so that the title of their book or magazine could be easily read by all -- and being very annoyed by that behavior -- I have reacted by taking extreme measures of posture and book torture to make sure no-one can see the cover of or information about the book I'm reading. It's really quite foolish. Yeah, the easier solution is to be eating with someone else, but, well, that ain't happening too often.

Posted by fad at 12:00pm

Kidneys

Ok.....This post just got another comment offering to sell a kidney, this time from some guy in Hungary (comment has since been deleted). What's with the big international push these days? Anyway, I think it's time to close comments there.

Posted by fad at 11:54am

All Mute Channel

Sheryl Crow has a stalker?
A former US Navy diver charged with stalking and harassing singer Sheryl Crow had "a dangerous obsession", prosecutors told a court on Thursday.
I could maybe understand it on a visual level, but wouldn't just the sound of her singing be enough to chase anyone beyond the range of a restraining order?

Posted by fad at 11:00am

Little Pishers Needed Some Fear

My dad was a teacher for over 30 years. Wish he'd done something like this.
Pupils were left in tears after a teacher told them that an asteroid was about to hit Earth and kill them all.

The spoof announcement was designed to teach 14-year-olds the importance of seizing the day but backfired after they became visibly frightened.
Here's my favorite detail.
It is also believed that the students were told that they should go home and say "final farewells" to their families.
A quick thinker would have been able to sneak out and convince another student to give in to some armageddon sex. Unless it was a single sex school. Nah, probably even then.

Posted by fad at 10:57am

He Was Fine. Just A Bruise And A Scratch

Eleven years old, at a weekend campout with a bunch of other kids the same age. Just walking about the park, hit a clearing with a big mound of dirt in the middle. Suddenly one of our number is struck with a dirt clod, then another with a small rock. Looking around, we see another group of kids about the same age that we don't know, but know now are the enemy. A war we didn't want, but weren't going to back away from.

The two sides work around each other eventually gathering on sides of the dirt mound, the only real shelter there. Clods and small rocks launching over its peak. Then, slow motion starts. One of our kids grabs a large rock and walks, as through water, to the top of the hill dumping the rock down the other side.

*Thump*

Silence.

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SCATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We run, each in a completely different direction, to work our way back to camp at a later, safer time. Some take 30 minutes. Some more than an hour. Rock boy shows up three hours later. Adults are never informed.

Epilogue: We ran into the kids the next day, and they complimented us on a fine fight. Turns out the kid hit was the extra whiny one none of them really liked anyway. Ah, the wonder and morals of youth.

(Story recalled because of this)

Posted by fad at 10:53am

Seriously, It's Nice To See How Such Things Help

Awww...

Posted by fad at 10:29am

Yes, I Realize I'm Just As Hypocritical Here

One of the fun aspects that comes out whenever the "looking to be offended over anything" moralist idiots pop their corks is hearing the lockjawed, super self-righteous screechings of those too sophistimicated to be offended by such tripe who need to let everyone know that as much as possible. It's like back when Janet Jackson's flopout happened. Initially those who complained were annoying enough, but the shouts by those offended that people were offended soon became quite a lot more tiresome. But in both cases it makes them feel superior to the other, so far be it from me to step in the way of someone's ego warming.

Posted by fad at 10:21am

Nitpiks-R-Fad

It's unlikely I'll see Oliver Stone's new Alexander movie. Not because I have no interest in the story, but I figure there are better, more accurate and less crazy in the not-all-that-fun way of crazy sources available.

Another reason is that the big quote in the commercials already cracks me up. The big line has Alexander shouting to his men, "Conquer your fears and I promise you will conquer death!" It's not the words, but the accent Colin Farrell is using. It sounds like some parody of a fratboy surfer. Admittedly, that probably isn't how he will sound for the whole movie, but it already has me laughing, so I'd probably be looking for it.

No, there wasn't any other purpose of this post other than to make fun of his accent.

Posted by fad at 10:16am

Gate Keepers

Librarians want to rob you of your civil liberties just because they have an extra strong desire to educate and enlighten themselves.
Keeping library books too long could soon land some readers in jail.

Frustrated librarians want the worst offenders to face criminal charges and up to 90 days behind bars.
But how will they know who to charge since they destroyed all their records to keep them from the clutching, Jesus stained claws of AshKKKroft?

Posted by fad at 9:15am

November 18th, 2004

I Like To Pretend The Ladies Like Me

"Senate hears testimony on porn addiction"

And they didn't call me? Clearly these hearings are incomplete as I could provide loads of testimony (and links!). Especially when their solution to this awful, awful problem is Billboards! Ads! Studies! Ah, porn, where the religious right and the extreme feminist left always find away to almost join hands (almost, because actually doing so would be naughty or exploitive depending upon which you ask). Sure, some people have problems (that sometimes cause harm to others than just themselves), but basically my cynical heart just sees these things as social do-gooder groups begging for money which, once they have, they pretty much can get each year from then on out.

Posted by fad at 6:30pm

Mmm...Kool-Aid

The Jonestown mass suicide was 26 years ago today. Or at least discovered. Just an interesting factoid. No other reason to mention.

Oh. I'll be having a party tonight. Everyone is welcome. Bring your friends. Punch will be provided.

Posted by fad at 3:48pm

Is There Anything He Can't Do?

I didn't know David Crosby was a lawyer.

Posted by fad at 3:21pm

So Ronery

Let's look at the timeline. First, Team America is released, then this.
Officials in North Korea have removed portraits of ruler Kim Jong Il from some public buildings, and its state-run media reportedly have dropped his honorific title "Dear Leader" in a dramatic curtailment of his personality cult.
If you think this is just a coincidence, then you are a goddamned fool. And likely a liar. Bet you smell too.

UPDATE: And your momma dresses you funny.

Posted by fad at 1:20pm

Ideas From Spam

A spam just received had a subject line which may need to become this site's new tagline.

Farm Accident Digest: Covered In A Putrid

Posted by fad at 11:53am

Still Can Barely Eat The Stuff

Note to self: No matter how many times you try, a story about puking up your pumpkin pie all over your brother's favorite Batman and the Joker bedspread when you were 4 causing the twenty or more stuffed-with-food people gathered to be rather grossed out when you dragged it into the living room to announce to your mom that you were sick, just can't be made all that interesting.

Posted by fad at 10:16am

My Drug Makes Me Pee, Not Cough

It's Great American Smokeout Day! The day during which I take up smoking, then quit immediately so that I can act even more smugly superior to you filthy, nasty smokers and your persecution complexes.

Actually, I would do that, but I haven't had any caffeine for over a day and a half and am barely functional.

Posted by fad at 10:01am

Jehovah

This is nearly straight out of Monty Python.
Defying Islamic traditions, a Bahraini woman disguised herself as a bearded Muslim sheikh to lead Friday prayers but was stopped before she reached the pulpit, a cleric said on Thursday.
[...]
"At first I didn't think it was a woman. I thought it was just a cleric I didn't know. Then when her beard began to slide off and her voice grew soft during a scuffle we found out she was a woman," the sheikh said.
Wonder if it'll end in a stoning as well.

Only barely related to the topic, but I sometimes wonder if Monty Python and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" suddenly never happened, would more than half of all blog comments cease to exist?

Posted by fad at 7:07am

Blah Blah Blah He Bores Again

Oh no! The Children™ are being exposed to sweet, sweet violence!
A Bristol Royal Hospital for Children team found the frequency of nursery rhyme violence was more than 10 times greater than in pre-9pm programmes.
[...]
Half of the TV programmes contained violence, compared with 44% of the nursery rhymes.

But the levels of accidental and aggressive violence were twice as high in the nursery rhymes as they were on TV, the researchers said.

Overall, there were almost five violent scenes per hour of viewing on TV - but there were more than 52 per hour of listening to nursery rhymes.
The point of the study was mostly to show that TeeVee isn't the pure, sole source of mainlining violence that many lazy people want to make it. However it does highlight something about nursery rhymes: they are incredibly violent. And whenever this topic comes up, someone will always trundle by to say, "Oh yeah? Well you should read the original versions! Those are even worse!" In this case that person is me. And this time it is you who are doing the trundling. Trundlers.

Early versions of nursery rhymes and faerie tales had all sorts of maiming and liberal exposure of entrails. I think one Cinderella version from an area of Germany involved birds pecking out eyes. For sure one version from there had the step-sisters carving off toes, heels and other parts of their feet in order to fit them into the slippers (fur, not glass, if I remember correctly). The blood gushing from their feet was the tip off that the slippers weren't really theirs.

One really fun thing (at least for an asstwerp like me) is to compare versions of faerie tales from different regions. My favorite example is the comparison of a French version of Hansel and Gretl and one from a region of Germany. In both cases, there is no witch. There is a house where God dwells, and then a house where the Devil dwells. In both versions the children, cast off from home, pass by God's house first. In the French version, God offers to protect the children, but they tell him to thanks, but no thanks. They'll take care of themselves. The German version, the children are made a similar offer, but foolishly disobey.

After a time, both sets of children reach the Devil's house. The French children defeat the Devil through a series of clever lies and ruses. The German children have to be rescued by God, and are so only through returning to strict, pure obedience. And you can take from that what you choose.

Posted by fad at 6:36am

Those Wacky Teenagers

Back where I used to live in Wisconsin, some kids got a little bored one weekend so decided to see what would happen if they dropped a loveseat off an overpass onto cars below. Well, of course what happened was they nearly killed a woman. Continuing the theme...
It was a bizarre and horrible assault. The weapon: a 20 pound turkey thrown out of a moving car and onto the windshield of an oncoming car. The driver is in critical condition.
A 20 pound frozen turkey thrown from an oncoming car is something fierce. Just imagine the relative speeds even if they were just moving along at regular side road speedlimits.
After being hit with something that weighs more than a cinder block, the victim lost consciousness while driving. If it wasn't for a friend in the passenger's seat who leaned over and grabbed the steering wheel, who knows how many would have been killed?
[...]
"She had severe facial trauma, she wasn't stable, she was in and out. She was unconscious at one point. The steering wheel was flattened out which took a majority of the impact.["]
Just imagine if it had been a direct hit.
Police say they have pictures of the assailants, five teens caught on store suveillance tape in the aisles of the Waldbaum's supermarket.

Police say they bought a 20 pound turkey. They obviously didn't think that their purchase would be traced back to them and a credit card reported stolen in the afternoon.
Ah, The Children™. The future of America.

Posted by fad at 6:08am

November 17th, 2004

Seriously, Bleach?

We're a few months into the school year, so time for a prank.
Lawyers for the girls said the cake was a prank, and that they had no intention to harm anyone.
[...]
"They took it into the cafeteria at lunch time and began passing it out to students, just whoever would take a piece,"
So what was in it? The classic Ex-Lax? Ear medicine? Pot?
Lab tests showed the icing on the cornbread cake contained an expired prescription drug, bleach, clay and tabasco sauce.
Woah. Bleach? Could be a little malice behind that.

Posted by fad at 6:08pm

A Real Fahrenheit

This is really cool.
More than 22,000 ancient cultural treasures from Afghanistan, feared lost or destroyed after decades of war and Taliban rule, have been taken out of dusty crates and safes in Kabul and inventoried for safekeeping, said a U.S. archeologist on Wednesday.
[...]
The bulk of the newly inventoried items were found in April 2003 when a presidential palace vault in Kabul was cracked open to reveal a trove of famed, in tact Bactrian gold pieces.

But many more artifacts, including giant Buddhist sculptures and ancient ivory statues, have been found in recent months in unmarked boxes and safes stashed for safekeeping during the Soviet-led coup and then during the years of hardline Taliban rule.
Nice that they get to be seen once again, rather than in forced hiding. Imagine trying to hide all that stuff as things fall apart all around you.

Posted by fad at 4:47pm

Dull Man Writes Needless Post

Well. Leave it to me to pick the one year mark of this site to go extra boring.

Posted by fad at 3:35pm

With A Dirty Dance Under The Glistening Moonlight

Oh no! Now literature is under threat from a bad breakup.
Zanesville, Ohio, resident Christina Sharp has sued best-selling author James Patterson, a former boyfriend, alleging that he passed off her writing as his own in the 1997 novel Cat and Mouse.
What majestic words did he lift from her?
Her suggestions included the following, which reportedly appeared in a 1996 letter to Patterson: "With graceful moonlit choreography, he rocked her back and forth, then forward, to and from then forward, forward, forward -- a sensuous cha-cha-cha to the window."

Patterson's version: "We slowly rocked back and forth, back and forth, a sensuous cha-cha-cha next to the broad picture window."
Can we sue over having to read that crap?

Posted by fad at 12:26pm

I Really Hate That Song

Greatest song of all time named.
Bob Dylan's Like a Rolling Stone has topped a poll to find the greatest 500 songs of all time.

The Rolling Stones' Satisfaction came second in the survey conducted among 172 musicians including Joni Mitchell and Elvis Costello.
And we know better than to argue with Joni Mitchell. She will cut you so fast, you won't even have time to notice before you drop that this parking lot was indeed previously paradise until they paved it.
1. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
2. Rolling Stones - Satisfaction
3. John Lennon - Imagine
4. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
5. Aretha Franklin - Respect
Oops...I'm afraid this list has to be disqualified for putting that piece of shit, awful song of negation "Imagine" on it. Clearly there has been some sort of error. I can't believe Joni let this happen. There will be blood spilled tonight.

Posted by fad at 11:20am

Keillor Is A Life Hating Ass

I originally decided not to post on this* (jokes were weak) until one phrase jumped out. Here's the happy set up.
[Garrison] Keillor will champion authors themselves when he launches a special radio show next year, "Literary Friendships," on Minnesota Public Radio.
[...]
Poet Robert Bly ("The Insanity of Empire: Poems Against the Iraq War"), will talk Jan. 18 with poet Donald Hall ("The Painted Bed"). The two have exchanged roughly 2,800 letters during a 50-year friendship.
Well. That sounds like a right, jolly time. Too bad I just won't be able to listen since I'll be busy slicing off my toes and rearranging them in a more Jesus pleasing fashion.
On Feb. 16, Pulitzer Prize-winner Michael Chabon ("The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay") will talk with his friend and wife, Ayelet Waldman, author of the "Mommy-Track" mystery series. Together the two have produced 10 novels and four children.
His "friend and wife"? What an odd way to talk about a marriage. Then again, I suppose there are plenty of relationships out there built purely on not being alone, so maybe the distinction is required.

*Registration may be required.

Posted by fad at 10:40am

This Is A Title

"Spellings eyed as new education secretary"

Oh come on....next we'll be getting "Housestrong for Homeland Security" or "Moneypurse for Commerce" or "Civillibertiesnightmare worsethanevenyourworstdelusionsaboutashkkkroft for Attorney General".

Posted by fad at 10:14am

Yellow Face, It Burns

I don't know about this. Most gamers aren't too keen on that outside thing.
A group of Singapore-based researchers are taking Pacman out of the arcade hall of fame and setting him loose on the streets.
Heck, I've been doing that for years. When driving late at night, or along a boring stretch of empty road (and let me tell you, there are parts of eastern Colorado that would cause Ansel Adams to mutter, "Christ...I hate nature.") I like to practice my lane changing or, more fun, straddle the lanes and "play pacman" with the lane stripes. Drivers around St. Louis do the same thing, except they call that "merging". It's a process that takes about 4 miles.
The virtual reality gaming system allows players to become the insatiable cookie-munching hero of the classic computer game or one of his ghostly nemeses, simply by donning a backpack and a pair of goggles.

But instead of becoming a yellow blob trapped in a low-resolution two-dimensional maze, "Human Pacman" can roam freely through real environments.
Now if they could just do that for Doom.
Human Pacman's efforts to find cookies and avoid ghosts can also be influenced by the input of online helpers who are able to see a visualization of the game on a computer screen and send messages to the player, or to his pursuers.
At least it does provide a basement dweller element.

Posted by fad at 9:54am

Or Pork Rinds

Hopefully aliens can understand poetry better than I can because, if not, this'll just enrage them with frustration.
Swedish poets have broadcast their work into outer space by radio to give alien life forms -- if they exist -- a taste of earthling literature.

"I can't think of anything more adequate than poetry to communicate what it means to be human,"
What about porn?

Posted by fad at 9:18am

Guess Your Dreams Always End

So, here it is. The big one year. Yup, one year ago today this site started with this post. Later that same night tornado sirens sang. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

For the most part, especially with the recent decisions to move certain topics to other sites, the goals for this place have been a success, save for one. And that will just take some time and courage.

Thanks to everyone who continues to visit. I'd say by now most visitors only know FAD and not previous incarnations, and that's rather satisfying. I was going to have a big "rename fad" contest, since "fad" is an incredibly stupid name to go by, but then I realized I'm incredibly stupid, so it fits.

Anyway, for those who might have missed it, since it was rather buried on a Friday, here's the short, reader submitted one year interview. See! that I truly do hate myself. Read! the post that brought down the mainstream media.

Things may slow down from time to time around here as I work shit out, but looks like this site is here to stay. At least until I break my record for time spent as a single persona.

Posted by fad at 12:00am

November 16th, 2004

COMPELLED BY THE POWER

A bonus search hit, since I just got it:

SKETCH OF THE BABY JESUS

Actually, I got a similar one earlier in the month, but this one gets the extra bonus for being in screaming all-caps. All-caps freak me out.

Posted by fad at 5:00pm

If This Were A Personal Ad

"National health study seeks children"

Pervert.

Posted by fad at 4:16pm

Good Thing I Don't Like Fish

People, pay attention. PETA is here again to make you life better by making it worse.
Touting tofu chowder and vegetarian sushi as alternatives, animal-rights activists have launched a novel campaign arguing that fish - contrary to stereotype - are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat.

Called the Fish Empathy Project
FEP...just feels squishy.
To press their argument, PETA activists plan demonstrations starting next month at selected seafood restaurants nationwide.
So remember, when you go out to the Long John Silver's, don't wear white. That fake blood is awful tough to wash out.
Friedrich acknowledges the difficulty of changing long-held customs, but thinks his project is worthwhile. "We'd rather go too far than not far enough," he said.
That's the PETA way!

Posted by fad at 3:33pm

Oh, And Menzies Committed Suicide

Remember, one man's shitty movie is another man's masterpiece.
Menzies was convicted of bludgeoning to death 21-year-old Thomas McKendrick in a frenzied attack two years ago after they had an argument over "Queen of the Damned,"
[...]
Menzies had seen a video of the horror film more than 100 times in the months before the murder, witnesses said. The defendant claimed that he had been ordered by a vampire from the movie to kill his friend.
Taking orders from a movie character isn't so unusual. Heck, Goldmember ordered one of my friends to recite every single quote from that movie at every single opportunity. And he did.
On Dec. 11, 2002, McKendrick criticized the vampire character during a visit to Menzies' home. An enraged Menzies killed McKendrick by repeatedly beating and stabbing his body, witnesses said.

During his trial last year, Menzies told the court he had drunk the dead man's blood and eaten part of his head.
Hey, it happens. Few years back, one of my friends kept saying it was Buford P. Justice. I had to cave in his head with a shovel and eat his kidneys. Nobody, I say nobody, fucks up "Smokey and the Bandit" quotes and names.

Posted by fad at 12:05pm

Whoops

"Hey, Japan? Yeah, China, here. Like, we're totally sorry about that sub thing. Our bad. We totally promise it'll never happen again.

Oh yeah, one more thing, could, we, like, keep this quiet? We really don't want anyone to make a big deal out of something that was, like, nothing.

Thanks, you're a real pal."

Posted by fad at 11:06am

An Open Letter

Dear Internet,

I've been doing my best to keep you entertained these last few weeks, but you've been doing very little in return. I feel like I'm being used, here, and I really don't want to be taken as a sap again. I can't just be here for you while you go gallivanting around with others ignoring my need for mindless entertainment.

I'm afraid you need to start becoming more interesting again right quick, or I'm going to have to just move on.

Thanks, and sorry I had to be so direct, but you've just been so damn boring lately.

fad

Posted by fad at 7:14am

Still Can't Recall The Tune. Happy About That

I have to say I find it amusing that the BBC site has run multiple stories every day about the new Band Aid recording. I guess it's just something I'll never understand.

Posted by fad at 6:39am

Grenade Seems Rather Sloppy

I wonder if they'll submit this to Humor in Uniform.
The wife of a Marine who pleaded guilty to conspiring to have her husband killed while he was stationed in Kuwait has been sentenced to more than seven years in prison.
[...]
She acknowledged an affair with another Marine, Larry Framness, from November 2001 to May 2003, and admitted she and Framness conspired to kill her husband, James Houston Glass.

James Glass and Framness were deployed from Marine Corps Air Station-Yuma and sent to Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait in early 2003. While there, Framness tried to kill Glass with a grenade after luring him to a guard shack, prosecutors said.

James Glass was injured but survived.
Once again, the transforming power of love brings tears to my eyes.

Posted by fad at 6:29am

Lazy Posting

Since I have nothing else today (ok, I never have anything worthwhile), it's time for the mid month Google search review. It's a short list today since, as Slim Pickens would say, there aren't that many from which to choose. Most of the month was taken up by searches for some stupid flash movie or something from the first of the new batch of South Parks. Oh, and in the last week, lots about buying and selling kidneys and mandatory national service, for some reason. But here we go with what was left.
greedo shoots first
Yes he does. At this point, you just have to deal with it.

john kerry in sombrero
For some reason, that's just disturbing. Not that he might have worn one, but that someone was looking for it.

flouride conspiracy
Shhhhh...not so loud....they're everywhere.

sing along stupid bitch
Yeah, and don't fuck up the words either.

"fucking idiot"
Damn. I'm down to #10.

elija wood's farm animal affair
Ok....I think this was a plant.

The sun won't explode
That's just wishful thinking, as you will find out on December 8th.

Why the Internet was created
So I could look at pictures of naked ladies and pretend that at least they like me.

shattering owls
I don't know what brought that on, but it created a hell of an image in my mind.
Welp, that about covers it. What a waste of all our time. As it should be.

Posted by fad at 6:21am

November 15th, 2004

Trying To Hide Opinion Of Senators

Just heard on the radio that ABC is reporting that Rice will be nominated for Sec. of State. Man, start nailing up the support beams, because the grandstanding at those Senate hearings is going to be intense. Right now Senators are practicing their grave concern and scoffingly incredulous faces in the mirror.

Posted by fad at 4:44pm

Those Mice Are Probably Well Dead

Looks like an ALF (and not the Gordon Schumway one) or ALF-like strike in Iowa.
The vandalism included laboratories where research animals were housed. An undetermined number of mice and rats were missing. More than 30 computers were damaged, university officials said.

Because of uncertainty about the extent of the damage, including the deliberate dumping of chemicals, university police evacuated the building Sunday and don't expect to reopen it until after the Thanksgiving break.
These people rarely differentiate on research, so destroy indiscriminately. When asses like this firebombed a department at the University of Washington, they destroyed the genetic work they opposed, but they also destroyed rare, precious plant life and the research being done by someone who admitted she was sympathetic to the ALF/ELF beliefs (if not tactics). Oh well, they won't be happy until we're hut living grass munchers, so I guess they don't care what dies now.

Posted by fad at 4:25pm

Naming

Microbrews are starting to get as stupid/clever in their naming as hot sauces.
Tim O'Leary was in a stew over what to name his brew.

The Montana microbrewery owner knew that a clever name can go a long way toward making a small beer bigger. So, he came up with the moniker Olde Bongwater Hemp Porter.
"Dude!...it's, like, got 'bong' and 'hemp' in the name!"

Strange that the article let it pass that a guy named "Tim O'Leary" named his beer like that.

Posted by fad at 2:52pm

Hopefully They Just Let The Cops Nail The Fucker

Well, here's an unpleasant switch.
Authorities say the handwritten anonymous letter was covered with swastikas and postmarked in Queens, New York. In it the sender writes, "I promise violence against Presbyterian churches -- they will go up in flames. That's a terrorist threat." The writer threatens arson of Presbyterian churches because of "your anti-Israel and anti-Jewish attitudes."
I hope they try to explore the root causes and call for a summit of understanding and try to reach out to this person. Maybe they can start including more Jewish rites in their services. Oh, and they must be sure to blame US foreign policy for this somehow. Maybe they can meet with Castro for a planning session.

Posted by fad at 2:38pm

Never Knew He Won An Oscar

Huh. Karl Malden is still alive. So's Abe Vigoda (as of this typing).

Posted by fad at 1:39pm

Doll's Eyes

"U.S. Exhorts Nations to Protect Sharks"
"I think sharks have been abused over the last 10 years," said William Hogarth, the head of the National Marine Fisheries Service.
No wonder they've been so cranky the last few years.
A great white shark estimated to be at least 18 feet long attacked and presumably killed an elderly South African woman Monday off a beach near Cape Town, officials said.
One man's shark attack is another man's freedom fighter.

Posted by fad at 12:41pm

Sweet, Sweet Justice

Finally, some accountability at CBS.
CBS News has fired the producer responsible for breaking into "CSI: NY" last week for a special report on Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's death, a CBS executive said Monday, speaking on condition of anonymity.
You can fuck around all you want with the real news and attempts to influence elections, but don't you dare mess with our CSI viewing, dammit.

Posted by fad at 12:36pm

Quiz Time

  1. Soda
  2. Pop
  3. Soda Pop
  4. Coke
  5. Where the fuck's my beer?

Posted by fad at 11:37am

Sending Our Love Down The Well

Ooo! Ooo! Band Aid fight! Band Aid fight!
The U2 frontman sings "Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you" 20 years after singing it the first time.
[...]
The Darkness' Justin Hawkins had earlier claimed: "I did it and I did it better than him.

"So his management kicked up a stink and it obviously means a lot to him."
That's it; I'm boycotting the song.

Posted by fad at 11:30am

Yer Honor

Thank God suing is so easy.
Cyl recently filed suit against Lee Bauman, claiming Bauman seduced Lupe Cyl, persuaded her to leave him and, in the end, destroyed his life. Claiming "great mental suffering and anguish," "devastation" and "suffering," his lawsuit seeks unspecified damages.

In most places, Cyl's case wouldn't even be allowed, but Illinois remains one of the few states where "alienation of affection" lawsuits can be filed.
Hmmm, maybe I should move across the river. Oh, wait. I'd need someone's affection there to get alienated, and we know that ain't ever happening.
Bauman, a recently divorced Chicago fire lieutenant, lives a block away from Cyl, who lives in the basement of his mother's Southwest Side home.
Sounds about right.

Posted by fad at 11:16am

Wisdom Gained

It's now nearly two weeks from the election, so I thought I'd catalogue some of the things we've learned from it.

*Holds true for pretty much every election.**
**Holds true for pretty much all Senators, especially Senate Republicans.

Posted by fad at 9:46am

KNEEL!

No real surprise, Colin Powell has resigned. My suggestion for replacement? Replace a general with a general. The obvious choice is Zod, if he will serve. He has the temperament that matches our dangerous times.

Posted by fad at 9:11am

Apologies

This Ceremony post set me back into deep Joy Division again. For the first time in years I pulled out the Still album to listen to the live tracks (I think recorded at their last ever show). With the recent release of the box set with various live tracks, as well as a couple live albums pulled from the archives, these tracks had fallen out of mind. I got Still at the used CD store the same day I got Unknown Pleasures. I was just getting into Joy Division and really wasn't in to any of the tracks on Still finding them too out there or weird for me at the time. So, since so many releases covered the same territory, it collected dust.

Over the weekend, though, I played those live tracks again and was surprised at how good they were. Yeah, the sound quality isn't the best, but it isn't on almost any live track of theirs I've heard. The band just sounded so damn good. I contrasted that with a BBC live CD of New Order I have. It was sloppy and dull until "Age of Consent" and, especially, "Sister Ray" (drugs and apathy may have contributed to the low quality at this point).

They sounded better on many of the Still tracks than on some of the live CDs I have that claim to be legendary shows. But, then, live shows are a collection of the whole experience. You really do have to be there. I saw the Trashcan Sinatras play twice this year, once in March, and then again last month. The band was absolutely excellent both times, but the shows had different feels due to the crowd. The first time, everyone was so in to it, the night was just transporting. The second time, at times it seemed they were playing in front of a Quaker meeting. It was still a great, great show (even though they didn't play "The Genius I Was" as they did at almost every other show), but somewhat tempered by the dull crowd.

Ok, my ramble is done. Don't worry, I will probably be offloading these stupid music related posts to another site like I did my book readin' musings.

Posted by fad at 9:09am

Skirting The Event Horizon

Ah, here we are in the last week before the Holiday Season really begins. It's that magical time of year when, as they put it on the now called Roe Conn Show, we enter the Breakup Moratorium. Yes, it's that wonderful stretch where no matter how miserable the person you're with makes you, all effort is made not to break up so that you aren't alone during the holidays. Oh sure, a break up may happen here and there, but it will be repaired as soon as that first lonely moment hits or an invitation to a party arrives. And, after all, at least you'll be getting laid, which matters for something on those long winter nights.

Posted by fad at 9:05am